My wife and I have been together for close to two years. Not to long ago she asked me about my sexual history. I told her that I was a virgin when I met her which is true. I knew she had been with several people and when she told me about hers it didn't bother me at first. Then she had talked about the number of times she was with a previous partner. This was the guy just before me. She was with him for only two months and they had slept together over 50 times. We have slept together about half of this the entire time we've been together. I would just like some insight as to why she slept with him so much more than she has slept with me. Serious answers only please.
2007-01-09 05:55:18 · 39 answers · asked by vzbwf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please don't get upset by what I'm about to type. Plain and simple, he had more experience! The fact you "saved" yourself or just did not get lucky is the problem.
There are so many people that have asked the question "is it better to wait until marriage to have sex". Well, I think you just found out the hard way that's the worst thing to do.
It can be difficult for someone to get married and find out the person they are going to be with for the rest of their lives can't "hit the boards running." Marriage is supposed to be satisfying both emotionally and physically.
Since you did not state this, I'll say it. YOU NEED TO ASK YOUR MORE EXPERIENCED WIFE TO HELP YOU PLEASE HER! By that I'm saying you need to ask what she likes, how she likes it and how often she likes it! Ask her if she would be offended if you purchased some books on making love.
All of the women I've was with before marriage and my wife want an aggressive man that already has the basic process undercontrol. The additional research into her specific needs must be done, but out of the box, you should know what to do.
In the "REAL WORLD" 50 times in two months in a new relationship is not unusual. To be honest with you, if she's had multiple partners and is in her twenties, she could have had sex THOUSANDS of times! Don't freak out and don't think she's a S1ut, she isn't. She's not the problem, YOU ARE THE ISSUE THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED!
I'll bet she wants to be with you a great deal more than you want to be with her! Even the worst lover on the planet will be called on to fulfill a sexual need. Feel lucky she has not started tipping around on you.
School is in session and with only 25 shots under your belt, you are not even in pre-school yet. You're still watching Sesame Street! You should try your best to get as much extra credit as you can. You have a wife that loves you (buy luck), make sure she understands you are a quick learner and are willing to stay after school for one on one instruction.
2007-01-09 06:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Try not to think about it in terms of quantity. It's quality that matters to her.
If she's staying with you, then what you're giving her is what she wants. I'm guessing her man previous to you was strictly a sexual relationship and not much else.
As women mature, they'll often realize that while sex is important, it's not the most important aspect of a relationship. You are satisfying her in more important areas of her life.
2007-01-09 06:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jeff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised that it took two years of marriage for the two of you to have this discussion.
Please do not be concerned with how often she slept with the previous boyfriend. So many factors come into play with how much a couple has sex. Perhaps she couldn't talk to him the way she can with you, or they didn't have the same interests, so the only thing they had to do together was have sex.
Sex is just a part of a relationship; it does not define it. Try to push this out of your mind and remember that she married YOU.
2007-01-09 06:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the only thing that solves the problem. You should ask her what the reason is and maybe she just thinks you don't want it that much. Also a relationship is hot the first couple of months so if a couple decides to have sex they will do it a lot and then slow down. They never got to the slow down faze. I don't think you were wrong asking about her past because its a part of her and will always be.
2007-01-11 04:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on the love between you, the fact that you are married and NOT the number of times you have had sex.
And just some advice for the future, don't ask her about the past anymore. These details should be left in the past, that's where they belong.
There is no reason for the difference, I promise. The timing is just different. It's you that she loves. Let it be enough.
2007-01-09 06:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
odd that you two would have this conversation now, after 2 years of marriage. this should've been a conversation to have before you two started having a sexual relationship.
And don't worry about the amount. It's the quality, not the quantity that counts. She married you. You make her happy. Stop fretting.
2007-01-09 06:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's been in her past relationship longer than two years. Another reason could be that the opportunity was there and now there not so many opportunities.
Her age might be another factor. Women usually peak around their teenage years and their 30's. Maybe her peak is over and now she wants it less.
There can be a lot of reason.
2007-01-09 06:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by The Doctor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a question that only you can ask her. If it bothers you to hear about your wife's sexual past then tell her that you don't want to hear it. What matters is that she is with you now.
2007-01-09 06:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship is different. I would think it could be a good thing that when you are with her there is other things to do than have sex. If there is nothing in a relationship other than physical attraction then when you are together what else are you going to do? If you are compatible and spend some time talking, getting to know each other, some having sex, some doing other things then the relationship is likely to last much longer.
2007-01-09 06:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by Brian 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When we get married, sex is so convienent that we take it for granted. When you are just seeing someone, that you might not see everyday, you sieze the opportunity.
I'm sure your wife did not mean to hurt you.
And, if you have not had sex with your wife that much over the last two years, maybe you need to step-up your game a little.
2007-01-09 06:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋