Thanks to everyone who replied to my previous question.I would like your honest opinion about this poem I wrote,please.
A Letter
Dear Girl,
I thought I should tell you
I am very full today-so much so that there is quite a space constraint--
with all sorts of feelings jostling for my attention.
I am feeling tugs all the time
whenever he is coming into your sight
I wonder why?
Anyways, maybe you should know-
it is becoming rather uncomfortable
if you transmit confused signals all the time
I am sending smiles to your face at most unlikely times—
sometimes with tears, even.
And you know, I almost turned over with joy
when he called you ‘beautiful’.
So, if you see I am a little dysfunctional today
its not entirely my fault, you know who to blame.
With love,
Your heart.
2007-01-09 05:48:33 · 8 answers · asked by Morphia 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
It was really good. i like to write too but i have trouble coming up with unique concepts and themes, your was unique as well as carrying good flow. i liked how you finished it, i was thinking about what you were trying to say in the begining and then i got it, the use of description words such as constraint was useful when u know its a message from your heart to you. I liked it alot.
2007-01-09 07:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by christopher M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not inevitably would desire to rhyme whether it needs to hit my thoughts. i think of readability of expression is important as properly. i don't elect to 2d guess what i'm examining approximately. I constantly seem for what I time era "poetic gem stones"interior the textual content fabric.
2016-10-30 10:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cute. So cute as to be a little bit cloying, actually. You should think about titling it "Heart Letter" or something like that and omitting the "Dear Girl," and "With love, your heart" parts.
2007-01-09 07:32:24 · answer #3 · answered by Drew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is good, coming from a 30 yr old masters degree english teacher.
2007-01-09 05:56:58 · answer #4 · answered by mark p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a slice of emotion over a situation that all of us encounters in life.
very nicely put. On a scale of ten, its about a 7.
2007-01-09 06:22:09 · answer #5 · answered by flowerpet56 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its good but i think words like constraint should be broken down into a more understandable word just that and it will be perfection!!!
2007-01-09 05:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure I've ever said this about a poem before....Love it, wouldn't change a thing. Well done.
2007-01-09 06:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS A NICELY WRITTEN LETTER, BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE LIKE POETRY TO ME....
AND WHEN A GAL THOUGHT AND ASKED...
THOUGHTS & ANSWERS WHILE IS MASKED...
WE ALL HIT BACK WITH WORDS & BUTTONS...
OH MY GOD AND DREAMED OF HEAVENS...
WHICH IS WHICH AND WHO IS WHO...
IN A DELIMA...ME AND YOU....
AND THEN I ASK YOU NOW AND THEN...
WOULD YOU SEE THIS LIKE WE'RE IN...
A SET OF POETRY WORDS AND RHYMS...
WITH SUCH MUSIC DONT ASK WHYS...
******************************************************
Dear...
Something like that....I would call Poetry...
2007-01-09 06:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by FOREVER AUTUMN 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋