I love my husband and don't want to leave him, but I have also fallen back in love with what I consider to be my first love after 30 some years of no contact.
The old byfriend contacted me first, and all my old feelings for him came flooding right back. He has been the ONLY one that could/can make my hands shake, heart beat fast, and become speechless, even after all these years.
I called my old bf's bluff, and met up with him for one night to finish what was to be "unfinished" business between us. It was great seeing him again, but guess what? It's still unfinished and am afraid that is the way it's going to remain. We have so much in common, sometimes more than my husband and I.
I highly doubt that we will ever end up together in this lifetime since we made it quite clear to each other, that we would never leave our spouses for each other. He knows I love him, but I don't think he believes one can love 2 women or 2 men at the same time.
2007-01-09 05:45:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We only met one and one time only. Our distance from each other is only one reason for that. This was also the only time either one of us has stepped out on our respective spouses. I personally have never had the desire to meet up with any other man from my past or present, even though I've had the opportunity presented to me. This man is the only one that I would ever do such a thing for.
2007-01-11 07:25:00 · update #1
We only met one and one time only in another state from where neither one of us lives. Our distance from each other is only one reason for that. We live several thousands of miles apart. This was also the only time either one of us has stepped out on our respective spouses. I personally have never had the desire to meet up with any other man from my past or present, even though I've had the opportunity presented to me. This man is the only one that I would ever do such a thing for.
2007-01-11 07:28:25 · update #2
Of course you can be in love with two men at the same time, but ending a marriage is a big deal.
Don't assume that if you left your husband for the old boyfriend that you would find happiness. The fast heartbeat, shaking hands and being speechless just means you're excited about a new relationship. If you left him, you would find out that he has many flaws just like your husband and believe me, all that you're feeling would end when the honeymoon was over.
My guess is that he would never leave his wife and that he is just having a mid-life crisis. Just enjoy the sex, use protection and for God's sake, don't let your husband find out and hurt him. You'll get it out of your system soon enough.
2007-01-13 12:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is prefectly possible to love two men at the same time. At least you realise up front that the possibility of you and your ex having a permanent relationship is virtually non-existent.
Memories are also usually a lot better than reality. We remember things the way we wanted them to be. I am not saying that what you remember is not what happened, its just that we tend to remember the good times only. The first guy I slept with will always hold a special place in my heart.
When we were together, we had this little saying- the one you marry will more than likely not be the only one to make your heart skip a few beats. I still miss him sometimes and look back on the memories we made. They were all happy, we never argued, etc, never even actually broke up, we just drifted apart for a while and then became 'fck buddies' and then I relised it made no sense. I was making a mockery of the love we had shared.
What you need to do is put him where he belongs, in the past. Do not risk your present or your future on something from the past. If there was a possibility of a future then probably but not as you say no.
2007-01-09 05:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible to love 2 men at the same time. But there are so many different reasons for that. But the way it sounds you need to do some serious heart to heart thinking. weigh out the good and bad. But you never can tell what will happen. Love is a powerful thing.
2007-01-09 06:07:40 · answer #3 · answered by dyersburgdelilah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course u will still have feelings for him, he is ur first true love. u can't never forget ur first love, the feelings are too deep to forget. in this case what u should do is to stay away from him give him some distance. talk to him but not on a daily basis otherwise u guys gonna end up sleeping together and have an affair. no u cannot love two men at the same time. if u ask me i think u love ur first boyfriend more than ur husband.
2007-01-09 05:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds more like lust for your old boyfriend and really a marvels sex buddy. I can not tell you what to do but I can tell you that if you both agreed that you can not leave you spouses then you are really in for trouble. Because when you spouses find out they will never trust you again and have you on a shorter leash then what you had before. So if you can live with that and the possibility of loosing you children's respect then continue your marvelous sex relationship.
2007-01-09 05:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by florie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes its possible to love more then one person at a time... problem lies when u act upon those feelings.. what has ur husband done to deserve such an unattachment from u? Does he beat u? does he cheat? does he verbally abuse u ? does he control every waking move u make? what????????? im guessing nothing to bad as that didnt make it into ur speech.. yet a man chose u to love for the rest of his life.. stands by u , good or bad.. may not be perfect but does what he can for u.. yet deserves u going back in time and being cheated upon , not only physically but mentally as well, with a fantasy .. a fairy tale of sorts because basically ur "first love just use u for a piece of azz" and u fell for it.. i know i know ur saying thats not how it is with u , but it is.. u just cant see it cause ur off in ga ga land.. but he told u that ur not worth giving up every thing for, yet ur husband gives up everything for u every day of his life.. u just treated the person that really loves u like crap and ur worshiping the one that is saying all the right stuff yet has told u ur not worth the effort of giving up everything for.. how is that love???? ur an idiot , sorry but u are, u feel for the time warp in history, he played on ur emotions and he got what he wanted and probably will continue as long as u put out from time to time, meanwhile ur husband, has u on a pedestal thinking what a great wife he has, u may not be perfect but he's thinking ur his.. but i can tell u when he finds out, and he will eventually u'll screw up and he'll put 2 and 2 together he'll realize that his life he thought he had, was all fake, all based on lies..and u will tear ur family apart and i dont know if u have kids, but they will always know that their mom was trash and couldnt keep her pants on.. NICE GOING..then eventually his wife is going to find out, and i dont know if he has kids, but more then likely it will destroy his family to pieces as well...so there u go..u just destroyed a bunch of lives because u cant handle being a grown up and own up to your wedding vows. Hope your proud of yourself.. cause when ur secret gets out, no one else will be..
2007-01-09 05:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is possible, but it would be hard press to believe you & he did not finish the "unfinished" business after meeting from all those years. It sounds like afterward the two of you made a good decision.
2007-01-09 05:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can only love one man at a time because you feel super close to one but the other is just lust
plus after 30 some years of no contact they have probably changed a lot trust me
but if you well the fact that he can make u heart beat faster and make your hands shake then you might have kive for him and lust for your husband
dont know wat else to tell you
2007-01-13 11:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by emu2013 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure it really is achieveable. Love is brought about by way of your body and options being inspired by way of exterior and intrinsic aspects on the concern of both adult men. even as your senses are inspired your body releases chemical compounds that set off thoughts. it really is achieveable to be attracted to at least one guy who's stimulating you in a unmarried ingredient even as the allure to the different guy is stimulating differnt senses. your body receives addicted to those chemical compounds. it really is love. even as the stimulus leaves the chemical compounds are released. you've withdraws. The conflict with love isn't this chemical launch, in spite of the undeniable fact that. The conflict with love are the selfish regulations that you administor. you would possibly want to be in love with yet another human being, yet pick now to not be with them till they meet particular criteria. alongside with, he won't be able to be abusive, he must be good consisting of your little ones, he could make a particular volume, he has to come back from a good kinfolk, etc. those are social regulations no longer organic and organic. right it truly is the question I positioned to you. Do you experience in case you had met each of the adult men a three hundred and sixty 5 days except for one yet another that you would possibly want to sleep with them in accordance to in easy words organic and organic allure. in case you answer sure to this question with regard to both adult men, then sure you do love them. Now ask your self in the experience that they meet your social regulations. do they make adequate, how do you imagine your courting with each can be a three hundred and sixty 5 days after being with them. Now, it truly is the extreme section. in case you answer sure to the organic and organic and the sociological aspects of that inquiry, then go away them both and go and locate love elsewhere that couldn't extremely so puzzling. you do not choose that the position love is in contact. Love could be a gentle journey, no longer a accountable experience sorry about. desire it helps. fortunate me.
2016-12-28 13:02:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love your husband. You are infatuated with your ex. It is not love.
You had no business meeting up with him. Stay away. Take a cold shower. Don't talk to him again. Refocus on your husband .
Smarten up. You'll ruin everything for nothing.
2007-01-09 05:50:55 · answer #10 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋