My wife and I had a long conversation the other week and basically she said I need to initiate sex more often. I've always been a little awkward about this because it makes me feel silly -- especially when she shoots me down.
I tried it the other day by sending her a text message (which I don't normally do) and she misinterpreted it to be a non-sexual message. When she called to ask about it, I was too embarrassed to say what I'd really meant.
As the evening went on, she could tell something was on my mind and dragged it out of me. I told her I was trying to be subtle like I thought she'd want me to, but it didn't work. I got sad and she got angry at me for being so easily discouraged.
She knows I'm trying to make this work the way she wants it to, but it's so depressing when it doesn't work. Does anyone know how I can initiate sex in a way that's more interesting and creative than just going up to her and saying, "Let's f---"?
Go easy on me. It's bad enough I'm having to ask.
2007-01-09 05:43:20 · 12 answers · asked by Jeff 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A few nights after the conversation, we talked a little more about our sexual histories with each other and with other people we'd dated. It was a great talk and afterward we had the best sex we'd had in a long time.
I was really excited the next day and was looking to have a repeat performance. That's why I sent the text message, but as I've already said, it crashed and burned.
So how can I initiate sex in a way that's exciting to her?
2007-01-09 05:45:26 · update #1
Based on the answers so far, I'm glad that sex comes as easily to most of you as it seems to. I really am, but it's just not that easy for me to do some of the things you're asking me to do.
I've always been more of the loving, caring guy rather than the sex-animal, throw-her-on-the-bed type. When I try to do this, I feel dumb. Like I'm playing a part that nobody's buying.
I'm reasonably good at the sensitive approach (candles, massages, kisses, etc.) but now it sounds like she wants the "manly man" approach, and I feel like I'm sh-- out of luck now because I can't do it.
2007-01-09 06:06:38 · update #2
Sounds like you are a very shy person or find it awkward to talk about this. DUDE, step up your game or your gal is going to play you for a wimp.
If she's ASKING you to be more aggressive, DO IT! If she shoots you down, whack off in her presence to let her know you need to release yourself some how!
Don't miss out on your love making. As men age, things stop working on demand. By the grace of god, those problems have not hit me (and I hope they never do).
2007-01-09 05:55:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems there is a certain way she wants you to take her. If she wants you to say lets f#$%.Then say it softly in her ear as she is washing dishes. Start by kissing her on the neck and taking off her clothes. Tell her how you were thinking all these dirty thoughts all day and now u can't wait anymore.Then proceed to do her in the kitchen.
You guys probably had really good sex that night because you shared so much and got really heated talking about it and thinking about old flames so try porn.
Buy her some thing sexy but have her pick it up from the store like a sexy pair of panties.Have them gift wrap and you put a note in telling her to have these on when she gets home. When she walks in the door grab her and check You should know what to do from there.Above all remember this is your partner for life so it's okay to step outside your comfort zone sexual it's between the 2 of you and it can only make for a better marriage.
You are playing a role for some people it comes natural and others must work on it. So i suggest some wine to loosin you up or some type of alchole. Then you will get in the mood.
2007-01-09 06:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It turns out there's a distinctive means she desires you to take her. If she desires you to mention shall we f#$%.Then say it softly in her ear as she is washing dishes. Start by means of kissing her at the neck and commencing her garments. Tell her the way you had been considering a majority of these soiled ideas all day and now u cannot wait anymore.Then continue to do her within the kitchen. You men regularly had fairly well intercourse that night time since you shared such a lot and bought fairly heated speakme approximately it and considering ancient flames so check out porn. Buy her anything attractive however have her decide on it up from the shop like a horny pair of panties.Have them reward wrap and you set a notice in telling her to have those on while she will get house. When she walks within the door grasp her and assess You must understand what to do from there.Above all bear in mind that is your accomplice for existence so it is ok to step external your relief zone sexual it is among the two of you and it might probably best make for a larger marriage. You are gambling a position for a few humans it comes traditional and others need to paintings on it. So i propose a few wine to loosin you up or a few variety of alchole. Then you're going to get within the temper.
2016-09-03 19:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love notes in her bag, on her rear view mirror, in her wallet - anywhere you can tuck a little post-it - will be exciting to her to find them randomly throughout the day. I know you said the text back fired, but try again. You need to "de-nude" yourself with your wife - how can you feel uncomfortable with your own wife? C'mon man - take the bull by the horns!!!
2007-01-09 05:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about what your wife finds sexy. But, I love it when my husband awakens me while performing oral pleasure. I don't like it too much when he asks for it but if he kisses me and gently works me into arousal, I find that I can't say no to that.
So, maybe she doesn't want to talk about the sex. She just wants you to be sexual in nature. A better word would be sensual.
Good luck!
2007-01-09 05:50:42 · answer #5 · answered by Vernita B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, she sounds high maintenance. SHE needs to go easy on you. Also, you gotta forget your ackwardness, you guys are MARRIED! That should be the one person in the world you feel most comfortable around. I know this doesn't really help, but if she's not catching your hints, maybe the problem is HER not you.
2007-01-09 05:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U dont ask for it! Woman like the man to be manly and throw her on the bed and take it.I dont mean b rough just go for it ! act like u know what u want and expect it and no talking........
2007-01-09 05:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, loosen up! She loves you and she wants you! Just do whatever comes natural. And if she keeps shooting you down, you need to sit her down and tell her to stop sending you mixed messages!
2007-01-09 05:48:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems to me she shoots you down when you ask for 'it'. something is going on here i think she is playing a game. she wants you to "take her" more forcibly.
Get some rope and a whip.
-OR-
get some candles and massage oil and learn to do her with that first.
2007-01-09 05:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by a1tommyL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY ASKING WHAT SHE LIKES AND GO WITH THAT FOR EXAMPLE WHEN MY HUSBAND SLIPS UP BEHIND ME AND STARTS KISSING OME ONTHE NECK AND WISPERS SWEET THING IN MY EAR AND TELLS ME HOW HE WANT TO MAKE ME MOND OR HOW HIS DESIRES FOR THE NIGHT IS TO SEE HOW MANY BIG OS HE CAN GIIVIE ME OH WELL FIND OUT WHAT SHE WANTS AND KEEP PRATICE MAKES PERFECT AND IF LYOU LOBVE HER YOULL KEEP TRYING AFTER ALL YOU GOT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO GET IT RIGHT AND IT IS FUN TRYING
2007-01-09 06:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋