How Do You Know When Its The Right Time To Come Out?

Question

I've known it for a while, since I was about in 5th grade. But how do you know when it's the right time to come out?

I also have an interesting situation, my current roommate is gay, and I've been think about telling him because he's been through it and he really is a nice persons. Not attract to him at all. But I don't think I should burden other people with my problems.

So What should I do?

Answer 1

You don't have to "come out" unless you really want to. You can live a closeted life and just let people think your gay if they think you are. As my mother used to say, "Let people think your stupid, don't open you mouth and let them know" Substituting Gay for Stupid.
I would discuss how you feel with your room mate is a good idea, since he has gone through the experience they would be able to help you. You might feel that you would be burdening him, but we always can use and need the help of others and by the same token we should help others when we can.
The best and only time to "come out" is when you ready and can handle it.

Answer 2

For heaven's sake, tell your roommate! What's with this "burdening other people" business? Your life is as significant as anyone else's. If anyone would not only understand but be relieved to find out, it would be your roomie. You don't have to be hot for him to share that you're gay, too. You're lucky that you know someone who is gay, at this stage in your life.

You don't have to come out to the whole world, you know, certainly not all at once. Trusted friends are always the way to start. Some may already suspect and have been afraid to say anything. Some won't accept you as gay, so you make new friends who don't know you any other way. It'll balance out.

But PLEASE trust your roomie. And don't be surprised when the world doesn't end when you do tell him.

Hugs, kiddo, and good luck!

Answer 3

for those that are in the closet, I think there comes a time when the yearning inside you starts to swell. This is the time to start looking at the pros and cons of your particualr case.

Remember coming out can be done in stages. You do not have to suddenly dress in pink and skip around town. Tell those people that need to know and get on with living your life. A room mate could be a good start but it does depend on the person.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Do what you feel you need to do, no one can really give you info about coming out its a stepping stone in which everyone must take alone. Just like your first steps this is one of the memories you will carry for the rest of your life. Just remember take the good with the bad...Don't let anyone take your self respect away. You are going to go though a few tumbles but be sure about yourself and I wish you the best of luck...If anything you always have Answer.yahoo.com to look for help we are here and you can count on us to try to help you in any manner or form.

Answer 5

You didn't say how old you were... but if you like still pre-teens or early teens, it might help to wait. But I'm now 20 and still in the closest. Different cultures and lots of issues - its like its never the right time to come out... But I think it'll help to speak your worries with your room-mate. He's been throught it; he'll help you out. I wouldn't necessarily consider it a burden. Best of luck!

Answer 6

While it may be a big relief for you to come out, you have to be ready for the downside as well. Some people will shun you, your family may stop speaking to you, you may feel repercussions that you never expected.

Once you've thought through the "worst case scenarios" and are ready to deal with them, then you can come out. This is a bell that you can't unring. Once you are out, you can't go back in, so be sure you are ready.

.

Answer 7

Actually, I never thought I would tell my parents out of fear.

Then, one day I fell in love with the most wonderful guy who happened to have Aids. Not HIV+, but full blown. My worst nightmare come to life. I quickly learned that it was either love him or lose him and I wasn't about to give him up. So, I chose him, we were able to have sex about once a year (yeah, it wasn't fun, but that wasn't what I loved about him). Oddly, it DID make coming out to my family eaiser. . .

And, they loved him as much as me for the next 8 years he was alive and his family thought the same thing about me. I supported him emotionally and financially when the time came, and I still have a burial spot next to him in his families plot. As I said, they are very kind. My family still speaks about him, 9 years after his death, and I still call and visit with his family almost a decade later. I'm going to send our neice (his only one) through college and make sure that everyone is okay.

A decade later, I'm still HIV negative and now happy again. I have his family AND mine to thank for that. So, by coming out, you may not only gain the love of your own family but the love of someone elses, too!

Answer 8

When you are more secure of yourself,it's the perfect time to come out.
Be ready for some pretty share of resistance.
And what ever comes your way.
But it should not stop you to lead the life that you need or want.
Greetings:rob.xxx

Answer 9

You come out when you are comfortable with yourself and the idea of everyone else knowing that you're gay. There is not set time.

Answer 10

Do what ever you feel you should do. Coming out is probably the most freeing and outright scariest thing you can do. So think on it for awhile.