About a year and a half ago my wife and I divorced due to spousal neglect as she calls it. She said I just wasn't there for her. To make her happy I agreed to the divorce even though it ripped my heart out.
After the divorce I became mean and disagreeable due to the fact that I have bipolar disorder.
Now Amy is back in my life. We have started dating again. She has even moved back into my home and we even sleep in the same bed on most nights.
The thing is I have considered asking her to re-marry me but don't want to push things. Should I ask her now and pray she will say yes. Or should I wait until for now. We have only been back together for 5 months. It is like we have found the spark that was lacking a year and a half ago. I have realized that I still love Amy and I believe that she still loves me. That is why this nags at my mind daily.
2007-01-09 05:26:39 · 15 answers · asked by Jerrie's Daddy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I responded to your other question too--so now I will suggest this--wait on the marriage proposal. It seems you have enough drama going on in your life right now with your mom. Get that situation sorted out and THEN talk to Amy about getting re-married. How you handle the situation with your mom will show Amy that you are committed to your marriage, to her and your son. Then, I suspect she will quite ready to give you a big yes.
I don't know if you two have gone to marriage counseling in the past, but you might suggest that to Amy. Tell her, "I love you and I want us to be a family but i want to make sure we do it right this time. What would you think of going to counseling to make sure the mistakes of the past do not repeat themselves?" If she says yes--do it. If she says no, accept that but tell he if she ever ever changes her mind to let you know. Then, once things with your mom settle down, ask for her hand again.
2007-01-09 05:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you feel you'd have to "pray she will say yes" tells me that it's too soon. Also the fact that you only sleep in the same bed "on most nights" and the fact that you believe she still loves you but it sounds like she hasn't said as much.
Sounds like a relationship on the mend, but take it slow. It also seems like you need to have some conversations about where you think this will lead. Could your uncertainty mean that you suspect she is just back with you out of familiarity and convenience??
2007-01-09 13:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is how it goes though, because my husband and me separated then when he came back it was like we were friends again, but as long as it is that piece of paper then I do not know what changes people, I guess it is you are bonded and can not walk out unless you go through a divorce, so I would say just live together for awhile and see if things will be right. Anyway let your heart guide you the right way.
2007-01-09 13:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by may s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay on your meds and see how things go. Don't rush into this again, especially since (from your other post) there's a little boy involved. Make sure you're damn sure before you go through it again. If you're only sleeping in the same bed "most nights" and you have to pray she'll say yes, you're probably not at that point yet. When you can say, "I KNOW she still loves me" instead of "I believe she still loves me," then you can start to consider it again.
Good luck to ya.
2007-01-09 13:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 months is a while, but I dont think long enough. you still could be in a "honeymoon stage" where everything is good..and it could turn back to the old habits and old ways.
Since you have already done it once and you are questioning it now...then maybe you are feeling unsure. I would wait.
2007-01-09 13:35:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say leave it alone. You both must me one of those couples that gets along better as close friends than having a really tight ...how to put it....strings attached. You know, don't rock the boat if your relaxed and happily enjoying the day under the bright beautiful sun. God bless you both and enjoy all the sun bathing you can.
2007-01-09 13:34:13 · answer #6 · answered by florie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say follow your heart but if a marriage got bad enough to divorce then why you wanna do it again? Learn from your losses and move on.
2007-01-09 13:43:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait! You were obviously having mental health problems (which is NOT bad) and she couldn't deal with it....give it more time to see if she is in it for the long haul and willing to work past all the issues not just some..
Good Luck
2007-01-09 13:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U R crazy (not the bipolar part) - wouldn't let my ex wife get within 100 meters of me....and I wouldn't have sex with her even if I used your d1ck....
You guys had better get counseling before considering getting hitched again...
2007-01-09 13:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tuff one for an outsider to answer...The best thing to do is talk to her and tell her how you feel. get her opinion of how things are going. You don't have to be married to be together happily. Good luck!
2007-01-09 13:33:06 · answer #10 · answered by I♥Karma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋