I ran across an e-mail address w/password and I searched, and found my husband has an ad looking for a local date.
We've been married now for 25 years, and he says he loves me. What does this mean? Should I ask him about it? How if so.
2007-01-09 05:24:19 · 24 answers · asked by pamipamela 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you should ask him and then kick him out is not right for a married man to be advertising him self anywhere he doesnt have any respect for you, i am telling you this because i when thrue that allready he told me he wasnt doing any of that and it was all a lie he said it must have been his cousin i let him be and just follow him for a while and surprise i got him with another women, to my surprise she look like me i almost kill him her i just felt bad for her she didnt know he lie to her telling her he work long hours and live with a roomate some guys are liers dont let your love for him blind you****
2007-01-09 05:35:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOUR HUSBAND IS EMPLOYED AS A RESEARCHER FOR SOME TYPE OF PAPER TO GET RESULTS ON NEW AGE DATING, THEN IT IS COMPLETELY OBVIOUS ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW YOU FOUND IT. AFTER ALL YOU ARE HIS WIFE AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PRIVACY BETWEEN SPOUSES. YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 25 YEARS AND HE HAS NOT EVEN SHOWED YOU AN OUNCE OF RESPECT BY LEAVING IT AROUND WHERE YOU COULD FIND IT. I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU ASK HIM ABOUT IT AND MAKE SURE YOU PRINT OUT THE PAGE SO THAT HE CAN'T DENY IT. GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT BUT DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO PLAY YOU FOR STUPID. I KNOW IT MAY BE HARD TO DO BECAUSE 25 YEARS IS A LONG TIME. I MYSELF HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS AND I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO MUCH THAT I WOULD NOT TURN THE OTHER CHEEK, EVEN IF IT WOULD COST ME MY RELATIONSHIP. I WOULD RATHER TRY TO FIX THE PROBLEM AND IF NOT POSSIBLE MOVE ON RATHER THAN TO IGNORE THE PROBLEM AND PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY. MAYBE IF YOU DISCUSS IT NOW THE TWO OF YOU CAN REKINDLE WHATEVER IT IS THAT HE THOUGHT HE LOST WITH YOU. DO NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF AT ALL. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK.
2007-01-09 05:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sincere 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes ! Heres what u do! Dont tell him ,keep it quite or he will change stuff and u wont b able to get the info on the computer.The only way to be sure he wont cheat is to keep up on this! Remember if a guys going to cheat he will.and u may stop it this time but u wont the next,so play this cool! U may get hurt in this process but adjust yourself now is best.U already know he is in the testing the waters mode.So he stands at about 50% chance of cheating.If he does catch him in the act not accuse him ,I mean go to where they are to meet and catch him.Then get a divorce and take everything u can.Hire a attorney and get everything your entitled to .You put in 25 yrs and u deserve it ! Dont take him back ,he will do it again .He is at the age tht is common of 25 yrs married .One good thing is when u are done with him watch how he turns out! It will b not so good his life for sure .Not the money ,the woman they will b disapointing to him being single again.good luck email any info u need........
2007-01-09 05:38:31 · answer #3 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you were already sneaky by searching the email address, why dont you go to the same site, make up a fake name and answer his ad for a local date. Pick a time, set a date and meet him there with his 'walking papers'; legal documentation for a divorce. Yes, its scandalous but after 25 years you have to wonder when the scandal started. Is this the first offense?
2007-01-09 05:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by Nique T 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't ask him anything you don't want to know.
I would nail him to the wall on this one!! And I don't necessarily mean with anger. Find out what he is looking for and why he is looking. See if you can work out what the problems are; there are obviously some problems.
Another route may be to make sure you are going to be safe financially and emotionally, then throw him out.
See a lawyer, see a counselor - we strangers out here don't know enough about either one of you to give you the best advice.
You need to share these very real concerns with him and/or a professional.
2007-01-09 05:38:23 · answer #5 · answered by alphapeople 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Twenty-five years of marriage and the worthless no count man is throwing it all away.
What it means is - he wants strange sex and doesn't want to pay for it.
Are you willing to get STD's while he tries all the available sex partners in town?
This isn't his first ball game. Just the first one that you found out about.
Don't say a word about it. Gather all the money you will need and then tell him. Don't lose your head, just because he has lost his. I don't know your financial situation, but don't let him leave you flat broke.
Be intelligent about whatever you do.
2007-01-09 05:42:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you are going to think the worst until you find out what is going on. There are not too many good explanations for something like this, yet on the chance that there is you should come out and ask him. He might get defensive or upset because he may think you are spying on him...but hey 25 years of marriage...I believe that is allowed! A good friend of mine found out his new girl friend had an account for Match.com and her reason for having it was because she was looking up someone for a friend who was afraid to get on the site her self. So the choice is yours sweetie, ask and find out!
2007-01-09 05:37:27 · answer #7 · answered by Ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that you can get a lot more in the divorce procedings. Get yourself a good attorney. No really. If he's looking it's because something is lacking either with his self esteem or your ability to please him in some way. Are you predictable? Do you lack imagination? Do you do anything but complain? When is the last time you did something really exciting in the sex department. There are a number of reasons he may be looking but the easiest way to bring him back, if you want to is to be exciting.
2007-01-09 05:32:21 · answer #8 · answered by John C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely ask him . I have run across the same thing with my husband and I made him delete his profile , which doesn't mean anything, but at least he agreed with me and I told him if I ever found him on personals again I would leave him.
2007-01-09 05:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by lovely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find out more before you confront him on this. Even if it does mean opening up your own account and replying to his ad and see what you are really dealing with. This way when you confront him you have more info incase he denies that its not his or its old...things like that. I would also get a counselor in line for you or both of you to help through all this.
2007-01-09 05:43:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋