Situation with ex-wife, our son and my mother?

Question

My ex wife, Amy and I have decided to give our relationship another chance. She has moved back into my home. We sleep in the same bed. It feels really good to have her with me once again. We have realized that we still love one another and that we belong together. I have even considered asking her to re-marry me.
The problem is my mother. She currently babysits for our five year old son over night. She has threatened to take him from us if we continue with this. She is strictly opposed to the Idea of me being with Amy.
It has gotten to the point that I have considered switching from haveing my mother babysit to haveing a friend of Amy's watch him. Amy has even considered changing her work schedule so as to be home with him
I have told my mother that should she proceed with her plan to try to take our son from us and when she loses she will not only lose her grandson but she will lose me as well.
Amy is not a threat to him. The reason for our divorce was spousal neglect. my fault

Answer 1

Your mom is wasting her breath talking to you like that--she can go see any attorney in your state (I don't care what State you are in) and they will tell her that her rights as a grandparent are solely through you-----unless there is some documented (I mean actual documents--police reports, medical records) abuse, environmental neglect or something else devastating, she doesn't have a chance and no reputable attorney would take that poor woman's money on such a loser of a case.

You'd be wise to start keeping your child yourself at night --if she is talking to you like this, who knows what she is saying to your young child. And if she keeps your son b/c of your work schedules, one of you HAS to find a day job ASAP.

Simply put--unless your child is in harms way (i.e, you and Amy are unfit parents) she has no case. Good luck!

Answer 2

Wow she really hates the ex huh. first off I'm afraid is she feels this way I would not have her babysit because she may be talking trash in front of the kid which just puts him in the middle you don't want that. Next i think she must have a reason to feel so strongly about this, is there drug use going on? What are the 2 of you doing that makes her feel you are unfit parents? She would have to have somthing serious on the 2 of you in order to take your kid away. Perhaps if this is not the case the 3 of you could do some family counsling I hadd for your relationship to be ruined with your mom and if you and amy are both good parents then it is best for the kid that you are together. See if your mom would consider some counsling with you and amy to resolve these problems. good luck

Answer 3

It seems like you are on the right track. Your mother should be happy for you getting back with your wife. She has no right to judge your decisions regarding your relationship with Amy. Keep your mother at a distance, find another babysitter and strengthen your relationship with your ex-wife. Maybe your mother has her reason to be against your relationship with Amy, but it is your live and you and only you can decide what is best for you and your family. From what you write it looks like you have been pretty straight forward with your mother telling her what will happen if she doesn't stop to interfere so she shouldn't be surprise when you act. Plus, how in the world she plans on taking away your son from you?
Good luck!

Answer 4

First of all, I'm happy for you that ya'll are working things out and are happy again. Second, your mom can't take your son from you. Period. That's an empty threat, unless you are abusing him or your ex wife is or something. In the meantime, chances are good she's filling your son's head with rubbish about his mother and about you, which is not good either. I think you should let Amy's friend watch him, or she should rearrange your work schedule. It's sad that this is the situation, but don't let her ruin what you have worked hard at (I'm assuming) to get back.

Answer 5

If you and Amy have worked things out that's great. Hopefully you've had counselling to make sure you're on the right track with each other.
As for your Mother, you should probably find someone else to babysit for you. While you may think her threats are toothless, and she probably doesn't have a hope in hades to take your child away, there is a strong likelihood that she is badmouthing your and your ex-wife to your child. That can't be tolerated if it's happening.
It sounds as if you've made your choices, now go and enforce them.
Good luck.

Answer 6

Get your mother out of the picture immediately. Have Amy change her schedule so she can stay home with the tyke. Your mother shouldn't even be able to find a lawyer to take on a case regarding her getting custody of your child. Any person in their right mind would want you and Amy together. It is the best thing for your child and, obviously, the best thing for you.
Good luck.

Answer 7

Wow, first and formost... Amy and ur child come first before anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeee including ur mother.. wedding vows say "FORSAKE ALL OTHERS" that includes mom to.. Amy and ur child are ur IMMEDIATE family now and u need to protect them from all harm even if its by family members which it is hard to do.. i think u should find someone else to watch your child, atleast for the time being.. u and Amy need to focus on repairing ur marriage, and in order to do that u need to get rid of any and all negative influences will u do that , and unfortunately ur mom is doing that. Grandparents rights do not exsist she'd have one hell of a time proving that both of u are unfit.. so let her threaten but she doesnt stand a chance unless your child is in harms way..

Find other arrangements for your child, and work on ur marriage, mom's feeling and oppinions are of no concern right now she has the option of either being happy for u , and supportive, or being isolated from the situation all together but its her decision u have to do what is best for YOUR FAMILY and unfortunately that doesnt include ur mom, as i said before the moment u got married AMY became ur family and her and ur child are ur top priority , dont feel guilty for doing what is RIGHT and being a "REAL MAN" .. your doing what u should of been doing all along, making your wife and ur child ur world and protecting them from all harm mentally and physically.. so congrats for doing what most men cant do, working on being a "Real man"

Answer 8

I would really consider changing my work schedule or finding another caretaker for the child. I know your mother's intent may be good, but she may be feeding your child negative suggestions or opinions about you and your wife. Plus, taking charge of the situation and changing his caretaker without her having any say or control over it just might enlighten her...she may realize her position is grandmother, not mother.

But I would also suggest trying to talk to her and reassure her that your child is not in danger and that you have your child's well-being on the top of your priority list!

Best of luck, hope it works out for your son's sake.

Answer 9

I hate to rain on your mom's parade, but grandparents have absolultey no rights when it comes to their grandchildren. There is no law giving grandparents any kind of rights like that, unless the child was removed from your home due to abuse or something like that.

I suggest that you do some switching of job schedules so that your family lives under one roof. The only reason I could see your child sleeping elsewhere is if you both have night jobs. If either of you works days, you need to get your son living under your roof, not your mothers, tonight. That child is your responsibility not your mothers.

Answer 10

You and Amy are adults, and looks like in the process of re-conciliation. No one, NO ONE, can tell you what to do. Especially when it comes to the issue of your own child. Unless the child is unsafe with his mother, and that's for the courts to decide, and the custody/guardianship was granted to your mother via court order, I strongly suggest to get your controlling mother out of your life and try to put your family back together.
Good Luck.