I've felt sexual attraction for women since I was like 12 years old. It's definitely more than men. I'm a 21 year old virgin because I just don't think I can see myself having sex with a man and enjoying it. Whereas I've made out with women with no problems. I'd like to have a boyfriend though, there is this one guy who I think likes me and he's such a great guy and I want to give him a chance, but I don't know if I can enjoy anything sexual. I don't want to live like this... is there anything I can do to change this???
2007-01-09 05:15:36 · 38 answers · asked by Alicia 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you're not sexually attracted to men but are sexually attracted to women, I'd say you're a lesbian. You may still form very personal relationships with men, but they won't be the intimate, long term, sexual relationships it sounds like you're capable of maintaining with women.
2007-01-09 05:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There a lot of women out there that are like you, they like women and the like men.
It's called Bisexual.
Since you have never had sex with a man you don't know if you will like it or not, but you never will know until you try. But be aware that some men are better sex partners than others. I would advise you to let this guy know that your a virgin (remember losing your virginity isn't always the most pleasant sexual act and you will have to get used to male-female sex and it can be much more pleasant after losing you virginity) and that he should take his time and be open with him and let him know what turns you on, such as oral etc. Other wise it's libel to be just Bam, bam, thank you mam type sex and leave you unsatisfied. So don't let the first time turn you off male/female sex. Ideally, a three some with another female and a man would be best.
2007-01-09 05:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by Dale 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be able to make an educated choice how can you do that if you've only sampled one dish?
There's a first time for everything even if you decide that you don't like it after trying it with a man.At least you will have tried and formulated an answer based on both sides of the coin.
And if you do enjoy it then it doesn't mean you're straight,bi,or gay it just means right now.You haven't made a complete choice and you're experimenting until you find yourself.Until you can ask and answer questions about YOURSELF through experiences.And hey the more experiences you have the better to make a choice and decision when its TIME.
But you know obviously right now isn't that time.Now is the time for you to go ask and answer questions and LIVE.
Enjoy Yourself,
M.G
2007-01-09 05:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by Malia G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not being sarcastic...but you mentioned not wanting to live like this. I'd say the first step is stop kissing girls (IF that's not what you want). We all have temptations/vices...smoking, fidelity, cursing...some of these things don't effect some people but bother others. If the thought of being a lesbian bothers you, suppress the urge. If you're just unsure of what you want/or are talk it over with close friends.
If you aren't sure if you'lll enjoy heterosexual love making then maybe you are asexual. It may take awhile for desires for either sex to develop. It's okay to be a virgin and it's okay to not know. it doesn't make you either. Kissing a girl doesn't count as sexual contact...so I'd say you're not a lesbian either.
2007-01-09 05:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out with him and see where it leads. Having one date is not committing you to anything and you won't know your true feelings for sure until then. As for changing, why should you? you are you, a unique individual. If you are a lesbian, that is just part of who you are. If you find that one day you want to have sex with this guy or some other, why not. It is not like by saying you are a lesbian you can never have sex with a man.
2007-01-09 05:25:55 · answer #5 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean.But even you think you are a lesbian there is a way you can change it by asking for GOD's forgiveness,deliverance and strenght to overcome your homosexual tendency.It's really hard to be straight in the modern society where we are so exposed to subliminal effects of media propagating adoration of women's looks(lusts),women to women kissing or doing sexual stuff,etc.
Better avoid too attractive women or compromising, risky situation with a woman,such as sharing bed together,intimate
hugging,etc.
But keep your virginity until you get married with a man that you really like so you will have real enjoyment without any guilt!
2007-01-09 05:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by ranya j 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will never know if there is anything between you if you don't give it a chance. If you like this guy there is no problem going out to the movies or dinner or anything else. Do not feel as if anything sexual need to take place for you to enjoy his company.
2007-01-09 05:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by isingmore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you most likely will not enjoy sex with him for a few time regardless of if you are a lesbian or not. I say give hime a chance, and if after a while you really aren't attracked to him, you should evaluate your situation and decide what you want. If you decide you are a lesbian, there is nothing wrong with that. If you decide you like him, nothing wrong with that. Just be true to yourself., and don't try to be something you are not.
2007-01-09 05:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by Jon C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to think about who you want to spend the rest of your life with?
sexual feeling aside, (cuz i think that's what confuses alot of young people these days) try to picture your life 10 15 20 years down the road.
do you see yourself happy waking up next to a man or a woman?
could you see yourself falling in love with a man or woman?
like i said, put sexual feelings aside and try to ask yourself these questions, it may help you figure out who you are. also, dont worry about what others think, this day and age you need to look out for yourself and your own happiness. Plus, if you are gay, there is nothing you can do to change it. People are born gay, i firmly beleive that and it cannot be changed.
hope that helps and best of luck to you
2007-01-09 05:22:26 · answer #9 · answered by nicoles1504 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u have never have done anything with a man than How would u know. You could also just feel more comfortable and not as shy around females. Give a try. You can also pray about it if u are religious.
2007-01-09 05:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by lizzalicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋