i feel i am being overly friendly with people!!?

Question

I remain silent most of the time. But i am friendly to people around me in the class. That is i am always smiling, joking with them or talking to some or the other. Respond positively to other's comments and crticism's[( although when make fun of them they dont tolerate that(only few)]. But sometimes i feel i am being over friendly with people when they dont reciprocate on some things or are very serious towards me or sometimes some people dont talk to me for days and suddenly they will come up and talk to you, be nice to you. But it is my nature, that i cant stop talking and gossiping with people, i cant keep quite for long coz it makes me sad and left out!!

Do i suffer from attention deficit??? So whatever i do is to get attention. Like playing guitar, or keyboards or being talkative

Answer 1

This sounds to me like you might have suffered some sort of attention deficit when you were a child?

The need to compensate as an adult frequently carries the risk of over-compensating. Commonly we can share too much...we are over enthusiastic...and we expect people to understand us easier than they do.

I wouldn't want to go too far with this but there may also be an underlying dissatisfaction with your experience of affection.
We all want to love and be loved and this fundamental truth guides our actions and attitudes more than we realise sometimes.


ADDED;

Whoa...sorry i spoke...forget it.

Answer 2

Keep it up please. "Don't let the turkey's get you down." - so they say. I feel the same way most of the time. Not in school (been out for a while) but everywhere. I say hello to people, make eye contact, strike up a conversations with strangers to help spread the friendliness around. I've found that people have gotten so closed off to each other that if they were sitting in front of their computer they wouldn't have a problem chatting for hours yet put a real person in front of them and they think your nuts for talking to them. Have you seen the movie 'Crash'? It addresses this type of human anti-connectedness. It's a dying art that you have; and trust me, they wish they had the personal strength you have to step outside the 'comfortable' and find that the world and other people aren't as scary as they may have thought. I work with troubled teenagers and they often will make a comment about someone I was talking with, while I'm with them out in the community. The first question is usually -"Do you know that person? Or how do you know them?" They are just amazed that I would engage with a stranger on such a comfortable level to be joking around or even just crack a smile. But in the end they have seen first hand how to treat and meet other people, in a positive way that leaves both I (or them) and the other person in a better mood. Sometimes my response to their question is " No, but I do know them now."

Answer 3

The moment I read the part where you stated that you like talking and gossiping with people was when I saw the red flag go up.. I believe that you may be having this problem because you are gossiping. First of all, what makes you think gossiping is a good thing. It is not. When someone I am talking with starts gossiping, I immediately disengage from the conversation. I will not be a part of gossiping about other people. If positive things are said about someone, I share in being happy for that person and encouraging when I can, but if things are being said about someone that is not complimentary, I become uncomfortable and no longer want to engage in conversation with the person who feels it necessary to talk about others. Besides, they probably move on and gossip about you to the next person. Now why would you want to talk to someone who is going to do that?

The other thing, you mention that you make fun of people sometimes and they do not like it? (I believe that is what you indicated.) Well, just how are you doing that? Is it truly light hearted and only in fun? Or does it have any sort of maliciousness to it? Is it negative in any way? Embarrasing? Well, do you like it if someone treats you that way? Anytime you are dealing with anyone, try to be very consciencious of how you are treating them by putting yourself in their shoes.... Would you feel bad if they did the same to you, and if so... do not do it to them... In other words.... Do unto others as you would have them do unto you....

Answer 4

it would desire to not be which you're being overly friendly. in keeping with possibility this is the content fabric of your comments which would be offensive to three. attempt and bypass away out gossip, criticisms and making exciting of folk in conversations as some human beings will bypass off you, that's the way the cookie can crumble. instead in simple terms furnish suggestions if human beings ask on your help and attempt to be extra comfortable on your physique of strategies and much less assuming perhaps. proceed to be friendly and function a stable shaggy dog tale, in case you spot something isn't working, lose it and concentration on what does.

Answer 5

It looks to me that you want to be liked by everyone and that is not a bad thing, but to be liked you must understand others too. Needing to be liked by everyone could be associated with low self esteem which normally evolves from childhood situations, the way you were brought up etc. Personally I did rather everyone liked me but now thru life experience I realise you cant please everybody all the time and its just too hard to try anyway and the most important thing I learnt was that if they dont like me thats there problem and they are the ones missing out !(All my friends are lovely people, and all different too).
Some people dont like boisterous people and will shy away from them, others love to associate with people who make them laugh all the time even when it is at the expense of others.
I wouldnt bre trying too hard anymore, just let the people get to know the real u cos it could be that your putting on a show just for their sake rather than yours. Get used to enjoying your own company and loving your own space. You dont need people in it all the time.

Answer 6

You are an enigma aren't you, on the one hand saying you are silent most of the time yet on the other you can't keep quiet for long. You need to examine yourself and your motives, are you genuinely interested in others in which case you sound really nice to have in the class or do you speak only to be noticed, are you irritating do you think? Hopefully you are a geniune person who probably makes others feel good too.

Answer 7

It just sounds like you are a very nice and generous person who loves socializing. There's nothing wrong with that.

But you also mentioned that you can't keep quiet for long because it makes you feel left out. And that sounds like you would be in need of attention. Fear of being left out may mean that you are insecure and that you are nice to everyone because you need to feel that they like you, that their reactions towards you are positive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but you are indeed a bit different. Some people are solitary. Some of them are intentionally antisocial, and some of them don't like being alone and feeling left out, but they don't care that much for socializing either. They are just happy with what they have.

From what you say, it seems like you are insecure and you need attention to reassure yourself that you are worthy of it. You find ways to please people and try to connect with them because their attention makes you feel that you have the right to exist and be who you are. You may think I'm exaggerating, but that's basically the essence.

I am just like you, but I chose to act differently. In a way, we're very similar, but total opposites as well. I am pretty insecure and I need attention to feel that I'm worthy of it and that I deserve to have a social life. You chose to imply yourself more in various activities, to connect to people and get that attention. I chose to withdraw and ignore everything because I knew that in this way I wouldn't have to suffer if I wouldn't get the attention I needed. But I also am bothered by attention sometimes, so I just prefer to be left alone and watch it all from afar.

Answer 8

I think you experience feelings of low self-esteem. That means you will bend over backwards to please people because you need to feel wanted and needed. When someone gives you some attention you feel elated and that is why you cannot stop talking. You must discover your self worth and realise that you have a lot to offer, that does not mean that you have to become a people pleaser though.

Answer 9

Just be overly friendly with the fun ones, and the serious ones, ignore!!! Gossiping was my passtime in school, as well as talking, but talking to a deaf ear is pointless!!!!!

Answer 10

aw you sound so cute. Don't change for anyone. If you don't have a problem with it and aren't hurting anyone then who cares. I bet you'll make a lot of friends by doing that. I love friendly people who can carry conversation...versus snobby, boring people who can't hold a conversation at all.