My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years (broken up once). The first time around he was the "lovey dovey" one, but it seems like after that short break up I've become the "soft, lovey" one. He means the world to me. We have talked about getting married and having kids...we've even picked out names. I've never met anyone more perfect for me. We were so happy together.
Here lately, though, he seems distant. If we're fighting and I ask a simple question he answers "I don't know." Once I even asked him do you love me and he said "I don't know." He has hurt me many times by saying things like that. I would jump in front of a bullet for him and I don't feel like he would do the same for me. I text him all day long and he won't text me back. He never wants to hang out with me, even on his days off. It seems like he'll make time for everyone but me, although every now and then he'll ask me over to watch a movie. The story gets more complex but these are the highlights. Help!?
2007-01-09 04:58:19 · 11 answers · asked by yellowcard0o9 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your life is all around him, you got nothing of your personal and something what belongs only to you. You didn't even noticed how you became a boring and annoying person for him.
Forget about him for awhile, get interested about yourself - learn more, exercise, see your friends...take care about your soul, mind and body. You'll see the results later. Get out of this "the same boat" for lonely and sad women. Fight for your happiness!
2007-01-11 09:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We humans are a very complex lot. Most of us chase what we don't think we can have. But once we get it, no matter what it is, it seems to loose it's fascination.
Men and women do this. Neither sex is immune to it.
It would seem that as long as your boyfriend was chasing you he was excited about it and always went out of his way to make you feel good. It is part of the mateing ritual we all do.
But after the break up, and you really should look closely at why that happened and who instigate it, you then became the pursuer and not the pursued.
It may very well be that now that you have become serious he is no longer interested. He doesn't want to hurt you to your face so by not returning any attempt to contact him he may be telling you to find someone else.
When you ask if he loved you and he said "I don't know". What more can be said.
While none of us can truly give you a magic answer what you should try to do is not try to contact him anymore. If he should then try to contact you at some point make it difficult to do. I know this will be very hard on you but it seems to me you have no choice. If he should start chasing you again make sure of the ground rules before becoming attached again.
I wish you well.
2007-01-09 05:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and he keeps changing his mind. First thing he said he wanted to take a break, the next day he said he didn't mean to say that, he still loves me, basically I'm confused. Right now, he said he doesn't love me anymore, is he playing with my heart or his ego? He doesn't care about me and I'm really sad, I can't stop thinking about him. But I think he has stop. I have deleted all of our picture in instagram, facebook but he still has my photo in his instagram. It takes him a few weeks or maybe months for him to reconsider our relationship? Should I just forget about him and move on with someone better?
2016-05-22 23:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your time together needs to be relaxed and pleasant. Keep the mood positive when you're together.
Maybe you're forcing him to spend too much time with you and talking too much about the relationship when you're together.
'Let's talk about the relationship' are the words a man dreads hearing most. It means he's in for a discusion lasting way too long, saying things he doesn't understand at all and where everything he says is misinterpreted and he's in the wrong no matter what he says. Do I sound bitter? Keep smiling.
Sometimes people think that seeing each other 3 nights a week is good, so 5 is even better and 7 is perfect. This isn't true. He needs time to see his male friends, do guy-things, watch football and relax over a beer.
When you're together, just talk very little (about 1 tenth as much) and just about what you're doing together, not about your relationship and whats going on inside your head.
In arguments, people often react to what they think something that was said means to them (based on memories, speculation, etc), not what the speaker meant. Ask calmly without sounding accusing what he means by something before saying what you think or feel about it.
If you think something like 'I want to see my friend Dave on Friday' (without you) means 'I don't love you any more', ask him if that is what he meant. Often he'll say it means nothing of the sort.
If you don't mind being a bit old-fashioned, remember 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach'. Cook him a meal or two. Pasta and a bottle of wine is nice. Ask for tips on here if you need it. This shows him there are advantages to being with you that he hadn't thought of.
When things are OK, actually ask him how much time he likes to spend with you each week and just accept it. If its not as much as you like, it doesn't mean its going to be the same amount forever.
2007-01-09 05:15:44 · answer #4 · answered by ricochet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The both of you need a vacation from each other not breaking up but just a vacation. I know it's an old saying but it so true, "absence makes the heart grow fonder".
You could have spent too much time together and you need that time off to make your hearts grow stronger.
I wish you the best of luck and happiness.
2007-01-09 05:08:58 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to slow down. He may feel overwhelmed by all the text messages and attempts to be a part of his life. If you stop all those text messages and wait for him to contact you, maybe things will change for the better. If it doesn't bring him around, it wasn't meant to be!
2007-01-09 05:09:14 · answer #6 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hows your sex-life? now that you are the "lovey-dovey" one as ou put it, are you not the freak you once were? take a look at that, and even if ou think its OK, try something new and spice it up a bit
2007-01-09 05:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by Jason D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like u and I are in the same boat I wish us the best of luck !
2007-01-09 05:03:01 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Virgo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people change, just remember that whatever things you are experiencing right now is part of growing up, accept facts and just don't let yourself dwell on it too much and learn to move on.
2007-01-09 05:06:50 · answer #9 · answered by asiatix 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's not as into you anymore.. maybe he's growing tired of you? maybe you need to find a new boy?
or maybe give him some more space..
he can't miss you if you dont' leave him alone :)
2007-01-09 05:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋