How do you rebuild a relationship after three years when the two people say they want to work it out but each person is waiting for the other to change first. We are both looking for that pat on the back when we do something the other wanted and we still argue or try to make a point everytime we talk about any subject. I am trying to make the first move but it is hard being the woman, cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, working and wanting some attention and feeling rejected. I am confused.
2007-01-09 04:39:14 · 3 answers · asked by Marcella D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would like to hear from men too.
2007-01-09 05:00:21 · update #1
A great website for you is listed below. It has divorce in the title, but it's actually about getting a relationship back togethr.
What is takes from you both is acceptance of the other. Each of you accepts the other, and you love them for the person they are. Also, it's important to know that your happiness is inside of you, it is not provided by another person or thing.
You mention feeling wanting attention and feeling rejected. A good book for you both to read is The Five Love Languages. You can both learn to love each other in ways that each of you understands.
I would recommend couples counseling, it can do wonders and bringing couples back together. Good luck!
2007-01-09 04:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to rebuild a relationship at first depend on what has happened and what you hope to change. You just have to determine what you want to change and work on it pieces at the time, you are obviously not going to work it out over night. Since you are both wanting work it out talk about things you want to work and start with one and work on it and go down the line until you have gotten to everything you have wanted work on, relationships do take work but if you are willing it can work out with communication, trust , honesty, and being loyal. Arguing sometimes about what points you are trying to get across can escalate a fight and make matters worse. Rebuilding is what you put into it and what you want to get out of it, but it will take time. Just do the best you can and be patient, and work through things one piece at the time like a puzzle
2007-01-09 12:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its' hard, but sometimes guys just need to be TOLD EXACTLY, step by step, what and Why you are upset, and what you think you Need.
start from there. figure out a way to say it to him calmly and directly. do NOT wait for him to "observe" and "assume" that u need attention. TELL HIM u need it. and that u feel rejected. most likely than not He thinks he is doing all he can, not realizing that his actions are Negatively affecting you. spell it out, do not feel as if u are "begging" for attention. let him know that you feel that u are begging for attention, and he will try to do something about it. if he doesn't, then u might have to let it go. but most likely than not, if u want to give him a chance, u have to start from the Basics and show him, by example of his words and actions, point out the times u've felt rejected. and ask him how he feels, and what You can do to help the situation. more likely than not he will respect u for your opinions and thoughts and Ability to handle it calmly and rationally, not emotionally. good luck
2007-01-09 12:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋