My husband of less than a year has been cheating. His main addiction is oral sex and solicits it from friends (mainly ex-girlfriends and ex-wife). He continually text messages & calls NUMEROUS girls. Recently, one of the girls came forward to tell me what was going on. She felt guilty but didn't know how to tell me, since I just found out I was pregnant. She thought I would be mad at her, but she was bearing all secrets. After I found out the info from her and her friend who he had done the same, other girls came out of the woodwork to tell me what he was doing. Then, I received logs of text messages and calls that REALLY told the true story. Explicit messages, etc. Evidently, this went on in his previous marriage and now into ours! I never had an ounce of mistrust in my mind.... I was BLINDSIDED!! Now, I'm very hurt and over the HORRIBLE ANGER! I left after I confronted him with the hard evidence and he claims its all a joke! right!? we r in counseling. Should I go back & work it out?
2007-01-09 04:33:50 · 46 answers · asked by apn2005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't. You are still in what should be your honeymoon stage. That is as good as it gets. If he can't be faithful then, it looks pretty hopeless to me. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-09 04:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
hummmmmmm let me get this straight.. All these girls have shown proof and come out of the wood work to say they've been having sex with ur husband, Your pregnant, and when u come out with the truth, and bust him he trys to say that it was all a hoax.. just a joke????
Ok Your husband is incredibly stupid u should leave him based just on that alone.. but nonetheless.. Hard to believe that so many "women" would go in on a HORRIBLE joke as to tell a woman that her husband has been cheating on her.. so if so many woman say its true then its true, he has just been busted and he couldnt think of anything better then its a JOKE..
But if ur willing to buy into the JOKE theory, what kind of man would not only play such a horrible joke on his wife, has such a lack of disrespect for her, AND his unborn child to hurt someone so badly with a horrible joke that could of gotten u so worked up and upset that could of caused u to lose your baby????????? U want a man that would either cheat?? and or play such a horrible joke that would not only break your heart but risk ur childs life?? because he in fact did that even if u didnt miscarry he could of very well of caused u too putting u through so much ..
Girl im usually for keeping a marriage together but he doesnt love you, im sorry but he doesnt.. he's a little boy trapped in a mans body.. and no ones putting a gun up to his head and forcing him to have sex or oral sex with other women, and the "addiction " is just a excuse.. he'll keep doing this to u , and he has zero respect for you and your feeling and ur child ur carrying..
He will only continue to hurt u, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually he'll do it again.. next time he'll just hide it better..
2007-01-09 04:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest if you have been married a year and he is doing this and he has done it before no. Don't give him a chance, enroll yourself in counselling and figure things out for yourself. My dad had an affair on my mom after 15 years of marriage, they worked it out and it took some time but there were also three children involved. My parents now share a love that I could only dream to have. But it took years of work. Sit down with a counsellor (a friend would be too emotionally involved and not give you honest answers) and start the healing process. You want to raise your child in a loving home and that can be with or without your husband. i know that this is going to be hard but you have to think of the child growing inside you as well. Good luck and email me if you need anything!!!
2007-01-09 04:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
nope...once the trust is broken, the relationship's never the same. I know folks out there seem to thin that things can be fixed, and some can ignore it rather than deall with it. It's just too much work and misery with very little chance of a payoff. (I can speak from experience) If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have given it another chance. It just wasted years off my life that i can't get back now...years that i may have found a loyal partner and happiness.
for what it's worth...
2007-01-09 04:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by brainiac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! what a jerk. I'm going through something similar but not like this. You have to think- it wasn't just one time..not just one girl..and he didn't even give a damn that you are pregnant- and you totally have enough evidence. omg what an assh***. I think its just way too much information and it would be too hard to get over it if it was me..I know your pain but it's only been 1 year of marriage!?! wth....get out while you can- don't get caught up in the same situation 2 years and 2 kids later...he had already done this with his previous marriage??!? ughh...jerk!
2007-01-13 03:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by LILIANA S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a perfect example of a kid in a candy store...
You know some people just shouldn't be married. I am so sorry for you. You have your baby to think of now.
If you think it's worth working out by all means try. But he's already been married before how many chances does he need to get marriage right?
You do what ever you decide. It never hurts to try. But remember this do think about the baby's future.
2007-01-09 04:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not go back. He has proven himself for what he was in his last marriage, and now again with you! Do you need to get a disease that will KILL you before you wake up? You aren't even married a year, and he didn't cheat with just ! woman, it sounds like it was several! You picked a bad person to marry-he is a bad man, and you will not change him.
He could change himself if he was really interested in doing that, but from his reaction to your confrontation, it doesn't sound like he's very interested in doing that. His actions tell you all you need to know. Don't make your child live with someone like that.
2007-01-09 04:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling isn't helping your situation if he says it was all a joke. Part of counseling is about coming forth with the truth and working forward together from that point on. I mean part the goal of counseling for you is to have trust again for your hubby, but if he isn't willing to help you get to that place, then I wouldn't believe that he is taking anything in his life seriously and would think seriously about a separation until he can accept responsibility and want to really change his behavior or divorce if necessary. Blindside him with this. Get tested for all STD's.
2007-01-09 04:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with doing individual counseling. He's only setting you up for this time & time again & you will find this out through counseling. Just do not allow yourself to think that there was something wrong with you because that is pathetic. He is the one that made these choices repeatedly while you were pregnant. Then take him to the cleaner financially. Hit him where it hurts the most!!
2007-01-09 04:44:10 · answer #9 · answered by COblonde 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! He has problems/issues and he needs to seek professioanl help, not just marriage counseling. He needs a sex addidiction doctor. That is very strange for a grown man to be doing. I would never speak to him again. You deserve much better than a freak show like that. Calling ex-girlfriends and ex-wife for oral sex. SICK! My best advice to you is to run and run FAST! Do not let this idiot bring home herpes to you! What kind of girls are they anyways for going along with it? They are as sick as he is, especially if they knew he was married.
2007-01-09 04:40:29 · answer #10 · answered by MG 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say no. Why waste your time. He obviously has issues and do not go back just because your pregnant. Having a child is not going to stop this behavior and you will not be happy. Since he's done it before he will probably do it again. Save your self some heart break and move on.
2007-01-09 04:39:58 · answer #11 · answered by silkymille 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋