Newborn to stay in house with cold?

Question

My son is almost a month old and has a stuffy nose. I feel that he should be at home until he is well or atleast until his cold gets better. My b/f has a controlling mother who wants everything her way. She wanted the baby to be at her house only 2 weeks after he was born because of family commin from NY 4 hours away, I didn't want to but I made and exception because they live so far away and when they see him again he would be a year old. Now my newborn has a cold . I usually go over to their house on the weekends, but she thinks the weekends are for her which are 4 his father and his dad comes to my house if he wants to see him before that. My b/f's mother is upset with me because I wanted my son to stay home until he feels a little better because she feels a cold is not a reason for me to stop her from seeing her grandchild. Another reason I don't want him there while he has a cold is because she refuses to turn on the heat it feels like a icebox over there. Do you think im wrong?

Answer 1

I think you should do what you think it's best. Don't let your Inlaws push you around. Once you let them they will not stop.
Stand up to them. I think you should stay home as well.

Answer 2

well, mommy! and yes, YOU are the mommy, it is your decision. I also had a fairly overbearing mother in law. If you and your b/f have an agreement, then she needs to allow the two of you, as the parents of your son, to make those decisions. if i were you, i'd start that pattern NOW. make her get used to it. (and tell your b/f too, that when he has the baby, HE is the boss--not your mother in law. he needs to learn to assert his authority as well.)

now, with that mind, if your son is only suffering a stuffy nose, he might not have a cold. it's common for newborns to have stuffy noses a couple of weeks after birth, due to ejection of mucous which has previously built up in his system. so don't freak out too awfully much. this same thing happened with my son, but he didn't have a cold at all. on the other side of the coin, if he has other symptoms, or is just generally uncomfortable, it's probably best that he stay with his mother--YOU are his security right now. and if you don't feel comfortable sending him over there in this state, don't. i mean, seriously, what is your mother in law going to do? she has no power.

this IS going to happen again, so establish your position as mommy NOW. otherwise, every decision you try to make will be circumvented by an overbearing grandparent, whether it's your in laws or your parents. do not allow anybody to doubt your position as mommy.

basically, you and your boyfriend need to do some reverse parenting; you and he need to present a unified front to his parents--and your parents as well, should they get involved with your parenting--that they are welcome to be involved in the child's life (of course) but that the two of you make the decisions. defend each other when that is contested. and if all else fails, smile, nod, and go about your business the way YOU think is best for your son!

Good luck, and congratulations on your son :)

Answer 3

It's your baby. How could you be wrong about what you want for him? You can't be. Your Mother-in-Law is wrongfully taking for granted that her grandson is available for her to see at her discretion. You have the final say. It's your child, and I bet you're the one who has to take the trip, right? I think you're making the best decision by keeping the baby at home. It was recommended to my wife and I that our son have no visitors for 6-8 weeks. Baby son needs time to build up his immune system, but first has to recoup from the cold now. Being around so many people could be the reason why he has a cold in the first place. The added stress of so much travel could just weaken his already-fragile immune system -- the only weapon in his arsenal against the cold.

You have to put your foot down. If his immune system is compromised by the cold, he won't stand a chance if Pneumonia stops by for a visit.

Answer 4

I don't think you are wrong at all. You know what is best for your child. Being in a freezing cold house isn't going to help his cold either. If she wants to see him, have her come to your house and make sure people are washing their hands before picking him up. Besides that there is the risk of RSV (respiratory syncytial virus). RSV is highly infectious and almost all babies get it before the age of 2. Many babies (and most older children) get only a slight cold from RSV.

However, some babies with RSV develop potentially serious lower respiratory infections such as bronchiolitis (infection of the small breathing tubes in the lungs, also known as “chest cold”) and pneumonia (lung infection). These infections are especially dangerous in babies who were born prematurely, have lung or heart problems or certain other chronic illnesses. Your baby can get RSV at any time of year, but it is most common from fall to spring.

Symptoms of RSV usually last between 7 and 14 days. Most babies with RSV do not become seriously ill. However, a small number of babies do become very sick, and may need to be treated in the hospital with oxygen and, in some cases, with antiviral drugs.

Answer 5

first of all they are not even your inlaws b/f is not husband. so who cares.. babys so young can die of bronchitos, phnemonia.. and just the common flu. His immune system is not like ours and you cannot just give him tylenol or anything. A baby should remain in doors for 6 wks. after that they will need to come to you. Keep hand sanitizer at the door and have them remove shoes when going in home. PERIOD! If you lose him or his family doesnt like you because you are trying to prevent your new born son from either dying or ending up in the hospital well screw it. Your life is no longer about you having a boyfriend, or a possible husband, or whatever.. its about the baby. So if you lose him, you lose him. Atleast you have a healthly baby, who didnt have a choice to be born or not. Unfortunatly, grandma sounds selfish.. and you do since this is even a question. You should know nothing comes before baby! Not even boyfriend.

Answer 6

No your not wrong!!! Your that childs mother and you are the one that has to care for your sick child. You have every right to keep your child home while the child is sick. You could invite her over to visit while the child is sick. I would have your partner talk to the mother and let her know that you are not being mean. You just want the baby to get better!
Sounds like your a good mom. Follow your instints, stand your ground, your the one that has to get up in the night to take care of your child.

Good luck with the whole situation...

Answer 7

You have to do what you think is best for your own child. She is not the mother, she has not right to control what happens to your child. Let her be angry, but stand your ground so that she understands that you really are in charge and won't let her push you around. If she wants a relationship with her grandchild she'll get over it and respect your wishes.

Answer 8

I was told by my pediatrician 2 weeks. However, I personally would not want to take a 3 week old to six flags. It is loud, a ton of people, germs everywhere. At 3 weeks I might run errands with the baby but not Six flags. If you are comfortable with it go for it! I am sure the baby will be fine.

Answer 9

Keep the baby home!! It's hard, but you need to become confident in your own motherly instincts. You are the expert on your baby. No one spends as much time as you have and as you do with him. You are doing what is best for your baby. You are keeping him home from errands, recreational walks...not just her.
Thank her for her concern for your son and invite her to come over. You are now setting the ground work that you will likely have to live by forever...
My mother-in-law gave me horrible advice all the time...put the baby on his tummy wrong-o. She is a lovely woman who's heart was in the right place. I just smiled and said "You may be right..."
The items I couldn't deal with I expected my husband to step up to the plate and deal with as we are partners in our children's life.

Answer 10

why cant she come to your house? If the baby is only a month old you shouldnt really be taking him out of the house when its cold. only if you have to take him to the dr.s. so just tell her hes to young right now to be going out in the cold and spending time in her ice box!

Answer 11

No way! Your decision is perfectly justified! Wow, that would really piss me off if i had to deal with a mother in law like that! Sorry- just kinda felt your frustration there. Anyway, tell her that he is YOUR baby not hers, and YOU make decide what is best for him...