She is estranged from her husband but, still wants to be close to his family. She worked hard cooking them a big dinner (about 8 of them). They didn't even help with the dishes, then all left to go on a daytrip the next day, meeting at her house but, she was not invited to go with them as she used to be. She would do this again. Why does she put up with this?
2007-01-09 04:13:26 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She was taught as a child that she didn't matter, but only what she did for others made her important. She is a people-pleaser, and loses herself trying to control people by pleasing them.
Lots of women, especially, got this message through their family upbringing, or by watching their mothers do the same thing. Women, also, are generally programmed to help, care for, and nurture people around them.
The most important thing about you watching this is to remember you can't control her behavior, and to learn by watching that you don't want to live this way. Don't try to save her--take good care of yourself, be a role model to her, and she might see what she's missing by wasting her efforts on these people.
If she had children with this husband, and is being nice to her in-laws, it may have a very practical purpose, of keeping her children in touch and engaged with their relatives. This is important for children, their self-image, and their family networking, and she may be self-less (in a good cause) so that they will be close with all their relatives.
2007-01-09 06:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she feels as if shes weaker than them
2007-01-09 12:20:51 · answer #2 · answered by Mimi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋