Stay at home moms and loneliness? Affairs?

Question

I'm a stay at home dad...I work from home and take care of the kids. My wife works out of town most of the time. Since I stopped working outside of the home, I don't seem to have much of a social outlet on a day-to-day basis and it gets pretty lonely. I have been very tempted to have an affair. Are there stay-at-home moms out there who feel the same way? How do I make some sort of social contact with mothers who are in the same position as me?

Jeez...some of you people read WAY too much into a question. I was just wondering if women felt the same way. Its weird being a stay at home MAN, because I don't know any other stay at home MEN. Also, there is sometimes something emasculating about it...when I worked I had women flirt with me all of the time...I wasn't even tempted. Now, it just feels funny for a guy sometimes in this position....you feel less potent or something...I don't know. I spend a ton of time with my kids and I do everything in the world to make them and my wife happy, I just feel like the odd man out when it comes to daily interaction with others. The other moms at school, etc., all seem to know each other while it seems that everyone looks at me like I am strange because I am a stay at home DAD.

Answer 1

You're not alone. My husband felt the same way when he was in your position and I feel that way now to (our roles have reversed for now).

I actually felt like the odd "mom" out this past summer taking my boys to football because believe it or not 1/3 of the parents there were dads!! I was so surprised but think its very admirable not many men would do something like that. (at least not some of the ones i have known would!)

Depending on your kids' ages maybe you could get a little more involved in their activities - being a "room dad" if they are in school, volunteering, etc.

Maybe you could start a group on yahoo for stay at home dads & moms - that would be a way to contact people in your situtation and allow others to vent their feelings as well!! :)

Answer 2

I'm a stay at home mom and I get lonely sometimes, but it would never solve anything to have an affair!!! Then I would be lonely and guilty and probably single. It doesn't add up. Try joining a gym or volunteering with the kids somewhere. It will get you out in the community and keep you from doing something you will regret later.

Answer 3

Well forget about having an affair ''slap that idea from your brain'' and do what most homemakers do...depends on the ages of the children, sink your time into your children, sports/dance classes or just taking them to the park etc..you will not only be an awesome husband but a dad whom your children can look up to.
Your wife must be so proud of you, not many men can cope with being at home.
Make the most of the time you have with your loved ones while you can, life is to short.
All the best for you and your family.

Answer 4

Don't put yourself in a position to have an affair. I'm sure there are many women out there that feel that way. But how lucky of you to be able to work inside the home and be with your kids!!!

If you truly feel the need for social interaction, join a mommy's day out group, do play groups 2ce a week for a couple of hours each and take that opportunity to go to the gym or meet a friend for lunch. Take up a hobby that doesn't include being unfaithful to your wife.

If you don't feel any of this will work, maybe you need to go back to work outside of the home for your social interaction.

Answer 5

You are looking for trouble and more temptation by being put in contact with mothers who feel the same way. You should look for fathers who feel the same way. If your wife has all that time away how does she feel? Why hasn't she said something to you about loneliness.

If I was in your position I would have to say that I would ask myself how important is it that she stays in that job. Then I would consider using the phone to at least talk about sex to her. If this doesn't work and she doesn't try to help your needs I would have to say masturbate. I guess the last thing I would consider is leaving her and taking the kids but that would not be a fair reason for leaving.

You are lucky to be home with your kids because they are small only once and they know you best. I stay home with my kids too but my husband does come home everyday. I guess I know how you feel especially after a stressful day. Talk to her about it and see how that goes. Then other alternatives are taking the kids to the park and talking to the parents there.

Answer 6

I'm a stay at home mom, but I don't feel any kind of temptation like that because I dearly love my husband. I may be old fashioned, but I would beg you not to do anything that would hurt your relationship with your family. Even if you don't care enough for your wife that you would cheat on her, I hope you would care enough for your kids not to put them through a potential divorce. You ask how you can have social contact with mothers....why mothers? Why not stay at home dads like yourself who can sympathize and take your mind off your needs, but not break up your marriage? I taught preschool for years, and one of the kids' dads was a stay at home dad and he was so involved with making his kids' world full of fun and adventure and attention that it didn't seem like he had time to worry about what he wanted to do for fun. I hope you won't take this criticism the wrong way, but you need to focus on your wife and family more. Social stuff is overrated....please don't have an affair--they don't deserve that.

Answer 7

Don't you dare cheat. Of course it's lonely. I work full-time and my husband is only home on the weekends, and I would never cheat. What would you do if she was overseas serving our military. Trust me, that's a much worse situation. My husband did that, too, and was in the police academy not long after he came back (only home on weekends) and then he always worked midnights (came home at 7 am) or evenings (3 pm to 1 am), so I never saw him. I worked during the day and had our child at night by myself. Now, he left for the police academy again last night (for 6 months home on weekends) and will be moved all over the state for 4 months after that so we can't go with him and he will come home when he can.

So, nope, I don't feel sorry for you. Start thinking with the head on your shoulders and not the one in your pants. You chose this life just as she did and you can deal with it. If you want to get out of the house, get a babysitter and go back to work.

Answer 8

No No! You don't want to cheat maybe you should talk to your wife about spending some time @ home, tell her what you need from her as your wife and partner. So many couples assume that our mates know what we need and want and they really don't cause there not mind READERS!!!!!!!!! Once you cheat you have to walk around in Shame and Guilt don't think you wife won't be able to tell something is wrong that's your WIFE trust me it's NOT WORTH IT! Yes I'm feeling you, Since you made that choice to stay @ home then maybe you should find activities that won't get you in TROUBLE cheating isn't one of them!

Answer 9

There is loneliness and there is looking to hook up. You are obviously more than lonely or you would only be looking for a friend or companion with similar interests. You are looking to cheat on your wife which is disgusting. If you dont want to be married, then get out but to do not cheat and hurt your children and the woman who loved you enough to marry you.

Answer 10

Get a grip on reality dude!
Your wife loves you enough to support you and you kids, drive hellishly long miles to do so, misses out on quality Mommy time, and all you can think of is how you can reward her by trying to find another woman who can live up to your expectations?

Where is your head? Have you even considered her feelings?

Try this, get web cams, and share your daily times together over the net, you can have kids time in the later day, and mommy/daddy time later in the evening. With your wife, not someone elses!