I'm 33 and my husband is 42. We have a group of friends that we've been freinds forever with, but in the last few years have seriously outgrown them. They are all bunch of pot heads and we are over it. I feel guilty every time they invite us to do something (always at someone's house, so they can hang out and smoke weed all night) and we have to keep coming up with new ways to say "no thanks". we wouldn't mind so much if they wanted to go out and do something, but none of them have any money, since they spend it all on weed. I'm trying hard not to judge them; I really just wish they would grow up and get their respective heads out of their respective a$$es. Anybody ever dealt with this kind of thing, and if so, how did you handle it? Also, any ideas on where to meet new friends as an adult? We have about 3 freinds that we still hang out with, but we don't have kids and we're still kinda young to be such homebodies, ya know?
2007-01-09 03:30:42 · 5 answers · asked by divinationjones 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Be honest with them. If they are really friends they will understand. I personally would tell them that I am past the "weed" phase and want to focus more on living my life rather then smoking it away. Sometimes people need tough love.
2007-01-09 03:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos for you for moving on from people like that. I've been in situations similar for different reasons. I just contiually keep declining offers to get together, eventual they will stop calling. Unless you just want to be out right mean and tell them you really don't want to hang out with them due to the fact that all they do is smoke pot and you rather enjoy other things. If you just opt out by decling offers or "forgetting" to call them back to make plans you can probably keep things on a friendly basis.
As far as meeting new people, try meeting people through joining clubs or your church/temple.
2007-01-09 03:39:54 · answer #2 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they have been your friends forever, you don't want to completely stop talking to them. I would respectfully tell them that you would like to spend time with them but do do want to be around them when they are smoking weed. Hopefully they will eventually see that they are spending less time with you and try to make different types of plans with you, so you can still be friends. I understand this situation so well, a lot of my friends never "grew up" either. The real friends will stick around and find different things to do so you can still spend time together. As sad as it is, some of them will never grow up and you may lose some friends.
Making new friends can sometimes be difficult. Most of me and my husband's friends are our work. We have found people that have the same interest as us. We started the friendships by invited them to dinner to get to know them outside of work. We have found this is the easiest place to meet new friends and as you get to be better friends with them they will hopefully introduce you to more people that you can possibly be friends with.
2007-01-09 03:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by Brian and Kari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gradually stop returning phone calls, say your busy when they ask to hang out and eventually they WILL get the point. Sometimes you just have to break up with friends
2007-01-09 03:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't go and explain that you have left that life behind and it hard to see them destroying their lives. Just start hanging out where normal people hang out. The bar, zoo, mall, games..
2007-01-09 03:50:15 · answer #5 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋