Do you think there is more to this than I know?

Question

I just meet my husbands family over the holidays for the first time after we've been married for three years. We couldn't afford to see them sooner because of his ex-wife always taking us to court. I meet the family and find out that My husbands ex-wife made a 16 hour drive to see her ex- in-laws after 14yrs of never contacting nor seeing them. She has been divorced from my husband for 13 yrs and after he married me she goes to see his family. We find out that my husbands brother has been staying in contact with her after her visit two yrs ago. He( my new brother in law) has been married to his high sweet heart for 21 years. Dont you think its strange for the ex to make contact with her ex in laws after 14yrs and why is it that she has stayed in contact with my husbands younger brother these past two years. Give me your in put on what reason she would have other than just trying to hurt my husband and I.

There are three girls two who are grown and married one who is 19 was living with us but move make with her mother 2yrs ago . And she did not take her daughter to see her family she went along and left her daughter behind.

The ex was never close to the in laws from the begining. They live out of state while married and she wasn't liked much by the family because of her cheating behaivor against my husband when they were married. The youngest two arent even his but he claims them as his own. She has no ties to them in 14yrs Why NOW?

Answer 1

It sounds like your brother in law should have the nick name of chef, because he is stirring the pot. But just remember the difference between in laws and out laws are that out laws are wanted.

If you and your husband are secure in your relationship then you have to remember that you can not contol what other people do or say.

the ex is sounds like has some serious issues but then again so does your brother in law. Like I said before if you hubby are secure in your relationship dont sweat the small stuff.

Answer 2

I am not certain why you should be feeling hurt at all, if this ex is not trying to make contact with your husband (her ex) except if they had children together then why would it even bother you! Maybe your sister-in-law should be more concerned about this communication between your husbands ex and her husband.

Some people who were married before had a very strong connection to the family and do in fact stay in contact with each other. Now as to why it took 14 years only your husband's ex knows for sure. Maybe she is trying to get the scoop on you and is plotting and planning to take your husband back to court for some reason and needs all the amino she can get.

I really wouldn't worry about it to much unless it starts to over flow into your marriage as in the ex calling your husband all the time. I would lay more odds on something is up with her and your husbands brother but this is just guessing and nothing more.

Answer 3

I think that you are reading way to much into all of this. If they have been divorced for 13 years then you should have nothing to worry about. And it really isn't your business if your new brother in law stays in contact with the ex or not. Yep, a little strange, but maybe she really did stay in contact with the family and you or your husband had no idea, no one told you or him before now because there wasn't a need and they didn't want to hurt you. Don't worry about this after 13 years why would she be a threat? And if she wanted him back she would have most probably tried to contact him before now.

Answer 4

You have just wrote the exact story of my life, although I don't have a wife. My creepy ex has stalked my niece and nephews on my space, she's been calling my little brother for a while. She's the one married for over 13 years and has 2 kids, lives in the cow and cotton pastures of North La. Talk about changed completely. Let herself go. Chews tobacco and kills animals even though they have money to buy food. She's easily brained washed, she speaks like a red neck even though she grew up in New Orleans. She talked with me for about 3 weeks during Christmas and told all, including that she still loves me. I know it's not true. She's not right in her head, everyone can see this. I feel disturbed about the way she is. Her husband is perfect for her, he's not all there upstairs either. they take joy in hunting and killing innocent, beautiful animals, very sick to me. I'll tell you what, put your foot down. Get her out of your mind and live as though she doesn't exist. Don't let it bother you. God sees and hears all...

Answer 5

It'll be better to leave that issue alone unless you are absolutely positive that there is something more. Focus on you and your husband's problems and see how you can live with each other and integrate into the family. Just ignore this lady and also have your husband commit to ignoring her. Ignoring someone is the best way to get that person to leave you alone.

If you react to her stunts, you are just encouraging her to do more. What your brother in law and her are doing is really their responsibility and their lives to deal with. Don't let them affect you and your husbands relationship, WHICH IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. Remember focus on whats important. The rest are just petty issues.

Answer 6

Do they have children? My husband's ex-wife is always around (they have 2 kids), I found it weired at first, but she was always real close to his family even his brothers before I came into the picture. It's definitely strange that your hubby's ex-wife happened to make a visit at the same time after all those years, I wouldn't trust her.

Answer 7

You know I still stay intouch with my ex boyfriends family because I have a son with him..I mostly talk to his mother and brother only because my son dosnt see his dad so...I dont think its weird if she has kids with your husband because maybe she wants to keep the in laws in the kids' life on the other hand if there is no children then that is pretty strange

Answer 8

there is no other reason for her indiscretions than to hurt you and your husband. she is jealous, and manipulative. she is using this contact with the ex-inlaws as a way of "being in the loop", to spite you, and as a way of securing information about the 2 of you, to possibly use against you, as a way of offering up information(most likely lies) about you, to the in-laws. i advise you to not play her game. who cares what she does or says?! thats what she wants you to do! she wants you to care, to get mad, etc..call her bluff, and actually play along. be confident , and actually extend a hand in friendship(even though you don't mean it), and invite her along to see the in-laws again......i WILL bet she backs off. but leave the in-laws and the brother out of it. do not react to her and the things she says or does. who cares? you have your man, and that is all that matters.

Answer 9

She is a manipulative, jealous woman. You have to put 100% trust into your husband until you have concrete evidence to believe otherwise, or else your marriage will quickly disintegrate. Have you run this by him? If you feel you must say something, bring it up to him once. If he says it's nothing, or she is just jealous, then drop it. Believe me, men will do what they want to do whether we stress ourselves out about it or not. So in the meantime don't waste your time worrying.

Answer 10

That's the only reason, she wants to hurt you and him! She's a psychotic b*tch if you ask me. She needs to get a life and stop living in the past. If she wanted your husband so bad she shouldn't have let him go. Now he is yours, and she needs to let it be. If I were you, I would get a restraining order and try to not think about her.