My husband is an English citizen and i am an American citizen making our divorce rather tricky but i have started the paper work. I am 24 yrs old and have been married 4 yrs.The relationship is not stable we are off and on more off than on.We fight all the time and cant agree on anything least of all on how our daughter should be raised at this point.We needed a marriage therapist to help us decorate our old home!I was a model and he was a photographer a match made in hell!We seperated for the final time after i gave birth to my daughter when she was not quiet 1.She is know a little over 2 yrs old.I have been traveling with her for work to just about every where even to south africa!Problem is hubby wants to visit her at my expense and schedule? I want nothing more too do with him but he does not want a divorce?My daughter does no even know him!and he wants to see her in London for visits?Since i am in Austalia right now can i just ignore him?
2007-01-09 02:55:32 · 24 answers · asked by Miranda W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have moved on too another guy and this is the first time my hubby has ever taken intrest in his daughter.I hate my hubby so much right now!
2007-01-09 03:00:10 · update #1
My daughter see's my male friend who i have just started seeing not quiet though as her dad because he is the only constant male figure in her life other than my dad!I dont think she needs a dad who will be in and out!
2007-01-09 03:02:48 · update #2
You should NOT just ignore him. No matter how bad a father may be, it is the DAUGHTER'S RIGHT to see him. Your daughter has a right to know him. She is lucky - trust me - that he even wants to see her and get to know her. Don't deny your child of a parent.
2007-01-09 03:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anne C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask an attorney in the USA, in the UK, and Australia, but ask all three since you have 3 countries involved.
What country is your daughter a citizen of? Specifically what country issued your daughter's passport? What country are you and your daughter residences of? Where were you married?
Each country has its own laws and these three more than likely have treaties with each other about such things.
Spend the money and get legal advice. She is your daughter and is worth you spending the money and sacraficing other things to be safe and secure in the action you wish to take.
Until there is a court that issues an order in this matter, if you are in Austraila and he is elsewhere then you don't have to pay for anything for him. In fact you don't have to let him she his daughter. But everything you do now will reflect upon you in court when you do get a divorce and child custody is decided.
No matter what advice is given here SEE AN ATTORNEY in all 3 of those countries, or once you have departed Austraila only USA and UK.
2007-01-09 11:09:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mexico Traveler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you cannot ignore him, he is your daughter's father, and he will be forever. She should not be denied the chance to know him, and if you take that chance from her, she will be very angry and upset with you in the future. Sure, he may be an idiot and you can hate him if you like, but that's your relationship with him, not hers. They are two different relationships.
My advice to you would be that you say NOTHING negative about him, whether in her presence or not. Believe me, it will pay off in the long run, and you will look the hero. It will probably happen that he will say he's coming to see her, and he won't; still, you say nothing negative. I know it will be hard; I had to do the very same thing with my son and his father. I made it a point not to say anything negative about his father, and when they met for the first time, when my son was 5, it was an interesting meeting.
As she gets older, and she realizes what kind of person he is, she will make up her own mind about him, with NO HELP from you. If you decide to get into another relationship, after your divorce from him is final, be extra choosy as to who you allow into her life. You now have two people to think about.
2007-01-09 11:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are questions you need to ask an attorney, not people on Yahoo Answers, as your daughter is at stake here.
Overall, your soon to be ex cannot make you visit him on your dime and time, that is for sure..if he wants a relationship, he will have to make his way to where you are and file paperwork. Don't ignore him though and if you have a good attorney, you won't even need to deal with him..just have all future contact be ONLY through your attorney, which pretty much anywhere in any free country, you can do.
2007-01-09 11:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a legal not an emotional issue. If he chooses to pursue it, he has legal rights to visitation as you have legal rights to child support, etc. Even if you waive child support, he does not have to waive rights to visitation. Courts are extremely reluctant to suspend parental rights without extreme cause.
Also, the principle the court will base it's decision is is always "What is in the best interest of the child". Without extenuating circumstances the "best interest" is always that the child shall know and be raised by both parents.
You really need to get a lawyer that specializes in family law. Otherwise this is going to haunt you forever and will come up at the worst times.
2007-01-09 11:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hoooh, boy! You have an international marriage, international breakup, and international child support and visitation issues! You don't have to like your ex, but he is the biological father, and has some rights regarding your child. GET AN ATTORNEY who is comfortable with international child support and visitation law, and get mediation. You two sound like you need a referee; get one through the courts. Also, get some counseling for yourself; let the anger and betrayal issues go. You have a good man in your life, a wonderful child, and a great career; take that for what it's worth. You also can't just "ignore him"; he can get vindictive and sue for custody or visitation. Set up a visitation schedule and stick to it. Keep the visits civil, and your relationship civil. You don't have to like him, but don't be gutter about things. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-09 11:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only deny him visitation if you can prove that your child isn't safe or is being neglected when in his care. If he's a good dad, then you have no right to do that just b/c the schedule is inconvenient for you. You need to find a way to make visits work for the sake of your child. She has the right to know her dad.
2007-01-09 11:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is your baby girl's father, and whether you like him or not, he has a right to see his child. It is not your right to deny your child of a father that wants to know her. You don't know how many kids in this world who would give anything for a loving father. Your daughter has one and you are going to deny her of that for your personal reasons? This has nothing to do with you. It takes two to make a baby, your daughter is just as much his as she is yours. That is wrong and you need to go back to him and let him spend some time with his daughter.
2007-01-09 11:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consult carefully with your attorney; he/she has the answers you need - and you must follow his/her directions to the letter.
Do NOT allow him to take your child back to England with him. Each country's court system is different, but most countries tend to value their citizens' rights over those of a non-citizen. If you are certain that you want a divorce, and that you intend to file for sole custory, file here in the U.S. where you are a citizen and where your child was born. (I'm assuming the latter; if true, it does make your child a citizen here, with certain rights of her own.)
Whatever you decide, make certain to approach the areas of conflict with your husband from a "what's best for my child" viewpoint. The court will be more likely to value your decisions if you do.
Best of luck to you and your daughter!
2007-01-09 11:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by MomBear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignoring him isn't going to make the problem disappear.
He is the father, so he does have the right to see his child. If he was mis treating his daughter that would be a different thing. But as you have not said that...there is no need to not let him see her.
He wants to see her.
Dont deny him this, cos he will hold it against you!
And your daughter could grow up holding this against you as well.
2007-01-09 11:03:47 · answer #10 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋