I am always stressed out. I went into Home Depot and asked a middle-aged, wrinkled, cashier woman for help. She cracked a bad joke and began laughing up a storm. She had a genuine smile on her face, which revealed that half of her teeth were missing. I passed her again on my way out and she was laughing and smiling with another customer. She seemed full of joy! I would trade any and all intellect/knowledge and all the teeth I have for this kind of joy. Does anyone else agree that such a sacrifice would be worth it?
2007-01-09 02:46:38 · 34 answers · asked by kmm4864990 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I believe that what you observed was a genuine feeling of contentment.
She has accepted the fact that life is enjoyed by living in the present. She is probably not concerned with past failures or possible future calamities.
She is enjoying herself right here, right now. She is completely immersed in her present activity and is loving every moment of it.
She is enlightened, not by the erudite books that lounge on the shelves of the university, but by the inherent acceptance of what is.
2007-01-09 03:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't trade places with a toothless, happy person. People with teeth can be equally as happy, and look attractive while laughing. The woman may have been laughing each time you saw her, but how often is she not laughing when you do not see her? Trust me, she is not always laughing. She probably wishes she looked more attractive, had fewer wrinkles, and had a job that pays better than the job she has. I'm guessing she probably wishes she did not have to stand on her feet all day too. She probably wishes she were sophisticated (I'm guessing you are sophisticated) like you. Any number of people probably wish they were more like you, and you don't even know it.
You may be experiencing what people refer to as "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." Happiness comes from within. When you decide that you will have a good day or will get real joy from something, typically you will.
Educated, attractive people have more choices and more opportunities than people without these traits. How you choose to use your choices and opportunities determine, to a large extent, how happy you are.
Poor, unattractive people do not have a monopoly on happiness anymore than do wealthy, attractive people who have a college degree.
Think about this: Do people who live in poverty and ignorance have more happiness than people who don't? NO! If they did, why do we encourage children to get a good education?
Do people who have money and education have more happiness than the people who don't? NO! Did you see how unhappy Mrs. Ford was at her husband's (President Ford) funeral? Do you see how often celebrities' marriages break up? Don't you remember the "under the table" scandle surrounding President Clinton? Perhaps not all celebrities are educated but they certainly have lots of money and fame, but certainly the Presidents of the U.S. have education and money, plus fame, plus power. That still doesn't mean they are happy. Name one U.S. President that was always happy. Name one celebrity who is always happy. Can't name one can you?
Name one poor, uneducated person who is always happy and I'll show you a fool. Nobody is always happy.
However, people who have goals in their life, who have a purpose for doing what they do, who have positive and meaningful relationships with other human beings, those are people who are happy, at least they are more often happy than unhappy.
If you want to really see what happiness looks like, watch healthy, well-adjusted children. If you want to be really happy, take on the attitude of a healthy, well-adjusted child. Watch children during special holidays and celebrations and you will see ginuine happiness and joy. Play with a child and you will see the same thing.
Psychologists say that when you give a compliment, you make another person happy and you also feel happy. When you hear someone give another person a compliment, it makes three people feel happy: you (the hearer), the receiver of the compliment, and the giver of the compliment.
So enjoy the toothless woman's joy and be glad that you have all of your teeth, your health, your education, and all the opportunities that come with the having. Let her have her joy because she seems to have so little else. You have so much more and you can take joy in that.
Never, I mean never wish that you could trade places with another human being, because you have no idea of what that person is truly going through or has gone through.
Your life is the only one you will ever have; don't wish to make it happy. MAKE it happy and laugh till your heart's content. It is a good way to destress too. Laugh out loud and laugh often; every time you do, you add a whole lot of joy to your life and to those around you. Remember how you smile when you hear a baby's laughter? You are probably drawn to the baby, you want to see how cute it is, you want the baby to laugh again because it makes you feel good.
The next time you encounter the laughing, toothless cashier, enjoy her laughter. Laugh at her "bad joke," then thank your luckey stars that you have all of your teeth and they are all real, but don't wish for a moment that you could trade places with her. If the wish came true you would gladly wish you were your own stressed out self again.
2007-01-09 05:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by picayune 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this woman is happy (or appears that way) because she is doing exactly what she wants to do in life. Because she has no teeth and cracks bad jokes doesn't mean that she is unintelligent. I've seen people like this who appear to have no clue and are sitting on bank rolls and are happy as a clam. Sam Walton (Wal-Mart founder) looked like a bum on a daily basis. He wore bummy jeans and drove a peice of **** pick-up to work because he didn't beleive in excessive consumption. (He did this as a million/billionaire btw). If this lady doesn't have any money, she probably has some other secret that keeps her in a great mood. Maybe she used to be homeless and this job has gotten her back on her feet. Who knows.
The point I am making is that this woman made a concious effort to be happy (or at least appear that way at work). That is the only key to happiness, TO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!
Think about it. Most of the stuff we are stressed and depressed about are trivial. If you're a person that went off to college did you have fun? Were you broke all of the time? Did you find inventive ways to survive and laugh about it? Do you remember utterly stupid stuff that you did smile when you think about it now? Do you wonder how back in the day, people were technically so broke that they made each other gifts for Christmas and were happy about it? Now, if you can't get your 8 year old kid an ipod for Christmas people feel like a failure.
Don't get me wrong, I love to shop like the next person but commercialism and capitalism have made Americans into basketcases. None of us live in Somalia or Rwanda, our kids have shoes, hell we are all talking to each other on computer the we or someone close to us owns.
The next time you feel down or joy-less, think about the Home Depot lady. She probably gets up every morning and says, "I'm to blessed to be depressed". If you have a roof over your head and you've got something to eat in the cupboard, you are too. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!!!
Don't pigeon-hole me as a leftist, tree hugging, commie either. I realized that's how this sounded after I read it but I'm not. The truth, however, is the truth.
Sorry this is so long.
2007-01-09 03:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by othaphish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Wisdom, Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. You can still be wise, experienced and philosophical without being educated. Good grammar isn't everything. I love writing, it is my life and that's why I'm good at it. I would never, however, make a judgement on someone purely from their grammar, sentence structure, spelling or punctuation. Most of my family are dyslexic and they have great difficulty writing but they are successful in what they do and intelligent too. My husband has many skills that he has passed down to my son: electrical, mechanical, anything manual, he also has a great understanding of computers. He can dictate a great letter, but he leaves the writing to me because he really struggles with it. My daughter works with the elderly and disabled; she has the most caring and sensitive heart, she is kind, intelligent and she has a lot of common sense but her spelling and punctuation isn’t at all good because of her dyslexia. I think you must enjoy communicating through writing or you wouldn’t be here. Perhaps you might look at your ‘lack of good grammar’ in a philosophical way. Is it for a reason? Is it to help you overcome a challenge in your life or as you are doing now, is it to draw attention to those who might judge on appearance, that there is more to what they see than what first meets the eye? Good for you! Polly
2016-03-14 03:35:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you automatically assume she was uneducated? Perhaps her idea of happiness is not materialistic or superficial. Too many people judge happiness by the number of possessions one owns. Instead of happy, most of those people end up alone with all their things, stressing over how to pay for it all. That woman you saw, while perhaps lacking in dental hygiene, was obviously content with her life. So few of us actually achieve that status. I'd say she was far more educated in the school of life than most.
2007-01-09 02:55:08 · answer #5 · answered by Emm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but you are depressive. It isn't the teeth, or the intellect, or the 9 to 5, or the money you got in the bank, or the house in the suburbs. If you're not happy, you're not happy. And if a cashier woman at the Home Depot can make you wonder this kind of thing, it's time to look into your life and see what's keeping you from living a fulfilling life.
2007-01-09 02:53:34 · answer #6 · answered by guicho79 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a Master's degree and am planning to go back for my PhD. Does a degree make me happy? I think not. But I love what I do, and it is meaningful to me. (I am a speech therapist with Hearing Impaired Kids and severly disabled kids). I got "education" because I wanted to be a therapist, and I want to get a PhD to do research and be a professor. Doing what I love makes me happy.
But even for people who do not have the opportunity to work at what they love, the truth is, happiness and joy are a choice. As I have struggled through the most painful time in my life, I made a choice to learn to be happy, and find joy in the life I live, and people around me. I am choosing to be happy. I hope others will choose the same.
2007-01-09 02:58:08 · answer #7 · answered by TheyreComingToTakeMeAwayHaHa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think sometimes that it would be easier to be dumb and happy than smart enough to know better. As the adage goes, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know as I would trade the intelligence I have worked so hard to achieve for it though. Although, don't we work hard to be intelligent so that we can make enough money to be happy? Such a catch twenty-two. Now you've made me think....maybe I'll go knock a couple teeth out and do some drugs to kill some brain cells so I can be truly happy....
2007-01-09 02:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by brteimeh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do.You see some people are educated book-wise but are clueless on how to find genuine happiness.Don't get me wrong,education is very good but some people have just learnt how to accept their deficiencies and work on making themselves and those they come in contact with happy.It doesn't take rocket science to be happy, a merry heart and a willingness to share that mirth will do!!!!
2007-01-09 02:56:54 · answer #9 · answered by Ali.D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might be confusing joy with crystal meth addiction.
although i truly believe that ignorance is bliss, i also think that a lot of people mask their pain with laughter because they're in such dire straights.
imagine her life:
she works 7 days a week
she hasn't been on vacation in years, if ever.
she comes home to a small apartment that she can barely pay for.
she has a couple ungrateful kids who still live at home, one of them with a baby.
her husband left her 16 years ago and she hasn't had many prospects since.
Think if all the worries that she has that she'll probably never be able to address.
2007-01-09 03:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by pinwheelbandit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I'm happy with my friends as it is, you just need to find the right person. I've got 2 of those friends and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. But, I see what you're meaning, so... If hadn't got any friends I still think that I would do it. I don't know!
2007-01-09 03:09:22 · answer #11 · answered by sunny_marika 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋