I have a happy marriage since 7 years, but thoughts of a love in the past keeps occuring and stays with me. How to get rid of it?
2007-01-09 02:39:43 · 15 answers · asked by Khoku 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
even i feel the same.......i luv my wife alot....still my luv comes in dream and we talk and talk and talk.....i luv this situation....
2007-01-09 22:29:09 · answer #1 · answered by k p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first love is always the most intense. You might have some unanswered questions that only you can answer and let it go. If it did not work at that time it is because it was not meant to be. As you mention you are happy right now. Try to let it go of the past and focus on the present and future. I do not believe in confronting your past because you might leave with more questions. Imagine you go and confronting............. things like
Why did you lie to me? Why did you leave me? Why you did this or that to me?
Imagine you asking those questions seven years later. He/she might say I don't know. I was too young. I was immature. I was looking for something else.
You might open a can of worms and even leave more hurt than before. Take whatever good you have from this relationship and just have as a memory and forget about the bad of this relationship. Confronting might bring you more questions and you have to learn to let it go. Do not hold on, just let it go.
Some people say that times heals everything, but I am not so sure. I have seen it some people talking about the previous love thirty years later and they do not allow themselves to be completely happy. Do not be one of those. Whatever the situation was at the time it did not work, and there was a reason for it. Allow yourself to be completely happy.
2007-01-09 11:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by bbluckylove 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a natural thing to sometimes think of our past loves, especially when there were good times and many wonderful memories. But if you are doing this to excess then maybe there is something missing in your marriage and you are longing for those days when the romance was in the air. Open up to your husband about your willingness for him to be more romantic. Or you make the first move and think of some things you and your husband have done in the past that were romantic and try to get him and you to do those things again. It takes work and alot of imagination to keep the love alive!
2007-01-11 11:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are possibly not as happy as you say you are and that is why you are looking back to the past. Remember the saying, the grass is always greener on the other side. Well, if you went back to this girl, leaving your wife, you would cause suffering and pain to everyone even yourself, for later on, you would be looking to the other side once again.
Try working harder at your marriage, fill it up with music, laughter, days out and gradually the feelings of the past will fade
2007-01-09 13:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by rockandrollrev 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not compare your present with the past.Every body is having a happy past, to get rid of it is really difficult.Try to see your spouse the way you used to see your love in the past.
2007-01-09 10:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by Ashish s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have some unanswered questions about this person and you should find a way to find closure. If that means confronting the person and finding out what went wrong in your relationship or finding out that they also have a happy marriage and life, it is something you should do.
2007-01-09 10:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by shallybles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit with yourself and decide what issues you hadnot had closure on with your previous .... then you have to decide whether the whole thing is worth opening up again to have closure or your maturity and wisdom have developed to allow you to appreciate those whom you now have and value them against the past... you call man!
2007-01-09 10:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by Cheers For All 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is just because you still love him or her but you can't forget it and all the beautiful moments you passed so it's quite difficult to get rid of it, so what you need to do is to forget him and think about your husband or wife, love him or her and think about all bad moments you passed with the other one!!! Okay.
2007-01-09 10:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by Neha A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot get rid of it.
This is one of the reasons that God states not to have sex until you are married.
Like any other weakness that humans have, you must learn to control it or it will control you.
Stay away from situations that remind you of this past relationship and pray for courage and strength to help you do this.
We are weak, and sometimes you will get those feelings and thoughts to go away, only to miss them and fight to get them back. It is a battle, but one that can be controlled with Gods help.
2007-01-09 10:48:44 · answer #9 · answered by cindy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's haunting you since you did not have enough of it. You did not close it the way it should have been done.
2007-01-09 10:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by sonal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its well said that a person cant forget his first luv....but i suppose thats destiny ...sum ppl meet the right person at the first moment and sum make the wrong decisions...jst forget n move ahead...u hv a luvly partner now...wht cld be better than him/her..
2007-01-10 00:33:36 · answer #11 · answered by rajdebrain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋