I have a problem with a girl who used to flirt very badly with my husband over the net they were school friends back in the day, the things she would write were disgusting but were to provoke me into retaliating, I did but not in the way she expected and stopped harrassing us. Then she wrote back a few months later saying she had been at my work place to see who I was before she moved interstate. Heard nothing for a couple of years last week she said hello and she is back in WA. She wrote again today more or less saying I know your married but it won't stop me. My husband knows nothing of these recent emails, she also said where she was living which is not far from us and the worst part which she doesn't realise either is she is working at the same place my husband works. They will cross paths but I need to be ready for her as she knows where we live to. I need advice on how to get rid of her I have 5 kids to protect as I don't think she would think twice in hurting me. what do I do ??
2007-01-08 23:56:20 · 13 answers · asked by shellhiggs07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am going to tell my husband about her getting in contact and will show him the emails. I didn't want to tell him that she was emailing again until I knew if she was up to something and obviously she is. I worry about what she is really capable of especially as her user name is widow maker. I just worry more for the kids than I do anything else. I worry that if she gets angry with being rejected she comes here and starts trouble and it scares the kids. That is my main worry and with the police there are none in town after 5 pm and to get ones here from out of towm takes over an hour.
2007-01-09 00:10:33 · update #1
I know my husband would go straight to her and tell her straight to back off. With all the trouble last time he said to me that if she ever stepped foot in town it would be the only time he would consider hitting a woman and not feel bad about it. We do love each other and very much and I know he would never do anything to jeperdise our marriage but its her who I think is someone who gets something in her head and doesn't stop until she has destroyed everything in her path to get what she wants and the up get her to back off the more she seems to see it as a challenge. I was never going to hide this from my husband I only wanted to see what she wanted before I bothered him. She knows who I am but I would have a clue who she is. I have kept her emails but my husband is a night shift worker and he works alone at night so I will not be able to tell him until tomorrow afternoon. I just hope she is just being a **** stirrer and then just give up. I hope
2007-01-09 00:20:09 · update #2
I think that you need to tell your partner everything about what she has been doing. You don't want your partner finding out later on, so just be upfront and that way you two can prepare for it. Don't count on her hurting you. some people have no conscious and no heart and think of no body but themselves. they will step on other's toes and put other people down just to feel good about themselves. you need to tell your husband so that he can have a chance to prepare at least. she may need to get her feelings hurt in order for her to stop harrassing you (and soon your husband).
2007-01-09 00:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do u think after all these years suddenly that she'd bring any harm to u? so far all she's done is been a trouble maker to you, and only you thus far, meaning she hasnt really done anything to provoke anything "real".. people tend to talk big and bad over the computer..why because they feel empowered by it.. if u really feel that ur in harms way get a restraining order against her, change ur email, etc.. by letting her continually email u with out blocking her, it just proves that ur enjoying the fact that she's upsetting u so.. as far as your husband, theres nothing u or anyone can do if he wants to stray, so u need to have faith in him that he loves u and will protect ur marriage from any and all harm where this woman is concerned. For all u know she isnt even in the same state with u , she can easily say she is through a computer..yet be in another country.. I think the woman loves to play games and as long as u allow her to get to u , she's winning and will continue to do so .. she loves getting under ur skin, she loves to make u worry, she is a pathetic person that is so miserable in her own life, that she finds happiness in causing others to be miserable...
Have u ever physically seen this woman? Has she ever come to your home? i mean i realize that she "SAID" she showed up to your place of employment, but do u know it for a fact???? or could she of just said it? I think ur letting her get u worked up more then u need to be.. and as long as u keep responding to her emails and over reacting the more shes going to enjoy harassing u ..
2007-01-09 08:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does your husband feel about these new emails? He should be the one to tell her to stop, not you. He was "letting" her flirt in the first place and should of ended it then. If you feel as though she is threatening then both you and your husband should talk with the police. Save all correspondence from her to show them. I know that she is after your husband but some of the blame has to go to your husband for letting it happen. He could of chose to ignore her. Did he ever have a relationship with her? Or give her reason to believe she could? Please be careful. She does sound scary. Just document all that you can just in case she acts on what she says. Good luck.
2007-01-09 08:26:04 · answer #3 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well do u feel that your marriage is in jeopardy over this nut case? Let your husband know whats going on and keep a copy of all the emails she sends you , those could be very important if u need to go to court. Most folks don't seem to realize that emails hold up in court and can be used against you and if this nut threatens your life or that of your family call the cops. u can look online for email threats. Good luck
2007-01-09 08:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by KB48 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with your husband and discuss this situation. If you are secure in your relationship, an outsider shouldn't have any effect on your husband. If it does, then you are better off with out your cheating husband. Are you thinking she would physically hurt you? Your Children? Has she implied that she would? That is called harassment, call the police. Maybe you need more help that what you might get on this place.
2007-01-09 08:08:24 · answer #5 · answered by godbeyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know your husband would go straight to her and tell her to back off then whats the problem? If he won't be interested in her then you don't have anything to worry about. Ignore her and she'll go away. People only start sh!t with people who give them a reaction.
Besides how old are you people?
2007-01-09 09:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by protecting what you have you are taking decisions away from your husband,,it is he who needs to tell her to go away in no uncertain terms,,you have hidden away something important from him and now it has literally backfired because now you have to tell him otherwise you are giving her ammunition against you,,,'she doesnt trust you,,she hides things from you,,,,she said THIS about you",he is not a child who needs a mum to fight his battles and for her to see you are a team,a family he needs to know everything before they meet up,,no doubt she would love to tell him you have been sending emails and rub in the fact he knew nothing about them,,how embarrassing for him,he lives in a home where is isnt considered important enough to make his own decisions,,,you fear for your family ,yes,,but she cannot take away what doesnt want to go,,you have to have faith he wants to be with you and the children but you cannot go behind his back and plot like this,,apart from the fact you are doing this alone,,apart from the fact this must be driving you mad,,apart from the fact she and him will be working at the same place,,YOU have to trust he loves/wants/needs YOU,the kids,the home,,YOUR LIFE TOGETHER,it is this that makes people want what they have,,stop climbing the walls and share what has happened,tell him what and why you have done these things,(be honest)tell him she makes you feel this way.it is then down to him to put her straight.
2007-01-09 08:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the cops order of protection she sounds like a nut case and will cause you problems in your marriage and life specially she is working with your husband soon or later they are going to see each other at work tell your husband whats going on and if he stays away from her then you know he loves you if he goes after her then he gave her the confident to bother you i know is a risk you would take telling him but dont you rather know if he loves you****
2007-01-09 08:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about the situation; he needs to be involved in any solution. You also need to let him know how she makes you feel; if he loves you, I'm sure he'll help get the situation resolved. If all else fails, and she continues to harass you, then seek a legal solution to your problem, especially since you're fearful of getting hurt.
2007-01-09 08:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by grandm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you actually think this is a coincidence that she all of the sudden "works" where he does ? Come on now, you have a sociopath on your hands, scary thing is, these types of people are smart. She is very methodical in her thinking. She does her research like many internet psychos. I don't think she'll hurt you or your kids, buy I think it's up to the husband to nip it in the bud.
Best of Luck
2007-01-09 08:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by godzillasagoodman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋