my hubby has an insatiable sexul appetite. he wants to have sex everyday , more than once. it was ok up to a time, sometimes i need to get some hugs and kisses, this sorta affection. when i refuse sex he is crabby with me. am i a bad wife? i dont feel like having sex everyday.
2007-01-08 23:44:12 · 54 answers · asked by laura 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to sit down and talk this out - like any other problems in a partnership! He has to realise that your feelings must be considered too.
2007-01-08 23:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, I think the two of you should have a talk about it. Make sure he is in good mood. Males has more sexual urges than women, so I guess you should understand him. If you cannot do it everyday, tell him how about if you do every other day or what ever frequency suits you. Tell him your reason why you cannot do everyday. He should be able to understand you but if he still insist still even after reasoning with him, then I guess he is a bad husband.
You are not a bad wife, sex, or making love isn't the only factor to consider you as either bad or good.
Relationship is give and take.
2007-01-08 23:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by Free D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is you've been married for about 3-4 years now and sex used to be an everyday activity. But now it has grown "old hat" for you and he just wants to keep things alive as they were when you two first were together. I understand, I'm in the same boat. I also understand as life and families get bigger and busier a lot of women (not putting the blame on you) tend to sacrfice the sex in exchange for doing household chores and tending to the kids and such.
Your husband needs to realize this and understand. However, I think you need to realize that sex to a man is bigger priority than you think. I'm not saying more than once a day or even more than a couple times a week. But, make sure there is still sex in you lives. Good luck!!
2007-01-09 00:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by Highbeam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I go through the same thing. It doesn't make you a bad wife, just normal. Everyone has different ways to feel that they are wanted or needed, this is his way of feeling needed by you. When you turn him down, he feels that you don't "need" him. If he didn't bother you with sex everyday, would you feel that he don't need you? That is his way of showing you that he needs you all the time. Maybe you all can come to a compromise or agreement on how much and when to have sex. Good Luck with this. And I am not a teenager, i am 30 years old with a little bit of experience under my belt, THANK YOU.
2007-01-09 00:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by godbeyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is being unreasonable. He can't have it all the time, its as simple as that. Not being funny or anything, but does he actually work to preoccupy himself with other things and get rid of that excess energy that he has. Can't imagine doing it every day. Yes, we have a baby now and things are more hectic as I also work full time and so does hubby, but even before we had a baby, the diary was full if you know what I mean. And not with sex, but other things like cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning, shopping etc. I bet you he does none of the above, otherwise he wouldn't be constantly thinking the way he does. If he is being crabby, sit him down and explain that the world does not revolve around sex. It is about quality, not quantity and that he should also consider your feelings too, as opposed to just treating you like a sex slave. I mean, how old is this hubby of yours?? He does not act like an adult, but a teenager.
2007-01-09 02:03:25 · answer #5 · answered by ribena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not a bad wife. You might like sex everyday -- if it didn't have to be more than once a day. Even if you don't want it everyday, there's nothing wrong with that.
Tell him what you want and need (affection aside from sex, and how often you'd like to have sex). Ask him what he wants and needs (other than sex several times a day -- this you already know).
Different people have different appetites. There is no right or wrong about it (sexual disorders, like sexual addiction, notwithstanding).
It may be difficult to work out a compromise. If it takes more time than both of you think it should, consider counseling to help you both work this out.
Sex is just like any other enjoyable activity in that it can be made unenjoyable through a variety of means. Let your husband know when you're receptive because this could be nothing more than him needing reassurance without having to come right out and ask for it (he might not even be aware of this need if he has it). Also let him know what turns you off and how to turn you on -- inside and outside the bedroom.
For many women, sex starts in the kitchen. This is to say a big turn-on is a helpful, appreciative man. A big turn-off is a man who jumps on an exhausted mother or a woman who has just finished several hours of cleaning around and behind said man.
This is more his problem than yours, although it is certainly a marital issue. No one should have sex when they don't want to, the least reason being that it creates a negative association with a very positive thing.
If he's unresponsive, uncooperative and uncompromising, consider counseling to get to the bottom of it. While it might well be that he's hot and heavy all the time, he might also have issues behind his seemingly relentless sexual need. Either way, he should be told so he'll understand that this is up to him to deal with (only having sex when his partner is fully engaged instead of getting crabby to get his way) and find ways to meet his need.
If you think you might have issues of your own, by all means get to dealing with them, but if the only problem for you is the frequency of his desire, it's on him. Ask what you can do to help him out (non-sexually) and do what you can of the things he requests. The rest is his to deal with.
For the record, an extramarital affair is not "a way" to deal with not getting enough sex at home. It's a cop-out. It's a lazy way of ignoring one's own underlying issues as well as someone else's feelings and needs, but it's not a legitimate solution.
2007-01-09 00:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
not at all honey i think what you need to do is speak to him about how you feel if he really loves you he will understand he just feels just now that when you say no that you are rejecting HIM thats why he goes in a huff but tell him that you love him and that he does turn you on but there are days where you are tired and just want a cuddle and for him to be there but also tell him that when he goes in a huff that he makes you feel like a bad wife then ask him how he feels about it and come to a comprimise that you are both happy even make it that one or two nights a week you both cuddle up watch a film and just hold each other tell him he needs to be more romantic with you you are a woman and want to be wooed hope this helps honey good luck
2007-01-09 22:12:47 · answer #7 · answered by samantha l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not a bad wife, but give sex a try everyday, it is really very good. and it is very useful, it keep your husband on the lease. If not, your husband may take his appetite elsewhere, and this could be disastrous for your marriage. Slowly you can train your husband that the more hugs, kisses and foreplay the more sex he can get from you. Somewhat like how scientists train the mice and the ape. Make a game of sex it will become interesting. Know the power of sex, you have your husband tied like a dog or he will go after some other b****, and you may find sex more satisfying. You are lucky your man has an insatiable sexual appetite, you can make him your sex slave.
2007-01-09 00:08:26 · answer #8 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ohhhh I feel for you - mine is the same - we have a healthy sexual relationship - but sometimes I don't want it as mch as he does and he constantly asks for it - it bugs me that he does!!! sometimes I just want a hug!! sometimes he does hug me - but then I can tell he thinks it WILL lead to sex some way or another and it irritates me!!! I think all women go through a period of this - its not unusual!! if he doesn't get sex he gets moody - but only because men equate sex to love - what we give them is how much we love them!!! strange but true!!! LOL!!! for us foreplay is all day - we like the cheeky text message - the loving hug, the cup of tea in the morning - all these things are more likely to make us want sex - they just want to hang it out and expect us to climb on though!!!!
your so not a bad wife - your just a woman and he is a man - and I am not been sexist towards men - sex is something they are driven by - to us sometimes there is so much more than that!! its just life!!
xxx
2007-01-08 23:59:26 · answer #9 · answered by Grace - baby No.2 due in October 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well talk to him let him know that when yall got married you agreed to be his partner in crime, his best friend, and long time companion. You are not his sex slave if you fulfill his wishes he needs to give you the same in return. The world does not revolve around him and you got some wishes to be fulfilled too. Try going out of the house with him like go bowling or golfing or the beach or arcades or parks etc. Do activities together so you both won't be stuck in the bedroom.
2007-01-08 23:57:09 · answer #10 · answered by minispears05 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm...how many times a day does he want to have sex?If he wants it like constantly I'd worry about a sexual dysfunction called "Nymphomania".No,it isn't just something women have.Google it on your computer.Also Google any sexual dysfunctions to get some good answers.Now,another thing to consider is that many men see sex as a form of expressing their love.If he has self confidence problems about your relationship he may be trying to make himself feel better by making love.Reassure him daily that you love him and that he is attractive to you.It isn't fair of him to expect you to have sex constantlyYou are not a bad wife for not wanting sex every day.You are comfortable with his love and desire for you so you don't need to express it like he does.Plus if you have kids you may be fed up with "touch"by the time he gets to you!I'd say he's crabby when you say no cause he thinks you don't find him sexy or love him the same.Men are like that.(not all of them just the relationship immature ones!!!)Again lots of hugs and sweet words from you.Give him lovey cards and leave little love notes around went thru this also.I am not with my husband any more but not because of this.I tried the things I suggested and it worked pretty good
2007-01-09 16:14:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋