My boyfriend and I live together about 2 years.I love him and I stay with him even though we fight alot and our characters are very different.My visa expired 1 year ago and I was in the process of legalizing my stay but my lawyer made a terrible mistake and I lost a chance.I still go to school here,work and pay taxes.Since my visa expired 1 year ago in order to legalize my stay I need to get married to American citizen.I was hoping my boyfriend was going to offer me a marriage because we love each other and he knows my situation.He was talking about it and promising me but...I can't wait anymore.Another problem is that my boyfriend and I fight alot and I am not sure if our relationship will last as long as I hope.I have a good friend who I know for 6 years.He told me that he can marry me just to help me to legalize my stay.In this case I think I trust my friend more than my boyfriend.What should I do?
2007-01-08 23:17:09 · 12 answers · asked by angel v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Friend of mine is gay.
2007-01-08 23:49:02 · update #1
you have a situation that needs to be resolved. if your boyfriend will not do it, then find someone else that will. you cannot wait for your boyfriend to come around and finally make a decision in regards to your visa. don't wait for him....take care of yourself.
2007-01-09 00:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an intelligent and educated woman.It seems to me that you have your own answers.Very often we fall in love with people who we just cant get along with.however we are always holding on to the hope of fairytale romance,the perfect marriage,2 beautiful children,the family dog and the white picket fence. Your boyfriend knows your situation has promised you marriage,yet you have reservations about marrying him because you fight alot.Marrying him will only increase the tension between you and your fighting will only worsen.Your friend is very kind in offering you marriage to legalize your stay,as long as there is no ulterior motive in his doing so(unless of course that is what you want.) I wouldn't even consider marrying your boyfriend,I don't think that would work at all,your friend has made you a nice offer,but don't sell yourself short hes probably not the only one who would help you out in this situation.If your friend is gay i would say absolutely 100 percent do it.and if not I think a gay man is a perfect match for your situation. I sincerely wish you good luck
2007-01-08 23:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by FYIIM1KO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know what's going on your friend's mind about marrying him. What if your friend hold your so-called marriage against you. Then what, getting a divorce is even hard. I don't get why you should trust a friend than your boyfriend you said you love and choose to be with. And how your boyfriend gonna react if you married someone else, even for that sole shallow reason.
Marrying your friend or boyfriend not gonna solve any of your problem. Yes, you can stay in the US, but then what's next. i think its better if you think of other way in staying to US . THINK hard
2007-01-08 23:31:32 · answer #3 · answered by Free D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a tough situation, your bf doesnt seem to wanna legalize it and the fighting isnt good. It probably wouldn't work out. As to your friend..its a sweet offer maybe he feels more for u than u know. But if its just a kind jesture it wont last & you'd be depriving him of finding true love or even worse, you'll have a divorce under your belt soon.
2007-01-08 23:25:17 · answer #4 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a mess! I was the "American citizen" in this same situation about 20 years ago, but I ended up not marrying the guy because I didn't want to end up beheaded one day, and besides that I didn't want to wear one of those things over my head where only my eyes show. Why don't you just go on back home? I don't mean that in a rude way, I just mean why marry somebody you don't love?
2007-01-08 23:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be quite careful because what you contemplate is violating the law. Anyone who has a gripe against you and knowledge of the situation can make your life miserable. BTW, why would you have a bf you trust less than you trust a friend?
2007-01-08 23:22:33 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your friend is ready to marry you so you can live in america why not?! it would be a convenient marriage and you can still live with your boyfriend until he throws you out or vice versa since you say you both fight a lot.
Do not marry him if you fight a lot. You will only be applying for a divorce.
2007-01-08 23:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my dear, this is a critical problem,
If you think you marage is more meaningful to you then find a patner for whole life time, I think it will be possible to you. If you are thinking about your marage as very easy thing and then marry your friend (not the boy friend). and get devorced.
I think marrage should be for whole life and it shouldn,t be a visa getting method
2007-01-08 23:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by acmmanoj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't trust your bf, you're relationship is doomed. you use words like fight alot, i hope, he was talking about, i'm not sure. seems like you have your doubts about this relationship and if you can't be sure, trust your doubts. they're usually correct.
2007-01-08 23:43:12 · answer #9 · answered by Debt Free! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't live with him. Nothing matters beyond that and I quit reading after this.
2007-01-08 23:20:17 · answer #10 · answered by Joe C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋