I am 16 n my next door neighbour who I grew up with has strict, boring parents that don't give him much freedom and an annoying little brother and sister. He is short n stubby and not very fit-looking, and has a slightly pockmarked, freckly face, with a mole or two (also doesn't have a job). I have parents who give me an appropriate freedom and I go to parties all the time and regularly pickup, I am tall and a bit skinny, but perfectly happy with how I look. But lately he has gone two a couple of parties with some of his friends n recently had his first kiss (at 16 years!!) with some girl I have never even heard of, but people say she is "okay" looking. Whenever I hear that he has gone to partys I feel jealous n when I found out about this girl I was really angry and felt bitter towards him. The night I found out about the girl i was at my house with two girls Sam n Hannah who are like the most wanted girls in school n I was kissing one of em all that night. Why do I feel SO jealous?
2007-01-08 22:36:15 · 8 answers · asked by filthy gorgeous 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Your jealousy seems to be unfounded and is quite petty. I would work on trying not to be so concerned with what your neighbor is doing and just focus on your own life. It sounds as if your neighbor may have been a late bloomer. Perhaps he is now coming into his own. But really your obsession with him is quite disturbing. My son is 17, we have several boys his age on the block, he doesn't have some sort of competition with them. Unless it's on the football field, but they are all cool to eachother and don't compete over such petty things. Petty jeaolousy will ony hurt your life. Work on getting over it now.
Truthfully your name on here shows that you are pretty full of yourself and in the long run that is only going to hurt you.
2007-01-08 22:53:13 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be APBT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know there's a really good chance I'm wrong about this, but its the first thing that struck me about your question:
I don't think you're jealous. I think you're resentful. I think you like being the one with the seemingly better situation than he has, and maybe you have built some of your identity on how things have always been. Since you say you're "perfectly happy" with how you look it would seem you have a high level of self-esteem (a version of "ego").
I think you feel superior to him when it comes to build and face and parents and job, and I think you don't think he deserves a decent girlfriend. Now that you've found out there are girls who are interested in him 1) you're resenting it because you - in your own low-estimation of him don't think someone like he ought to have girls interested in him and 2) your applecart has been upset because you were so sure he'd never get the girl; and now he has, and maybe you are now questionning what else there is you've been so sure about that may be wrong.
You may feel threatened because it could appear he's catching up with you. Maybe you've felt you had "your place" at the goer-to-parties sewn up, and now you aren't "The One" who gets to go parties while someone else looks on any longer.
You may now have figured out that not all girls find tall the most appealing thing. Some prefer someone who is more like "mainstream" people when it comes to height. Maybe you're figuring out not all girls care about super-fit. Many understand, particularly at 16, that everybody's build is unfinished; and there will be "stubby" and too lanky" and whatever else. You picked out the fact that this kid has some pock marks, freckles and "a mole or two", and you thought those flaws would hurt his chances with girls. Now you've seen not all girls care about those either. I think you are feeling as if much of what you've believed or else settled into feeling sure about has been turned upside down, and you resent him.
Because you have asked this question and pointed out things such as your being with two girls who are the "most wanted girls in school" it is obvious that you spend a lot of time compariing yourself to others, assessing your own "score card", and generally measuring yourself and others. I don't know how long this kid has been your neighbor, but it seems you've grown used to just being the one who seemed to be on top. Maybe he has nice things about him that you haven't mentioned but that you know would give him more "points on a score card", and maybe those are the things you weren't sure of. Now that he's poking holes in your belief that you had "superiority" all sewn up when it came to appearance and social life you could be worried that he's cutting in on turf you thought was yours.
Again, you're not jealous. You're resentful.
2007-01-09 07:04:51 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer that question. Did you have some kind of control over him- was he someone that you would go to and brag about the things you were getting to do and he wasn't it? I don't think that what he does or is doing is any of your business. Are you afraid that friends of yours are suddenly going to start to pay your friend some attention or worried he is going to steal a girlfriend from you? If you were indeed a friend of his, you would be happy that he is finally getting some freedom. Chill out man, there is more than one fish in the sea.
2007-01-09 06:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by rosey 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you feel jealous because you're sixteen! trust me when i say that everything seems so unfair when you're a teenager. however, remember that the grass always seems greener on the other side. in other words: you want what you can't have! and that applies to any age. you will have your turn, and until then just keep your distance from your neighbor, or congratulate him on his success! maybe you need to gather up some false confidence and be a little flirty with these girls as well.
2007-01-09 06:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by kayzee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure it's related to the abusive answer you posted toward Nimali in her question about potatoes. She wasn't offensive to you and just because you didn't find her response helpful you became vulgar and abusive.
Such rage in the face of minimal provocation screams immaturity and significant insecurity. Have you thought about getting professional help?
2007-01-09 07:07:00 · answer #5 · answered by Chef Mark 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
calm down,concentrate on your self try to achieve your goals so you can improve your self instead of comparing your self to others!!learn from the guy you r talking about, he had nothing compared to you!!but he managed to gain the hearts of the girls!!may be he is decent ,cool & nice to talk to!!eventhough he is not handsome!!try to be like him!!girls are not everything in the world!!he may had the most pretty girl at school but he don't get high grades!!your grades r much important than girls!!for this time being,!!
2007-01-09 07:59:05 · answer #6 · answered by donia f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have underestimated your neighbour too much. You deserve to be jealous!
2007-01-09 06:41:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What other people have is irrelevant.
2007-01-09 08:24:35 · answer #8 · answered by Screamin' Banshee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋