I have a problem, and I am not promiscuous at all, it's just when my ex wants sex, I tell him I do not want to, that it isn't right and he just won't accept it. He pushes and pushes until all my resolve is broken, and now I know you will say it is my fault for being there and yes it partly is, because I do not trust him to be with the kids on his own, so in order for them to spend time with him I do as well, I believe they should have a chance to know their father and if in time they do not want to see him I will not make them, but how do I get him to keep his hands off me? I mean it really hurts that he disrespects me and does what he likes whether I like it or not, and yes I know, my fault because I am there, but I do not want my kids missing out on their dad, no matter how he treats me
2007-01-08 22:00:20 · 9 answers · asked by cheeky_lil_pixiegirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
NOPE! Do not let him put his hands on you unless you want him to. He is using you like a dirty rag! Put a stop to it , YESTERDAY! If he wants to see his kids , wonderful. If not, and the only reason he sees them is to "get some" from you, then you would be better off not letting them see him. Kids need to see their Dad, but Dad needs to respect Mom, and treat her with dignity and respect also. If he won't, then they need to just not see their dad for awhile. They will grow up well-adjusted, and be normal kids because of the love and respect Mom has for herself, and because she refuses to be "used"! You CAN , and MUST, put a stop to this!! Good Luck!!
2007-01-08 22:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly - it is not your fault. You are trying to do the right thing and he is trying to make it hard for you. If he won't give you any respect then I'm afraid he's setting a bad example to your kids and may undermine your relationship with them.
I would never suggest using your children as a weapon, but if he can't be trusted with the kids and won't respect you when you bring them round, then he's not really much of a father and perhaps they would be better off without him for now.
Tell him that if he doesn't start treating you with the respect you deserve you will not bring the kids around. He's free to stay in touch with them by mail and phone etc, but you can't put yourself in that position anymore.
When the kids are old enough they can chose for themselves if they want to see him, but if he doesn't change his ways they probably won't want to.
2007-01-09 06:11:08 · answer #2 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
subconsciously, you have found yourself a good excuse to be around the kids´ father. you don´t trust him with the kids, they need to know their father... your brain has worked out a nice plot. if you really hated his advances, you would be away from him and i´m sure you would find another way of your kids spending time with their dad. also, when someone really means NO, especially when it comes to having sex, they won´t let anyone persuade them the contrary. if the other insists, it´s called rape. you´re feeling used by your ex and want it to stop, but you still can´t resist it. avoid going to his house or just get back together with him.
2007-01-09 06:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man is not worth having around you or your children. The more you subject your children to someone capable of virtually raping you the worse life they will lead. This is not a very nice person he is acting like an animal and your letting him. He doesn't care about you or your children the only thing he cares about is getting sex on his terms.
2007-01-09 07:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by Steven R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this guy does not sound safe.
i would let him know that u will not be bringing the kids around until he starts respecting your boundaries.
and u need to make the boundaries and keep them no matter what
if the kids see that he does not respect you then your kids could learn the same behavior
2007-01-09 06:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by dreamnfox 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to say NO and mean it..say it with strength and feeling...if you feel you may still crumble then why not have a friend or family member also there with you when your kids are seeing their Dad?...You have to let him know that he is no longer a part of your personal life and he must stop touching you..he has no right to disrespect you
2007-01-09 06:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by panda64 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he living with ya ??
if he is.. you gotta stand up for youself and say NO as NO, tell him he is Ex and not ur husband. and he has no rights on You..tell him to get lost.. dont act weak infront of your childrens.. you must be strong.. no one can make you do what you dont want to do
ooko ;)
2007-01-09 06:07:20 · answer #7 · answered by Princesa De Muerte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You now know what to do. Get tough and tell in the deal See if he wants to go to jail foe rape tell him that and I don't think he will want to get it from you ant more.
2007-01-09 13:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have the answer to the problem already.
2007-01-09 06:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by brandley_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋