should we have sex, even though it might confuse things?

Question

i been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs. i love him. for the first time in 4yrs i am very attracted to this other guy. by the way he is like a brother to me. all of a sudden one night i look into his eyes and i want him so bad. and he is close with my boyfriend also. but i can't stop thinking about him. We both want to have sex, but we've been scared to. Did i mention i know his girlfriend too. I never had a guy kiss me the way he did. he touches me like i wish my boyfriend would. i want him so bad. i never cheated on my boyfriend, but he has cheated on me several times in the past. he even hid a baby from me when we first met. a part of me wants to do it because my boyfriend didn't care about my feelings when he cheated. but another part of me says don't do it, i love loyalty and honestly. i have never been challenged like this before. i love my boyfriend but i really love this sensual touch the other huy give me.

Answer 1

Go for it, if your b-friend has cheated on you before, then I guess it's your turn, who knows this guy that you want to be with could be the guy for you.

Answer 2

Well if you're kissin on homeboy then you're already cheating. Why not just kick the dude to the curb and get with the other guy? Why be another damn statistic like all these other selfish fools that wanna go out there and make themselves look like sl*ts. Just kick homeboy to the curb, and then feel GUILT FREE and have the most mad unadulterated passionate sex with the other guy that will be OKAY in you, god, and everyone elses eyes, so no one can judge you.

BUT.. you said the other guy has a girlfriend...so in essence you're helping HIM look like a piece of sh*t cause he's still with her....now is the compromise cause it takes 2 to tango....so if you're willing to leave for the greater good, then so should he right? And that's where you gotta find that compromise

Either way, dump your current boyfriend...you may love him but it ain't true love if it ain't mutual, and any person that is willing or HAS cheated, is most certainly not showing much love for that other person now are they? It ain't real, end it, and find someone you'll have a mutual love for...hopefully your 'best friend' if he's as legit as you say.

Answer 3

First of all, I don't know how you can be so sexually turned on by this guy who you say is like a brother to you. Gross! Are you Angelina Jolie?

Second, how can you be with a boyfriend for so long that has cheated on you? It's not fair to you emotionally or physically. Physically because if he sleeps around, he could give you an std.
He didn't care about giving you an std or breaking your heart or getting another woman pregnant. Is he really worth it? I think not. Do yourself a favor and get rid of him. You'll be amazed at how much better you will feel. You'll probably miss him (I wouldn't!) because he's been with you for 4 years, but that's not because you love him. It's just because something that's been in your life for 4 years is now gone, but you'll get over it. It's more habitual than about love.

As for this brother friend guy, unless the BOTH of you plan on being an honest to goodness, real couple, I don't think you should get involved with him. If the both of you only want each other for sex, then you don't really care or respect each other at all. But if you both agree to be boyfriend and girlfriend, then it's ok. It is NOT ok to cheat. Break it off with your boyfriend and his girlfriend. Do it clean. You are lowering yourself to your boyfriend's level. Do you want to be a disgusting player like him? If you respect this guy who says he's like a brother to you, then you will have sex with him the right way, in a committed relationship w/him. Speaking of relationships, he has a girlfriend right? Do you want to be with a guy that cheats on his girlfriend? Do you want to be the "other woman"? You are turning yourself into the women that your boyfriend has cheated on you with. You're setting yourself up for a lot of negative drama. Don't make life hard on yourself.

Answer 4

Your relationship with your boyfriend is based on many wonderful things including your history together, and the values that you hold dear such as your loyalty, honesty and integrity.

Some will say that you are a cheater and give you a hard time which is not entirely fair. This other boy knocks your socks off and lights you up like fireworks. He knows in some respects what a woman wants and he has shown it to you. I know how he looked at you, how he kissed you and how you melted.

In my relationships I have always been faithful, but I wish I hadn't as I gave up my passions for the road that is OK, but lacking in the fire of that other person that was essence of my true self.

You need to talk to this boy. You are both scared as there as so many potential complications going on. You both are on the precipice of discovering a mutual sexual chemistry that you never knew was possible.

Answer 5

what is wrong with you people-i am assuming since your relationship involves a kid from another relationship and has lasted for four years you are old enough to know that no matter what he did that doesn't make it right for you to do it. two wrongs do not make a right. you have to take everyone involved into context here-you, your bf, the other guy and his girlfriend. not only would you destroy your relationship, you'll destroy the relationship between the other guy and his girlfriend, you'll destroy the friendship between your bf and the other guy and your friendship with the other guy. if your bf has cheated on you several times in the past and hid a kid from you it sounds like you need to evaluate that relationship before you start another one even if it is just sex or before you hurt all the people involved. i don't suggest you sleeping with him at all in the current situation. if you both were single it would be one thing but neither of you are. so NO DON"T DO IT>

Answer 6

Ohh c'mon.... Don't lie to yourself.... You want to do it because of something that happened between you and your b/f in the past?? C'mon, as if if this hadn't happened, you would have been any less tempted. Temptation is a powerful drive, and there's no reason or need to prop up some meager excuses to explain it - it explains itself. You guys are all adults; do what you feel is best under the circumstances. Perhaps, being shackled into a "committed" relationship is not for you at all, you may be a "free spirit", and there's nothing wrong with it. But as it stands now, it's a shame that people might be lied to, and hurt, as a result of your actions.

Answer 7

JUST PRETEND for a moment that you just cheated on your boyfriend and had sex with this other guy. So, he made you feel good physically. Is that ENOUGH??? How do you FEEL? Have you now repaid your boyfriend for cheating on you in the past? How does that make HIM feel? Are you happy with yourself now that YOU are NO LONGER loyal and honest? Ooops! You accidentally got pregnant during this "one time" fling...was it WORTH IT??? You need to DECIDE what is IMPORTANT to you in a relationship! Is it having your physical desires met? Is it the loyalty and honesty? Is it something else? I would guess that you are VERY SELFISH about what YOU want and care VERY LITTLE about how your actions/desires will affect other people. Remember, the decisions you make will have LASTING CONSEQUENCES... THINK BEFORE YOU ACT...

Answer 8

Are these sensual touches worth breaking a 4 year relationship for? There is chemistry between you, yes, but you are both commited. Play as far away from this dude as you can. Tell him that you did enjoy what you had but you cant do it anymore, for your and his relationship's sake. Remember what is between you is plain LUST and not LOVE! Your man has cheated on you before, but dont use that to justify your actions! Be the bigger/better person in this picture!

Answer 9

If he ever finds out- he will be very disappointed in you, because the fact that you forgave him in the past made him look at you as someone better than him. By cheating on him, too, you only lower yourself to his level. Drop the boyfriend first- then find another lover.... unless you are enjoying playing with fire too much. It's very appealing, because you both know that it's wrong.... as soon as it comes out in the open- the fire will burn out. Is it worth it losing your cheater boyfriend over another cheater? Or is this your way of getting out of your present relationship? I hope you are as tough as a guy, because you might end up with none of them.... which will actually maybe be to your advantage in the long run.

Answer 10

well you need to think of the people who u might hurt if you have sex with him. Not only your bf but his girlfriend, would you like that to be done to you. Proably not, maybe take a break from your man. If you have doubts now he might not be someone you want to be with forever.Or talk to him and tell him when he touches you theres no feeling there maybe you guys can work this out. I know its hard i have been there and went and did some stupid stuff and i hurt alot of people because ui was feeling diffrent in another guys arms but came to realize the guy i was with was who i really loved and because of a one night thing i am with out my true love forever. Think before you act and good luck

Answer 11

You want this other guy because he gives you something your boyfriend doesn't.

And it is still exciting and dangerous for you.

If you were single and this other guy was single, would you go for him?
You have kissed him - then you have already cheated on your boyfriend. Any sort of physical intimacy with someone else is cheating. I also agree that emotional intimacy with others can be cheating too.

You are doing this because at least at some level you don't want to be with your boyfriend any more.

Save everyone a lot of grief. Dump your boyfriend.
If this other guy likes you, tell him to stop cheating on his girlfriend and break up with her. Then you two hook up.