Haven't had the best day....can you cheer me up?
2007-01-08 19:08:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
$
2007-01-08 19:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
2007-01-09 03:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by Two Peas 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There was a man in Tenn. that got a flat tire, and so he pulled over on the side of the road. He got out of his truck, and said"shhhooooottttttt, dang gummit!" Then he reached into his truck and pulled out 2 bunched of roses. He then put one bunch in front of the truck and the other in the rear of the truck. He then went about fixing his flat. A passer by stopped and asked if he needed help, he also questioned about the roses. the man walked up to the guy in his car, and said" I was told by a police man that you was to.. put...out... emergency..flawers every time you had a flat." Gang Gummit!!!Everyone knows that any haw . ..... Hey are ya :-) yet.??
2007-01-09 03:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by Cosmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's an old and stupid joke but I laugh every time:
Two guys are standing at the urinals in the mens room. Ones average size, the other is really fat. Average guy says "how longs it been since you saw your penis?" Fat guy" long time". Average guy"well why don't you diet?" Fat guy" why ,what color is it now? " bahahahahahha! get it Di-et ,dye-it, I know stupid, but funny , men love this joke.
2007-01-09 03:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by Kris17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try typing jokes' in on google. Those are funny and cheer me up
2007-01-09 03:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ok..just remember this..live your life to the fullest..cherish the friends you have now..take every step one at a time..roll with the punches..stop and smell the flowers sometime..bask in nature's beauty..
ok, sorry..that wasnt laughable material..having a down day myself
2007-01-09 03:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sometimes a good cry helps to but would it help if I said Days of our lives is coming to an end?
2007-01-09 03:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by diarubie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
2007-01-09 03:11:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
wanna watch me deep fry mt mother in law and then feed her to my snake jake
2007-01-09 03:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html
2007-01-09 03:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋