Do you ever think you made a mistake letting 'the one' get away?

Question

I got out of a 6 year relationship with a girl that was perfect for me. The first 5 years were amazing. The last year became difficult because of various reasons including the start of graduate school and distance issues. We both fell into ruts and were so used to the relationship that things deteriorated from there. Things ended well about 4 months ago. I rarely call to give her space, but she still calls me at least once a week and we've hung out maybe 6 times. I've made it clear I want to get back with her, but she wants to 'take things slow' with me to get over our issues. Anyways, she was my first really serious relationship and I know there is something to be said about seeing what else is out there. However, I have this big fear that I will check out what is out there for the next however many years and realize that she was the best one and have it be too late for whatever reason. Anyone older than I (26) come to this conclusion?

Answer 1

if you seriously think she is the one then you need to try like hell to get her back. i am 28 so i think you are well old enough to know if she is the one. maybe you should just go for it and ask her to marry you. you can be engaged for as long as you both need to be. and if she calls you once a week and you rarely call her you should start calling more often. go see her, take her out, dude get her back. if you don't you will still find happiness down the line but you will always wonder what if

Answer 2

Yes, you will probably regret losing her because no matter who you meet later in life, there is no such thing as a perfect person and perfect relationship. Yes, there is a lot of fish in the sea, but ever thought how much alike it tastes?
What matters is time and the effort you have put in a good relationship, this will never come to you easily.You have been with this girl for 5 years, so you have to think it will take you another five years to get to know someone as well as your girl.
Also first come, first served, there is nothing like your first- u just never forget him/her. We miss the ones we have loved.
I ran across this anthropology theory once which claimed that you have limited emotional capacity- you have love for only 1 mother, for 3 friends, for 1 homeland and 1 lover.
That's it, don't know if it's true or not but it will make you think about things and learn to cherish them as there will be no other like them. Ever again :)
Hope that have helped.
I believe commitment is what makes relationships work. And persisistence. At the end you will just lie back happily and think over all the things you have overcome and you ll be proud of your self.

Answer 3

No... I've had some pretty serious losses (the person I felt I "could not live without" left me after 5 years of marriage to be with another woman), but I would always press on; there seemed to be always something else around the corner. And there was.

Sometimes, it's worth to try and get the relationship going. But often, you just have to ask yourself, when is "enough"? No one but yourself can kind of condense this decision out of your previous experiences, your experience with this particular person, their feelings for you, your feelings for them, the possibility that you might ever see eye to eye. People do grow apart; sometimes, it's a losing proposition to fight for a relationship that is deretiorating just by the virtue of you two growing up and changing. Just proceed slowly, and do what feels right to you, not what might feel "right" to the outsiders. I think, it will become apparent fairly soon if she is in any way interested in continuing the relationship; if not, you might as well just cut your losses, and keep on going. There will be others, and you'll see that everyone has the potential being "the best one" if you are making good choices.

Answer 4

First of all it sounds like u are lonely and haven't found
anyone else, so u keep looking at all the good things that
happened between u two. But there must of been alot of
bad things or u would still be together. Maybe its better u two stay friends and walk away. U need to find someone else
to spend your time with, break-ups are hard and it's easy
to look back and remember the good times move on, u will
be ok!

Answer 5

yes i feel like a few mistakes were made in my own life, going from person to person looking for love, each one of us has different needs and wants. if we do by chance find someone special that fits us, we need to do all we can to get the relationship back on track. we can search a lifetime and never feel the same about another as we do this one special person. the heart does know what it wants, and what is good for it, unfortunately we think we can always find better, but sometimes we don't. as in my case, i lived with a person many years ago, we split up, with me thinking i could do better. after 30 years, and going through many relationships, and a bad marriage, where do u think i am now? back with the person i started with in the beginning. but it seldom happens like this, usually we never pass that way again. good luck...

Answer 6

I am older than 26, i personally understand how you must feel...mostly if you didn't care you wouldn't bet asking for advice! Well, to be honest you seem like you really care about her but...you are tring to hard, someone once told me if it is yours and ment to be yours walk away, if it wasn't yours you will lose it and it was never ment to be. But if it comes back to you it was ment to be forever! I can tell you I once along time ago lost what now i feel was my soul mate because I was to selfish! I should have been looking at why our relationship was falling apart and why I was so offish towards my man. I know now it was that I was scared and felt like i needed to experience more and look to see what was out there. Guess what... He wasn't there when I wanted him back in fact i lost my love and my best friend too. I took advatage of someone so i could find out who i was. Unfortunally, I grew up and learned alot of my self and of life....take a step back and look into your heart, if you really love her keep tring, but if the things don't change then stay friends, don't lose someone you love. Life isn't full of easy decisions but they can but they can hurt for years to come so know what you want don't rush it ! Find out whats impotant to both of you and go from there! I wish you luck!

Answer 7

Well I am not 26 or in my 20's but I have a bit of rock solid advice.
If she is "the one" u haven't lost her if she is "the one" she will come back to u. And base everything off that u can't loose what is yours, u might miss place it but evenutally u run right back across it.

Answer 8

It's hard! Do what u really feel like to!
It's happened to me, coz i knew the one i had a crush on was the one to this day that i really felt and now i know it's too late, and i regret it every single day...

Answer 9

If your problems were distant issues and youa re still both drawn to one another, then you should try to work things out, it seems worth it.

Answer 10

Yes and it's a terrible mistake to make. Do not make it again.