I've known my bestfriend since I was 4years old. She's a year older than me but that doesnt really bother me. What does is since we were about 10yrs old her life has depended on me. She's pretty but quite DUMB. So even though she's a grade higher than I am, I do her homework. She used to get straight F's now she gets straight A's because of me.She acts just like me for example my grammer, style, and intelligence (It might sound stupid but its reality). I even help her with dating. She has a myspace and whenever a guy asks her a ? she'll call me up and ask me 2 answer it. Everything she knows comes 4rm me! There is not 1 place in her life that im not in. & i'm tired of it, I want to live my own life and stop helping her with hers. Because everything she tells people comes from me not herself.So one day when she marries im not going to be there to help her!One thing that gets me irritated is that when I talk to her now she's starting 2 sound like me and say the same things I say.Help me!
2007-01-08 18:33:58 · 6 answers · asked by ♠lAUGhTERZ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Its not that easy to tell her "I dont want to talk to you leave me alone"!
2007-01-08 18:41:15 · update #1
I would just tell her that you love her as a friend.. but that you think she is a too dependant on you and that you don't like it anymore. She may feel pretty upset about this, but she needs to learn to do things on her own.
2007-01-08 18:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by Asia_Unscripted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself one question: "What will allow my friend to flourish and manifest her greatest potential?"
You have already sensed this question because you see that she is not self-sufficient in her own power, so you already have the insight. So now be clear about the question, and your pure motivation.
Of course one never really knows the answer to this (sorry) but with the goal in mind we are more likely to be hit by intuition and insight from time to time. For instance. When is failure going to wake her up? When is a straightforward conversation about her and the relationship you have going to happen?
Right now she is on welfare. Everything is handed to her. She never has to work for her own benefit. You always do it for her. Like welfre, when the hard journey we all go through, which is the SOURCE of much of our insight and understanding. is TAKEN AWAY, then we remain ignorant. Please don't think me harsh, but I must say, you are keeping her ignorant.
Not only that, but you are buying into the taken for granted assumption that she is "dumb" or "stupid". Shi is not. She may not have the sharp, penetrating mind you ahv. She may not be quick. She may not have the memory or the logical processes, but she my be able to feel things very deeply, or she may be able to see the beauty in situations that you can't or . . . I don't know. I don't know her. But don't think that she cannot look after herself. And don't think she does not have the inherent goodness of humanity that will allow her to move through the world with health and humor and love in a way that will attract richness towards her and allow her to feel fulfilled.
Short conclusion:
Change your attitude towards her inherent nature. See her as strong and wise in her own way. Find ways for her to see this for herself. Help her to be self-sufficient and allow her the richness of going through some hard times and struggle as it is a source of great insight and experience.
2007-01-09 02:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by Robyn T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad fact that childhood friends often don't stay friends. You have changed a lot since you were 4 years old, right? I'm not saying you should dump this friend, but sometimes people forget it is a possibility.
Try talking to her first, but don't be mean. Your friend is desperately lacking self confidence so you need to build her up, compliment her on her own decisions and choices, especially when they differ from yours and gradually she will do it more and more.
2007-01-09 02:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by sspade30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't dump her help her. Next time she ask you to help her give her an answer with a question example if a friend ask her out and she came asking you what she should do, give her two options and tell her to chose the best. This way she will learn to do thing herself. When it comes to homework do it with her not you doing the whole thing. Teach her how to be independent and if you really friends with her you will be patient with her until she learns it.
2007-01-09 03:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by auntsid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a new best friend and lose this one1
2007-01-09 02:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by panda bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS.
JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL.
2007-01-09 03:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by ~*~ISABELLA~*~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋