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hasnt seen the children in 5 years until recently now he wants to get a lawyer and take them from me. can he do that?

2007-01-08 17:09:44 · 28 answers · asked by lonely 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

what if there is proof of abuse but no charges were filed and he was notified of everything?

2007-01-08 17:55:33 · update #1

he has been paying child support he was also married the whole time we were together.

2007-01-08 17:56:53 · update #2

28 answers

Yes he can do it but the real question is will he be able to win this custody case in the court of law???? The fact he has ignored his children for 5 years goes against him for getting a permanent custody but there are other issues that will be seen in this case the most important is welfare of the children based on their age, income of parents, care which each of the parent can give for the better growth & development of the children & even the remmarriage of the parents. So dont worry let him file a case for the custody you can still get their custody if your case is storng enough on the grounds mentioned above. Although his right to see his children,meet them, & even keep them for short period of time always remain intact.

2007-01-08 17:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0 0

Sure he can do that but as soon as the lawyer gets all the facts they're going to demand a lot of money up front from the father. Most father's don't want to do that. Also the father isn't going to get anything more than joint custody with the child remaining in the home.
Don't worry. Sounds like a lot of manipulative fathers I've heard of. He's just trying to scare you...(into not asking for child support)

2007-01-08 17:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1 0

Everyone has the right to attain a lawyer and try bringing up some nonsensical lawsuit or custody fight.....It does not mean he will win or even get joint custody though. You just need to let it be known that he hasn't been a part of the childs life in five years, including the child support payments or lack thereof, and any undesirable things about him like legally (arrest record, drugs, drinking, abuse, etc.)

2007-01-08 17:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 5 · 0 0

He can try. If he can "demonstrate" that the children's living conditions with him would be better than they are with you (better housekeeping, better physical/mental health, better community safety, etc), he has a fighting chance...but he has to get past the 5 year absence first. Unless he can "demonstrate" that you're abusing/neglecting the children, the best that he can probably do is get visitation and come back later to request joint custody quite some time after actually re-establishing his relationship with your children.

Keep your nose clean. Keep your house clean and don't have your significant other spending the night, unless he/she is actually living with you and the children. Don't give the absent father any ammunition for a custody battle.

2007-01-08 17:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by strayt2duhpt 2 · 0 0

What a legal mess. You slept with a married man and had his illegitimate children. Classic. The best you can do for your children is allow them to bond and visit with there father as long as he doesn't abuse them. If he wants custody, it'll get messy and expensive to prove he is not worthy in light of your past, so work out visitations and continue getting his child support payments. What a time you'll have explaining this mess to your children when they become adults!

2007-01-08 18:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hun anybody can sue anyone for anything. Get yourself a good lawyer....write a journal of any and all things that have happened over the last 5 years....take it with you to the lawyers office. The father doesn't stand a very good chance, but everytime you walk into a courtroom you have a 50/50 chance of losing.

2007-01-08 17:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0 0

He can try, but chances are the courts won't let him, unless he proves that you are really unfit. And you would have to have done somethng really bad to be proven. Also, since he has been away for so long, it would be hard for him to prove that he has their best interests in mind, and he hasn't bonded. They won't hand over children to someone who by all accounts is a stranger at this point. Document everything, visitation and the amount of times he spends with them. Any phone calls made, any visitations he doesn't show up for, lack of involvement in school functions and life decisions. Keep track of everything. Courts like documentation to back up what is said in court. "He said she said" is not good enough. The person with the best records to back up their claims are usually better off.

2007-01-08 17:16:04 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 1 0

If he has the money to pay for a good lawyer, yes he can challenge you in court for the kids, seeing them or not. If he is stable, job, home, yes he can have shared custody, but I dont see any judge giving him the sole custody of the kids unless there is a doubt that you are a fit parent.

2007-01-08 17:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by sxysinglebrunette 3 · 1 0

He can try but the ball's in your court. Nothing looks worse to a judge than an absentee father. He has to face a lot of questions as to his role and his sudden interest in fatherhood. Does he or has he paid child support....etc. If he can prove your an unfit mother on the other hand he may have you, but it sounds as if he hasn't been around to be able to prove anything. He sounds like a manipulative bastard.

2007-01-08 17:16:53 · answer #9 · answered by manbearpig 4 · 1 0

He 'can' on the basis of there is nothing to stop him from doing so.

What he can accomplish based on that depends on you. So long as there is no overwhelming reason (neglect, abuse, abandonment, drug/alcohol use, etc) for him to come after the children with 100% expectation of winning, the best he can assume is shared custody or visiting rights.

2007-01-08 17:14:33 · answer #10 · answered by Lucy_Fur 3 · 1 0

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