do babys bring couples closer together?

Question

My husband seems to think that our baby that will be born next month will bring us closer together. As of right now we are seperated by his choice, he has moved out and he claimes he loves me but is not in love with me. he is 24yr old, this is our first child.
Do you think things will get better or worse once the baby is in the picture? what do you think he means by closer?

Answer 1

Babies don't make things better... It's a huge responsibility, and a big pain in the neck. If anything, it is a trying time for a couple. Your husband is living in a la-la land of excuses. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his marriage, and stop looking for external things to "make it better". Nothing will make it better if he himself behaves irresponsibly.

Answer 2

Babies usually do not bring people closer, they usually take away from the relationship I feel. The reason I feel this way is babies need so much attention and most men are not happy to give up what they have now. The stress alone is another subject, after the baby is born and the routine starts you have the days where the baby gets sick or is just crying and working on yours or his nerves, then the real stress starts adding up, it no longer puts the both of you together but it usually makes the two of you get at each other instead. After all you cannot take it out on a sick child so we seem to take out our anger out on the person we love instead. So I feel maybe at first the child may bring the two of you together but in the end babies usally tear apart the relationship with the daily stress added to the relationship.

Answer 3

Babies are a big responsibility and very stressfull and time-consuming. They put a burden on the best relationship. It is difficult for couple to find romantic time in order to cultivate their relationship and feel loving towards each other when the baby's needs are always first. Many husbands resent the attention the baby gets because the baby's needs are first because they are completely dependent. If your husband is not responsibility enough to stay with you during th pregnancy and work on your relationship, it probably won't get better once the baby's arrived. Furthermore, do you want to be with someone who is not in love with you? That is the oldest saying in the book that is nonsense. Loving someone and being in love is the same thing. If he really loved you, he'd be there supporting you through the pregnancy of your child and working on your relationship. Leave him out and start out as a single mom so that you will be used to the routine of caring for your child without him, it sounds like he already made his choice.

Answer 4

I am going to tell you what the old skoolers told me. Married or not married, having a baby doesn't keep no man!
Let me justify this answer for you. If he is a good man (ex. respects mom and all women in family, respects family and its well being, working, honest, most of all respects you.) Things may go for the better. He might need time to get his head together for you two, first bundle of joy. Maybe he is a little nervous. But if he don't reach those standards,then honey be prepared for many dissappointments. But most of all you two need to talk ( marriage requires alot of talks). You two need to be together compromising and hear each other concerns. Thats the part that brings a family closer. You two are a team, and a team on the same plan makes it better future for the new players arrival.
I hope i made sense.

Answer 5

I think every marriage is different and in some cases it does bring a couple closer. I think it bring them closer when they are already close. But, in your case your husband already moved out so its a more difficult situation. He might want to move back to make things work out for the baby. In my case when i had my baby it brought a lot of happiness and joy and it did bring us closer but that happiness only lasted one week because my little angel had heart problems. It's been over a year since this and we cant wait to have another baby and i know when we do it will make us a happier marriage. I really hope everything works out for you guys especially for the little one on the way. Good luck!

Answer 6

No, it will probably make it worse. Sorry to say that but more often than not its true. That is a lot of high expectations to put on such a small child. A relationship has to grow on its own merits. Adding other people (whether they are or children or not) only complicates the situation. If he is not IN LOVE with you now he won't be IN LOVE with you after the baby. He'll just be in love with the baby you just had. Good luck and congrats on soon being a new mommy.

Answer 7

I agree with your ending statement. In my experience as a first time wife and mom is that my husbands and my daughter had brought much stress and arguments for many different reasons. However, it brought us closer together because we know this beautiful little girl is someone we created and we have to raise into a good human being. Not to mention the love we have for her and how much joy she has brought to her life. So even though we stress and argue all the wonderful things she has given us is so much greater then anything bad. I think it's just hard at first because it takes time to adjust. Some people adjust well, for some it takes time and for others they just can't adjust.

Answer 8

Well babies are a mix. They're a lot of work. Mama especially can get tired ad have less energy toward her man. On the other hand kids are soooo cute and so wonderful. A lot depends also if the couple sees eye-to-eye on child-rearing. If you both want to raise a happy healthy smart one and you share a vision of how to make that come about - the new baby will be a blessing to your coupleship. On the other hand I've known guys who don't like kids, or don't like boys, or resent that their partner is tired so often and not feeling amorous or. Best of luck to you and your man.
And good luck with the birth. May your little one be bright and healthy.

Answer 9

A child can make or break a relationship. It all depends on the mentality of either parent, whether they really love the child n the partner or not. Alot of fathers only like to play with their kids when they feel like it, or they simply push to their wives the responsibilities of the child and walk off for their own enjoyment. For ur situation, a child will not bring both of u together. How can he be a responsible n good father and husband when he can actually say he loves u but he's not in love with u, while u're bearing his child?? Wake up ur idea n start to plan the future for u urself n ur child.

Answer 10

I don't think I'd wait on the baby to find out. Babies can bring you together... at first. But the responsibilities can also push you apart as time goes by. I hope for your sake that if he comes back it's for all the right reasons. People who marry because of a baby usually aren't happy for too long. I suppose the same could go for boyfriends and girlfriends.

Answer 11

Closer means closer - emotionally, physically, whatever. Possibly through communication. But be prepared, because whilst in the long term children may keep couples together, initially all the changing, sleepless nights and difficulties of adjustment, hormones etc do NOT bring people together, although the reality that this child is from both of you will hit home. Good luck.