I've started to realize that I may be attracted to emotional pain and hurt. I find that I put myself into situations where I will be hurt emotionally.
For example, I tend to crush on straight guys constantly and guys who can't and won't reciprocate those love and affection. i've thought about it a lot and i think that a part me secretly digs getting hurt and beat up on.
Are these feelings typical? do you think that i should be worried about this?
2007-01-08 16:39:31 · 11 answers · asked by Venus Mantrap 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I sort of agree with Janso's answer however, I don't think you learned the association between the negative feelings and love/affection is due to feeling bad and being comforted by your parents. I would explore the idea of whether the type of love and affection/attion you recieved as a child from your parents was in the form of negativity/rejection. This would make more sense if you are seeking rejection as well as attention. For example, did your parents ever make you feel ashamed or reject for your behaviors/feelings you had, or when you got in trouble? In some families, this type of attention is the only attention the child recieves and therefore associates yelling/abuse/rejection etc as affection because that is all they have ever known. Just something to explore.
2007-01-08 17:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Classical conditioning or operant conditioning are a theory into why you behave the way you do. Modifying your behaviour or cognitive thought processes is one way to get around this. The reality is that in your past you may have ran to a parent when you felt bad about something and then they comforted you. You now pair the negative feelings for the need to receive affection from your parent or anyone who will repeat the same behaviour and make you feel comfortable. It is important to understand that at different age groups we have different hormones going through our body, and they also can result in different moods. Only modification of our thought processes or medication from a professional can help. Another alternative is to refocus on career and personal goals and get out of the rut through exercise and pre-occupation with other patterns of behaviour. Get to the gym, get out of bed or off the couch and get busy with the one life you have. Good luck.
2007-01-09 01:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by Janso 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i get the sense that you are longing for love afection and trying to find it anywhere. The problrm with this is if you know that these men are not going to be attracted you you are setting yourself up for failure. A simple solution would be to stop going after these men. ing this would stop the emotional pain. It sounds like you coul duse some individual counseling to work through your emtional issues and try to change your thinking. Finding a therapist that uses a cognitive behavoral approach would be best
2007-01-09 00:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately worry, cause it might get you killed. Straight guys are offended when gay guys are attracted to them. They view it as a challenge of their sexuality. It's like talking to a white dude about his political views.
The reason you're doing it is because like women, you are attracted to people that abuse and reject you; it makes you even more attracted to them. It's because of your subconscious.
Naturally women are attracted to men that are abusive because their brain picks up a signal that HE IS A GOOD ROLE-MODEL FOR MY CHILDREN; he is genetically and emotionally strong. That is why when you are abused, you are misreading the sign that THIS PERSON HAS NO INTEREST IN ME; instead your brain is thinking HE JUST PASSED MY EMOTIONS TEST, HE'S THE PERFECT CANDIDATE.
In my opinion, you need to realign your thinking a bit.
2007-01-09 00:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by cheesewhiz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously you know that this state is not normal behavior or you wouldn't enquire.....yeah? by the same token, you've chosen to walk an unorthodox path, in life, as it is. with this in mind i beg the question "what exactly is normal in your philosophy?"
if you have any plans to be a presentable and active part of the professional world, then you do need to worry about your activities, be they private or not. this is not to mention your own self destruction. i think that you need the intervention of somebody's wisdom and concern. just who's, well, i'm at a loss.i just hate to see anyone deliberately throw themselves in harms way.
well there you have it. the proverbial ball is in your court, back at you....as it were.
2007-01-09 01:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your screen name is baby boy...does that present a clue? I've known gay men who hated gay men. They would only have sex with "straight" men. Their favorite place to live was next to the marine base. I suspect that they had to be very talented in social skills to survive. I suspect that you are not so skilled. Get help. Does the ending of brokeback moutain excite you or scare you?
2007-01-09 01:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by charlie at the lake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not uncommon to desire what you can't have. And it's not that you're attracted to emotional pain, you just seem to put yourself in harms way. You're open and honest with your feelings and vulnerable to getting hurt. Stop that before you physically hurt yourself and destroy Gods gift to you.....LIFE.
2007-01-09 00:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by ♨ Wisper ► 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you should feel about your situation. I do know that it is called "sadistic", and some people like being that way. As a joke I tell people I'm the happiest when I'm the sad-ist.
2007-01-09 00:55:17 · answer #8 · answered by ThinkaboutThis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
Time to figure out why.
Try this website
2007-01-09 00:49:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bummer. Yes, I'd be worried.
2007-01-09 00:47:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋