What should I do with my time now?

Question

I'm currently in first year university, Civil Engineering, for that matter. It was extremely frustrating with not much help from the faculty and I ended up failed my first term and it really forced my to analyze what I decisions I've been making up to this moment.

Being in an Asian family, my parent starting drowning me in studies and tutors and what not when I was a kid and I ended up accepting getting good grades as the most important thing I could achieve. It was now that I finally realize that what I have been doing was wrong and that I ended up sacrificing a lot of friends and memories I could of had for grades.

I wish to regain some time to experience life but I'm having trouble deciding because now that I'm in university, I have almost no time. What should I do with my time now?

Answer 1

I almost flunked out my first term freshman year - it was devastating. Turns out many smart people have this problem, but no one wants to talk about it, which makes it hard to deal with.

Part of my problem was that high school was easy, so when things went bad it really shook my self-confidence. Happily I managed to recover and graduate, and things got a easier.

The worst thing you could do is sacrifice your time and end up in a career you hate. The second worst thing you could do is not graduate at all!

However, engineering is a good field - I think most civil engineers are pretty happy on the job, and I'd bet you would be too.

My advice: don't drop out, but reduce your class load until you are sure you are pursuing what you really want, and also until you recover your confidence. Try some classes in a different field.

Keep trying to find a professor who will advise you - remember the parable of the widow and the judge - you can wear them down if you are polite and don't give up too soon.

Convince your parents that you are thinking strategically and be persistent - they will come around after some initial resistance.

Answer 2

I can understand your situation especially since I lived with asians when I was in college. Asians are extremely resourceful, hardworking, efficient, and the most driven individuals I have ever met.
Asians didnt create honda and toyota (two of the most well built cars in the world) for nothing!
But I realized that being that driven and not having a balanced life and working too hard comes with a price---its called unhappiness.
If you can stop and smell the roses once in a while you will see that life is more than just hardwork. Its also about memories, friendships, relationships, and having fun.

You may want to talk to your school counselor and tell him/her your situation. They can help.
I didnt go back until my 30's and when I went back to college later in life i graduated with high marks because I had gained more experience. But nonetheless it was a feat I wouldnt have accomplished without taking some time off and creating some memories and gaining some real world experience. I feel my mind has expanded and i could think more critically in school from the life experiences and the memories I created along the way-----which I will cherish forever! However everyone is quite different. On the other hand, you may want to put your nose to the grindstone and get it over with. School is like bad medicine. It tastes bad but its good for you in the end. Just dont give up. Take small baby steps.

Answer 3

Understand that your parents have nothing but good intentions for you. It’s a very good thing that you are questioning what it is you want to do with your live. Most people that I know have pretty much allowed their parents to dictate just about every choice for them. You’re an individual and the choices that you make are going to make you an individual. If you feel that you’ve lost so many good things for something as superficial as grades, why do you continue to torture yourself? Is it to keep your parents happy? Is it to get a degree? While you are doing these things, it seems like you’re not doing any of it for yourself. No one can tell you what to do, but whatever you’re going to do, make sure that you’re happy with it. If you feel that school isn’t fulfilling to your life, find and do something that is. Your parents might get upset at you, but I am pretty sure that after a few hugs, they’ll remember that you have your own life to lead and that they should be supportive of the choices that you make. Be happy with every decision that you make so that you will not have regrets in the future about choices long gone. Use whatever time you have to figure out what it is you want for yourself.

Answer 4

You will not regret finishing school first. Friends should stand by your goals and grades knowing you can't be there for them right now. You want to be something in life then check out your friends again after graduation.
You will have a great job then, knowledge you had not had before.

Answer 5

You might think about forming study groups with other students. You'll get a lot out of your studies, plus form bonds and possibly lasting friendships with them.

As for your free time, it's hard to say, not knowing what you enjoy doing. Check out the clubs on campus, or try reconnecting with old friends you've lost touch with.

Answer 6

u need to live-education is important-having goals and a plan for ur financial life is important, but having a social life and as u said having friends and making memories is important too...all work and no play makes you a dull peron is true-u have to let go sometimes and just relax and enjoy life-otherwise you will look back years from now and regret it-stay on ur path but take time to also smell the roses as they say..:-)