Ok today I didn't go to school because I had a doctor's appointment. My mom insisted on a gynecological exam for me even though I'm not sexually active and still a virgin but I have a boyfriend and one of my friends just got pregnant from her boyfriend. It's really sad that she doesn't trust me and accepted my word that Jamie and I only kiss and cuddle a little bit. Jamie's mom took him to the doctor too and I don't know what a doctor could possibly tell her. My understanding is that you can't tell anything about a boy and what he's been up to from just examing his thing. They think that JUST BECAUSE some people we know went too far that we are going to also. I didn't complain much because I'm afraid she would tell me Jamie and I can't be together anymore. I asked Jamie how he felt about haviing to see a doctor and he said he didn't mind he does whatever his mom wants him too. He said the doctor checked his blood and urine and well other places too.
2007-01-08 16:14:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Oh gosh!! all you people are sooo wonderful for answering my question. I simply can't choose the best answer. I carefully read all the answers. Oh ya the gyn exam didnt show ANYTHING abnormal. Jamie's exam proved nothing much except that he's a VERY innocent 13 year old boy with an innocent 13 year old best girl (ME!! well not quite that innocent lol lol) who are doing NOTHING. Anyway I'm not going to even try picking a best answer because all of your answers qualify for best answer.
2007-01-10 12:47:10 · update #1
Trust your mother. It's normal for a parent to freak out when they find out that your friends are doing things that they shouldn't be doing. It's good for you to see a gyno anyway just to make sure all your reproductive organs are working right. Parents are not always right but most of the time they are. Talk to your mother. Tell her that she has raised you good and ask her doesn't she trust the work that she has put into raising you. Tell her that she has taught you good values and morals and you are living by those.
2007-01-08 17:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by Dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have mixed feelings on the issue. Yes I understand it is hard for parents not to trust a child, but I don't think they should not trust them UNTIL that trust is broken..
I also don't think either parent should force their children to go to gyno's, yes it is beneficial but it doesn't even seem like they clearly explained what went on for the two of you? For instance, you don't seem to maybe comprehend that they can't detect from looking at a girl or boy that they're a virgin or not. Or what are the reasons behind getting a pap-smear, or why they would have taken your boyfriends blood?
I think it should have been willingly and that they should have explained everything to y'all. You basically come out, you'll get your results and won't know of anything of what happened. And furthermore your mom probably still won't believe you because the results don't say VIRGIN across them.
I still go with the very first thing I said, that if the children/teens aren't doing anything wrong and haven't disobeyed their trust. Then there should be no reasons for the parents not to trust them. They shouldn't have that fear of not trusting them just because of everyone else in the neighborhood.
2007-01-09 02:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by mtoWCS09 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not you she does not trust, it is your hormons. I am a mom and told my child that often. I was a teen girl once to and I know there are times where the hormons just kick in and your brain totaly turns off. There is something in the teen mind that wants to break away from mom and dad and not tell them any thing. You can't help that it is just part of being a teen.
I think your mom is did the right thing. It is best to check things out before you start using them. It is better to have to much inormation then to little.
2007-01-09 14:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by DDLynn l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case I think it's great that your mom took you to your first gynecological exam. They are very important! It isn't that she doesn't trust you. It isn't that she thinks you are having sex but sex is a part of human nature. Sure, you can abstain but do you know how many teenagers can and do? Not many, therefore, your mom has reason to believe that someday you may have sex. She just wants you to be prepared for it. Your parents and boyfriend's parents probably see what a great job you are doing to fulfill your dreams and want to guarantee that happens as well. Just be happy she just took you. This way, even if you do abstain, there is one less thing you have to worry about!
2007-01-09 00:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom just wants you to be safe. Gyno exams are not just for STD's or pregnancy. They can tell if you may have cancer or any other abnormalities that could cause problems in your future. The sooner you catch things like that the better! As for your mom trusting you, you need to sit down and have a calm, rational talk with her. Be open and honest, and let her be open and honest with you too. Good Luck!
2007-01-09 00:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is absolutely normal for your mom not to trust you.
If she told to stay away from boys in a sexual manner, and you have been messing around doing as much as you can besides actual penis/vaginal penetration...
HELLO-then what do you expect her to think? Remember she was a kid once too you know?
You need to be reminded that sexually transmitted diseases are not just transmitted through the vaginal walls. You can get STD's in your mouth too!
Yucky.
Just food for thought... remember these words the next time you think you might like to try an oral exam down some guys throat with your tongue.
2007-01-09 09:15:39 · answer #6 · answered by beagle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most of the time teenagers/kids do not tell their moms and dads that they are having sex. They proably checked him for std's. Your mom is only doing this cause she does not want you to become a teenage mommy. It is hard to trust a teenager when they do have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Just try to look at the sitiuation from your mom's point of view.
2007-01-09 00:32:45 · answer #7 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents should have educated their children good enough to be able to trust them and kids should be honest to their parents ,this can only happen if both sides are honest and do not get angry at whatever the honesty reveals
if parents get mad at what they discover about their kids ,too much or unreasonably ,they only force the children to lie for the sake of peace.
2007-01-09 00:21:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its great that your parents actually care enough to try to keep you safe from these types of things. You learn eventually that they do these things to protect you from messing up your life. My parents were the exact same way with me, and i hates them at the time, but as I grew up i started to figure out that they were this way because they cared, and that is more than I can say for many parents.
2007-01-09 02:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by Bryan G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way i see it isshe is just being a mother who is looking out after her little girl. so prove her wrong. when your results come back and they say ou are a virgin then it's the time to talk to her let her know how her not trusting you made you feel give her reason to believe tat you wont be doing anything and that when you do decide that you are ready that you will let her know so you can be safe about your decision.(birth control)
2007-01-09 00:20:34 · answer #10 · answered by Jamie W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋