I have a question about the book Siddhartha again?

Question

Please help me with the quote:

"The thinker, slowly going on his way, suddenly stood still, gripped by this thought, and another thought immediately arose from this one. It was: The reason why I do not know anything about myself, the reason why Siddhartha has remained alien and unknown to myself is due to one thing, to one single thing--I was afraid of myself, I was fleeing from myself."

Please help me specifically explain this quote. Sorry, it's just this book is so complicated. I highly appreciate it.

Answer 1

When people are afraid to face their true selves, they may mask or bury their thoughts in "denial" or "delusion." Instead of digging deeper to understand their true nature, they hide this behind a safer reality they create, usually to go along with social norms expected of them. So when they realize they are lying to themselves, they become aware they don't know themselves but are afraid to look inside and see what it really there.

So people realize that "fear" blocks them from seeking the truth, including understanding their own true nature instead of hiding it.

Note: Here, the author only mentions fear in general of oneself. But there can be several levels of fear; the root fear is "fear of the unknown" but there is also "fear of change" or "fear of conflict" that prevents people from feeling able to face up to their true selves or resolving conflicts as they become aware of them.

So the fact that the author mentions one thought arising from another could show this added level of awareness -- not only of the truth itself, but the reason the person has a conflict with it.

Answer 2

I haven't touched this book in a while, but i think it's trying to say how he can't cope with his inner self, and he can't connect since he tried to kill himself off in the beggining of the book, he killed off all of his inner soul that he just lost his identity. ps i know that sounds stupid