I went to play in a card tournament. Granted it was in bar where some idiots usually can be obnoxious but something was said to a friend of mind who has been with his partner over 30 years. He won with a pair of Queens & the guy who is also a friend of his said "yeh how poetic I lose to a pair of Queens to a gay" My friend didn't say anything it was like he was used to that kind of talk. Does anyone else think that is such a shame? I told the guy to shut up but I figured if it didn't bother my friend then maybe I was just being defensive. What's your opinion?
2007-01-08 15:31:48 · 15 answers · asked by gitsliveon24 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Your friends joke was in bad taste.
I am gay and most of my friends are straight, I get that kind of crap a lot. I have learned to give it right back and I know my friends don't mean anything by it...but still it can hurt.
In some ways it is a testament to acceptance. For many homophobic men even being able to joke about it to someone in a manner that is not openly cruel is actually a step forward.
As little kids always hit other kids they really like...adults sometimes over do the "he is my buddy I can say whatever I want and it won't hurt his feelings card" a bit too much.
You did good by speaking up!
2007-01-08 17:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by chuck 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I have straight friends, who if said that, I would find it hilarious. It would all depend on his tone of voice. You were there, not me, so I can't tell what he meant when he said it.
I do know that my sexuality is not the be all and end all of my life. And sometimes, the little "zingers" are just to good to pass and I gotta give them their dues, after all, I can give as well as I take! lol!
So, I guess I just have thicker skin and my friends and family DO KNOW I have set limits NOT TO PUSH, EVER! I'm out and very proud so I'm not going to take abuse, but sometimes you have to realize that all the education in the world won't change someone's mind or EDUCATE THEM. At that point, why bother? Your wasting your breath and their time.
2007-01-08 23:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You were right to say something. Sometimes people let their mouths move faster than their brains can stop them. This person was just upset that he lost to a gay guy. I wonder what he would've said, in the same situation, except it was a strait biker? Kinda makes you wonder doesn't it? I wonder if the strait guy would've made a comment at all!
2007-01-08 23:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by momofatsc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I certainly don't think that making gay jokes or saying derogatory comments towards gay people is accebtable, but maybe in that situation it is ok. After all, it was coming from one of his friends. Maybe thats the kind of relationship they have. They are both ok with his sexuality and are able to joke around about it. If your friend didn't mind the joke, you should be ok with it too. Just my opinion!
2007-01-08 23:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People don't know the golden rule anymore. The world would be a much better place if people would learn to respect others and stop being so shallow.
2007-01-08 23:38:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
people are shallow, who cares, obviously an idiot! But your friend was right to ignore the guy, because he was just trying to make you upset... Just be secure in who you are, and dont let people offend you, because people dont have respect! Good Luck.
2007-01-08 23:40:32 · answer #6 · answered by jodi c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in someways it's a great thing that you stood up, but if they are friends he may have thought it was funny i like gay jokes from some of my friends, but i also like it when someone stands up for me, sometimes i get tired of standing up for myself, and it makes me feel good when there is some people out there that doesn't hate me and just thinks of me as another human. i think in think case you should ask your friend if it bothered him, i personally think situations like that are a tad funny. but in any other situation i think your thought of defending him is a wonderful thing.
2007-01-08 23:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by truthbear1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let your friend deal with it it isn't your problem. if your gay friend doesn't like the way he was talked to then maybe he shouldn't be in that bar. and if it offend you that much maybe you should stay at home the next time. besides you called them "idiots" what does that say about you?
2007-01-09 02:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by tim s 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
aw does king of people are ignorant and your friend did the right thing by shining it on. it is best to ignore those comments because they mostly want to show off with there stupid comments
2007-01-08 23:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by eca1094 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you say nothing and just stare at the person who said something inappropriate, sometimes it makes them uncomfortable.
2007-01-08 23:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋