Just wanted to throw this one out there. People are entitlted to their privacy, but to what extent? You can read a lot about wives/girlfriends snooping on their husbands/boyfriends computer due to lack of trust or for whatever reason. I don't condone this behavior, but is it not just as bad to hide for example pornographic material from your partner. Is this not a form of lack of trust? If both parties are adults then why the secrecy? What if the female was as equally interested in porn and enjoyed it as well, would there still be a need for it to be locked away?
Very curious...
2007-01-08 15:25:49 · 33 answers · asked by betty p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Mine hides the porn too although he knows I dont give a damn anyways. I think it's a habit from when they're teenagers and having to hide the porn from mom. Maybe?
2007-01-08 15:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by michelle a 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
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2016-07-26 12:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As with anything in a relationship...if it hurts the other person then it's wrong. Porn can enhance a relationship that is open to it...but if it's "hidden", when why is it hidden? Is the partner who watches the porn embarrassed by it or do they know that their partner would be hurt by the knowledge of their secret? A true couple would be able to discuss the issue of pornograqhy as well as any other important part of their relationship. Therefore there would be no reason for secrecy. You're right....it all comes down to trust...and trusting your partner sexually. If you're hiding porn due to embarrassment...get over it. You can't have a sexual relationship with someone if you can't discuss your fantasies. If your partner doesn't want pornography as a part of your relationship and you CAN'T give it up for her/him, then you need to be looking for a new partner, not hiding it.
2007-01-08 15:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by motomouth_1965 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can privacy without hiding things. Married partners both masturbate and there are times they want privacy. I just don't see a problem with it.
If a partner is reading/viewing porn I don't think it should be a secret or hidden. People have to have room to do the things they enjoy. If the case is that both partners enjoy the only one I would lock it away from are the kids.
Snooping and not trusting is a symptom of a larger problem in the relationship. You have to have confidence in your relationship. It is just not worth having with out that.
2007-01-08 15:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by reddemonwi55 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right.
Everybody has a right to privacy, but you do need to know who you are living with.
And, it's like you said, it may well be that the woman is equally interested in the magazines as well;
I think I would be disappointed and probably angry If I were to have a partner who would hide that type of things from me, because it's a form of lie isn't it, by omission.
Besides, unless it's something totally inappropriate they're looking at, like unnatural sex relations, or violence, I don't see why I would have a problem with the guy.
Also, you want to know if it's something which is on their mind constantly;
In a word, yeah, you do need to know your partner to be able to trust him and respect his privacy, or run for your life!
2007-01-09 04:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The act of hiding it suggests the lack of trust or understanding, so yes, hiding porn would be wrong. If both parties want to look at porn, it is their choice. The time to lock it away would be when there are children involved.
2007-01-08 15:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both woman and man are equally wrong if he's secretly looking at porn and she's snooping on his computer and finds it. Both of them have something to hide- and withholding information is equally as bad as lying. However, I don't think there's anything wrong with a couple looking at it together...whatever floats their boat. But honesty is a key point in establishing a meaningful relationship, and neither person in this scenario is being fully honest with their partner.
2007-01-08 15:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by xxhalloqueenxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fact. The vast majority of men have porn stashed away somewhere. I have always been honest with girlfriends about it and it didn't seem to bother them much.
You can't get anywhere near as much joy from a magazine as you can from hanging with a vibrant, jolly female human being.
Porn ought not to be a threat to a relationship, it is for most men, merely a diversion.
2007-01-08 17:00:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It not alright to hide the porn. Most women after a while start to get that other woman feeling. In other words they start to feel like the porn is taking there man away and replacing them. They get jealous over it. Most that i come across don't like it. They feel like there man is giving themselves to the porn instead of them. Some call it a slippery slope' You can go either way. But' If a woman truly loves her man she will not like it and she will not want to share him with it.
2007-01-08 15:44:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no its not OK. from my own experience it was horrible to find pron on our puter at home from web sites. also my EX notice i call him my ex he picked up his new wife from a porn chat room where they traded pictures and yes i found out after i found out he was cheating on me with her and that's why hes now my ex. but also if there are kids in the house and they have the magazines they need to keep them hidden from the kids but not from there partner. my ex had magazines but what could he do with the book. totally different if on puter. i just think its totally wrong to keep any secrets in a relationship. that starts the trust issue up and once trust is gone the marriage/relationship is done. i hope this help you.
2007-01-08 15:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hide it from the kids by all means - but not from each other. My ex liked porn and we used to read it together - then have fun.
Partners should accept their other half for what they are.
2007-01-08 23:17:57 · answer #11 · answered by intelligentbutdizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋