Or should all this be handled only with the judge, lawyers and couple concerned? Wouldn't the appearance of in-laws and parents be a conflict in the matter? Should a small child of the couple be there in court matters?
2007-01-08 15:08:30 · 18 answers · asked by stives51 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only the couple getting divorced, the judge, and lawyers should be present. It is their marriage that is dissolving, no one else's. Frankly, it is no one else's business, and they will definately complicate the proceedings (if they're even allowed in the room). They'll make accusations uglier, because the couple will be concerned with "saving face" in front of their families.
Children should not be present at the divorce proceedings either. Things can get ugly, and kids don't need to hear that. There will be separate hearings later, involving custody, where it MIGHT be appropriate for the children to attend (depending on their age).
2007-01-08 15:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally speaking, it is a bad idea to have members of the extended family present during court proceedings. No matter how reasonable or restrained they may be in normal life, a divorce is the kind of event that can test even the most peaceable of people. It may also influence the responses of the couples to the judge and/or attorneys present -- which may affect the results of the divorce in ways hard to realize until much later.
For example, even if violence was not present in a marriage, how would a father react to his daughter being asked this question if she paused, thought about it a moment, and then said "Not really?"
Or, if a mother heard an attorney ask her son if he'd ever had problems performing his marital duties in bed?
These are exaggerations, of course, but you get the point.
I personally don't believe it is ethical to have the small child of the couple present in the court. Who would hold the child? Which set of grandparents? One of his friends/relatives? One of hers?
Worse yet, if the child is at all capable of understanding the events going on, they may internalize some of it. Talking about the divorce is something that should happen, but this kind of conversation should happen in a safe, comfortable environment: Not on the day of court, not in front of a judge, and certainly not when emotions may be high.
2007-01-08 15:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by CarinaPapa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the parents and the in- laws should not be at the divorce proceeding. That should be between the two that are getting the divorce if the truth were known the in-laws are probably the reason for the divorce anyway, And NO a small child should not be there either the way children think the child will probably blames his/her self anyway.
2007-01-08 15:14:17 · answer #3 · answered by butterflybaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No as far as the small child goes. There is no need to put them through all that. They certainly wouldn't understand it. As for the parents I would say that depends on the couple. I know I was there for my daughter during her divorce. It was for moral support and she felt relieved she didn't have to be there by herself. It gave her someone to lean on during a difficult time. That is all up to the couple and won't make any difference to the lawyers or the judge.
2007-01-08 15:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by GPHS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce Court, while in the category of "kangaroo", and the presiding "elected" judge is deemed not qualified to preside over more complicated criminal and civil law, Family law is pretty cut and dry, Men get hosed (sometimes justifiably) and women reap the harvest, (sometimes unjustifiably). It is a hearing and is open to the public. Anybody can go. Taking a child is just bad judgment, but then again they are in divorce court, right!
Take a bag of popcorn sometime and sit in, better than day time television.
2007-01-08 15:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by John H B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the parents of the couple should not be there unless there is to be a hearing and they are witnesses. NO WAY should young children be in the court room and most courts wont even allow children of any age in the court room. That is "adult" business children shouldnt be drug into it. A "small" child can not even decide where they want to live and more then likely will NEVER be questioned in front of the parents.
2007-01-08 15:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on their insights. Some people use their parents as character witnesses. My personal feelings is if one must have his parents at the divorce proceedings that person wasn't mature enough to get married in the first place. As for the kids. Keep them away from the court hearings. The court will ask for them in due time.
2007-01-08 15:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My goodness, it all sounds like a family circus (sorry, no disrespect intended). I mean, a divorce is painful enough for the two people going through the divorce, why make it harder by parading the family and in-laws at it. In my opinion, that all spells disaster. I think only the two people going through the divorce should be there. After all it is them getting the divorce right? It is already painful enough - the chance of family drama in court makes it a whole lot worse.
2007-01-08 15:13:29 · answer #8 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A divorce is between two people, not the kids, and not the parents. Divorce is so difficult, why drag all the people that you love into a difficult situation that for the most part they did not cause.
FINO
2007-01-08 15:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by FINO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion the only people who should be there is the judge, the lawyers and the divorcing couple.
Everybody else should stay away.
2007-01-08 15:13:56 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋