Would you be mad if your husband..?

Question

My husband goes out all the time with his buddies. Some nights they decide to "cruise" and come here late at night during the week sometimes after 11 at night and watch tv (loud) and talk and drink beer. I am usually in my pjs and ready for bed; i work very early and we have a young son who sometimes wakes up when this is going on. I am sick of it we live in an apartment too so all the rooms are so close. It is not like i can go anywhere else to sleep. I feel my privacy is being invaded and I am not comfortable in my own home with these guys around at night. Anyone understand this and would you be pi$$ed too?

Answer 1

OH YEAH!!! I would be pissed. I would put my foot down and stop that NOW. You and your child deserve respect. Tell him to go with his friends to their house, play loud music, drink and wake up their family. That want last long. If this does not happen, tell him your going to get some rest some place, maybe some place else if it happens again. And back it up. You and that baby deserve better. I would have already run his butt off , long time ago.

Answer 2

I would be EXTREMELY pi$$ed. Some people are just so self involved and thoughtless... doesn't he even stop to consider how this affects you? And if he does think about it he obviously doesn't give a damn how it affects you otherwise he would realise that it can't go on.
I think you should tell him exactly how much this bothers you, and give logical reasons why. Men generally respond to and understand logic much better than arguments based on emotion.
Take a stand and tell him if it doesn't stop then one of you is going to have to leave so you can get some sleep. I'm not saying break up with him or anything but hopefully that threat will pull him into line. Tell him if he wants to drink and be loud to go to a bar with his buddies, don't bring them home. If he can't respect you enough to recognise that what he is doing is ruining your health and happiness, and stop it, then I think there's a serious problem there. Good luck I hope you can work it out : )

Answer 3

I think your husband and you need to talk about this. He doesn't think there is nothing wrong with it, but he doesn't have consideration with you trying to sleep to get to work the next day. I would be mad too.

If he goes "cruising" with his friends and comes home late, drinking, talking etc....especially all the time, that should tell you that he is living like he is single again. Seems like he is immature and not ready to settle down. He should be spending those times with you and your son and limit his time out with his friends.

Your right, your privacy is being invaded and your husband needs to let these guys know that you live there too. Or you need to let your husband know that you live there too.

So when you talk to your husband about this, wait till he is sober the next day, maybe after dinner when you put your son to bed. Be calm and polite about it and just tell him that you would appreciate it if you limit your time with your friends etc...Tell him what you have posted here, but with kind words. If this behavior continues, then you may have to not have his friends over anymore. If your husband gets upset at you because you chased his friends away, then that will tell you that he cares more of his friends than you and your son.

Answer 4

Sad to say that I was that guy about 30 years ago. After about 2 years of this show off drunken behaviour my ex finally had enough and packed my bags for me. Although I resented it at the time it truly was a wake up call and I ended up sobering up, for all the wrong reasons initially, and becoming a better and more responsible person because of it. We never reunited but remain good friends to this day and are at a lot of family functions together as we have two granddaughters now. Many men just don't outgrow the need to be one of the guys and attempt to lead the single life rather then the life of a responsible mature married man. I do not blame you at all for being pissed and hopefully you can resolve this without going to the measure that happened to me. Best of luck. Sorry for being a male and answering your question but wanted to put my two cents worth in also.

Answer 5

If you have lived with this for very long, then I'm surprised you haven't left him yet.
You are obviously a young person who isn't too 'UP' on how marriage is supposed to be.
#1. You are married to a 'real jerk' who only thinks of himself.
#2. The next chance you get you should be looking for somewhere else to live.
#3. This guy does 'NOT' love you or he wouldn't do this to you.
#4. He has absolutely 'NO' respect for you either.
So why in the "hell' are you with him..
#5. Your child is also woken up by them sometimes, which only
'proves' what a low-life, husband and father he really 'IS'.

Answer 6

You say you are married. Well, it is time for you to put your foot down. Start talking to him. let him know how you feel. If the fellas are coming over and staying late that means at least one of them is eying you in your PJ's. You need to tell your hubby that he is wrong for his business. You have to work in the morning, he should have more respect. Tell him they need to leave at a certain time and that is at least a couple hours before you go to bed. I have been there and done that. They thought I was a mean B I TCh, but I didn't care because he was my husband. He will get enough of that hanging out too. open your mouth girl, express yourself. Have a heart to heart. Make him understand where you are coming from...

Answer 7

What would you rather have ?,,,, A guy that goes out by himself and you don't know who he's with or what he's doing ? ,,,, At least when he's out with the guys you know who he's with ,,,, I agree that he should be more considerate of you if you are a co bread winner ,,,, You should let him know where you stand concerning the disturbance ,,,, It just might be possible that he hasn't thought of that so if you haven't already then it's time to tell him and see what happens after that ,,,, But looking at this situation as a whole I think you could probably be worse off than you are now ,,,, I would let him know about the noise though and have no qualms about it ,,,, It is your home too and the only place you have to rest ,,,, Good luck ,,,,

Answer 8

Its still going on for a reason... You should be asking advice on how to put a stop to it. The once a week idea is good, only it should only be 2 times a month and that goes both ways, with the other watching the son. A lifestyle change girl!!

Answer 9

Of course - He doesn't want to fall into the "whole marriage thing" He thinks he can have it all.... Let you have the responsibility... I mean if you don't handle it - he won't either...
WHat do yo do? you can't threated them - they just do it more! If you try to restrict them they act like your a warden, hell if you put a curfew on - he probably wouldn't come home. So would you rather have him deal with it at home than have him go somewhere else?

I would be pissed - and I don't think there is an answer - You have to deal with it until you can't take it anymore or he grows out of it.

Good Luck - I am pissed off for you!GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Answer 10

I know my wife would be mad if I did that, and if my wife were to do the same, I'd be mad too.

But I can totally understand why wives would be mad if their husbands do that. If I go out with the guys, and my wife is in bed when I come home, I am respectful and keep it quiet. Usually when I come home, I head right to bed anyways.