I just started school full time for Nursing. I already have a B.S. Degree that I received in 1999.?

Question

I am just nervous about being in school again at the age of 31. I feel like I really haven't accomplished much in my life. I am divorced, haven't been able to hold a stable job, and I can sometimes compromise my values (such as lie to my parents about losing my last job). I feel stressed out because I am moving to a new house this week, started school, will be working 30 hours per week soon, Getting married next month, and I feel financially strained. I know my fiance has been so dissapointed in me the last few months. I know that I haven't been easy to love, but I keep wondering if he resents me. I have been feeling really insecure lately with him. I also have been experiencing a lot side effects from the anti-depressant I was on. He thinks that I have a weak will. Maybe I do? Whenever I think about this I start to really hate myself. Am I not a strong person? Maybe I just have to prove myself to him, my family, and me. I don't want my fiance to resent me.

Answer 1

First off...you have to realize that no matter how hard you try, you will never please everyone...so please yourself...do whatever makes YOU happy and fullfilled, because at the end of the day, YOU are the only person you have to answer to. Secondly...stop making up lies to tell your parents. You're a 31 year old WOMAN...there is no need to explain your personal or professional failure to them. Just learn from your mistakes and they become valuable lessons for your future. Your fiance is obviously happy with you or he would not be your fiance...sure he probably realizes you're going thru a difficult time right now. But he also realizes it's temporary and is willing to see you thru. You have far too much going on right now with a wedding, school, moving and working...so decrease your stress by dumping the guilt! You don't need any more added to your load! Give yourself a break and do the best you can TO PLEASE YOURSELF...others will be happy for you. If they're not, then it's their problem, not yours! Live your life in a way that makes you happy and proud to be you...those who love you will support you no matter what....and those who don't, you shouldn't worry about! Now...Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, your new home, and I wish you the best in pursuing your nursing degree! Look forward...not back.

Answer 2

Don't worry about going back to school, 31 is far from over-the-hill! Unless you are already nursing, and know what you are getting into, let me tell you that it can be a pretty stressful occupation. Talk to some people who have been doing it awhile, and make sure that is what you want to do. Don't get in over your head financially, don't spend money you haven't earned yet- this will only cause more stress for you personally and in your relationship. Don't buy things because everyone else has them. Has your fiance' said he is disappointed in you, or are you assuming this to be the case? Talk to him! I have had periods of serious depression, too. No anti-depressant ever helped. When I've been depressed , it has been because there was something in my life that I needed to change, but either was afraid to change, or didn't want to face the issue. As soon as I faced these issues, and started to take steps to change what needed to be changed, the depression lifted almost immediately. I hate to say it, but maybe you need to postpone the wedding- TRUST YOUR GUT! If something doesn't feel right, don't do it, no matter who you think will be disappointed. This could save you alot of future heart-ache. One more thing, why do you think you haven't accomplished much? DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!!

Answer 3

I would imagine that your fiance is very proud of you whether he lets you know this verbally or not. He may be concerned over fiancial situation also but after your graduation you will be able to contribute to living arrangements also. I, like yourself went back to school as a mature student at the age of 30. Prior to that I had been at many low paying jobs with little or no chance of advancement, so decided to better my lot in life. I found out that we as adults were far more serious about our studies than the younger students who were away from the parents house for the first time and where more interested in partying than studying. Believe in yourself and trust that you are doing the best thing for yourself (most importantly), your children, fiance and parents. All will be very proud of you when you graduate and you will be a far more confident, loving and caring individual. I wish you the best of luck in your studies and your life.

Answer 4

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Regarding your issue... It sounds a little like you haven't met your own expectations and are therefore assuming that others are dissapointed with you. I started undergraduate work about a year after I married, at the age of 26. I'm now 37 and have two masters degrees. They've come slowly, but surely. Set goals for yourself. Landmark goals like completing such degree. Then work backwards with benchmarks such as X number of classes completed by X date. As for the issue with your fiance: you must first love yourself. If you hate yourself (as you mentioned), then it will be very difficult for anyone else to love you. Share this posting with him, and talk about your issues. The truth is often unbearably painful, but it works to purge those awful feelings that often poison our mind. Best luck to you.

Answer 5

First of all, congratulations on going back to school! Bettering your life is a great thing to for ANYONE do, regardless of age. I am a late "bloomer" myself (I'm 28 and will be going back to school this fall), so I completely understand.

It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your life and understandably, are overwhelmed. I feel for your situation, I really do.

Life can be very hard and full of obstacles and challenges. It is only natural to get stressed out during these times and that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, that you "have a weak will" or that you are a failure in any way. You're going through a rough time - try to give yourself a break.

It sounds like you should stop worrying about pleasing others so much and caring what others think about you. Your biggest priority should be taking care of and loving yourself.

"I know my fiance has been so dissapointed in me the last few months. I know that I haven't been easy to love..." - If your fiance is honestly disappointed in you, then you should kick him to the curb! He should be PROUD of you, not disappointed. It sounds like your fiance is unsupportive and makes you feel bad about yourself. Are you 100% certain that you want to marry this guy??? Although I don't know you, I am concerned. As far as you not being easy to love...unless you've committed some horrendous act of some sort, why in the world would it not be easy for someone to love you? You sound like a great person who unfortunately has had some very tough times in your life. Why would that make you unlovable?

It sounds like you need to do some major soul searching. Take a good, hard look inside yourself and remember who you are inside. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of praise. You are worthy of every good thing life has to offer. Don't let anyone tell you differently. If anyone treats you like you are less-worthy or unworthy, kick them out of your life ASAP. You don't need or deserve that negativity in your life.

If someone loves you, they love and accept you for YOU, regardless of your accomplishments or mistakes. True love is unconditional. Love yourself first and foremost. You are worth it!

I wish you the best. Good luck with persuing your nursing education and career...I bet you'll do great! Take care!

P.S. If you ever need a non-judgemental friend to talk to, feel free to email me through here. :-)

Answer 6

Don't worry too much... just keep thinking that you're doing something to make your life better. I wish I had your situation. Imagine, at 32, I'm a single mom of 3... 2 different dads... no husband, no boyfriend... I depend on my mom and my grandma for my everyday expenses and school. Now my mom is tired of helping me out so I will have to work and stop Nursing school :-(
Just this year too I was told by my ex bf that we will never be together. My maid just left me last November so it's been a struggle to stay in school and take care of the kids. My kids have been sick without end. After one is sick, the other one will be, with pharyngitis, tonsilittis... and I had to take them to the doctors for antibiotics because they are running high fevers. I have to miss school sometimes so I can monitor them taking their meds. I have to wake up before 5am to get everyone ready for day care, get myself ready for school... clean up a little at home. I get home late in the afternoon, pick them up, fix food, clean them up and sometimes my little one doesn't sleep til 11 to 1am... and I'm so tired and alone. My wish is to work in the US someday as a nurse and right now that all seem impossible. I'm sad, working here is not even enough to pay the bills, I don't want my kids growing up and I can't even afford to send them to school. You have so much edge so just do what you have to do!

Answer 7

hi girl maybe you need to stop this ride you're on for a minute and take a break from everyone the fiance,family school everything and get with your self because you're going to crash girl and then it will be sometime before you can put things together. you are taking way too many things at one time for one self. you need to talk to your man,family and school and tell them that you need some time to your self so you can get your head together but start the 30 hours and fix up the house o.k your not crazy you need time to put things in it's place that's all .so do just that it will get better slow down Rome was not build in a day and your life can't be fix in a few days it takes time so slow down o.k please. we women take on too much for our own good.

Answer 8

The only person you need to prove yourself to is yourself. I went back to school after I was divorced with 2 kids, worked 32 hours/week & became a nurse. Maybe you should wait to get married once you are finished with your hectic school schedule. Good Luck to you.

Answer 9

Fu** what your fiance says. You will be making enough money in a couple of years to name your price anywhere plus you will meet a richer guy hang in there. 1L law student here and I know believe me you sound just like me.

Answer 10

I can relate in A LOT of ways, I would love to talk, email me at [e-mail]