Can you please give me love?

Question

All my entire life has been full of hatred and a very, very small amount of love. My parents were horrible role models and ever since my childhood I've only learned how to distrust people and never have meaningful relationships. I have since gone into deep depression but I don't want to see a damn doctor because that's about as useful as being hoped up on silly medication. Is there any way out of this...?

Answer 1

Well, please understand that it is your perspective on life that has you in this predicament. Growing up the way you were is the main factor as to why you are the person you are today. If you had grown up in an inverted situation, this question asked today would defiantly not be. It is only until we begin to readjust our position and perspective in life can we really begin seeing that what we thought we knew, is nothing compared to what is actually out there. You see the more you focus on your depression, the more depressed you will feel. There is no doctor, therapist or pill that will change your perspective for you. This is a journey of self-discovery that starts from within. Once you can first understand why things are the way they are - you can set yourself in a position to make the necessary adjustments. Knowing why you feel the way you do and encouraging things to keep you in that same position of lock down is totally different from actually allowing yourself to get better. If you’re in a hole and you want to get out, do not complain about being in the hole and wondering why you haven’t gotten out. Be ready to put in the work and get your hands dirty, it’s time for you to start climbing out. Once your perspective changes, your environment changes. No one can give you love, it is not something that is distributed at the drop of a dime, but when you love, you will receive love. You never have to ask for love, it is something that you feel. Hang around the things that make you genuinely happy. Do the things that make you happy. Meet new people outside of your circle, trust me, people don’t bite, and just incase they do, make sure that you stay far away from those individuals. Unless you’re a freak and you like that kind of stuff! This is a mental battle with yourself and no one knows you better than you do. I see that under your name you have the code for (NES) Contra – if you enjoy games, play them. Trust me, they’re millions of gamers out there, just like me :-) Find your joy and stick with it. This way, you’re not running from your problems, but you’re actually finding solutions to them. It is the law of MAAT – once you find that balancing factor, you will even out things for yourself.

Answer 2

i think that the first thing that you have to ask yourself is what do you really want out of your relationships with other people. you have the ability to change and interact with people differntly, but do you really want to want to change. your parents povided you with a foundation of examples of how to live your life, but now you have to choose if that way of living is in your own best intrest. if i had any suggestions for you i would say figure out things that are of interest to you and explore those intrest. along the way you may find pople that you identify with and may even begin to trust those people. another thing that you addressed is your issue of going to the doctor because you feel that they may put you on one of the many medications for depression. i would say that would be true if you were to go to your family physician. in my life during times of depression or just being down about the direction of my life i have always utilized the counseling services provided the schools that i have attended and by other outside counseling agencies. never once has the counselor recommended that i begin to take an anti-depressent. the goal most therapist is to help people work throught their situations, rather than hide behind it with medications. most of the time in therapy is spent dealing directly with the issues that you are having and helping you work throught the situations such as the one that you described above. i would recomend that you talk with a counselor/therapist in your area so that they may break some of the misconceptions that you may have about the counseling process. i bet you can find alot of counslelors in you local yellow pages. good luck and i hope that you find what it is that you are truly looking for.

Answer 3

You have to learn to love yourself. As indivduals we can rise above anything if we choose to do so. Don't let your upbringing make you a bitter person, because you will become very lonely and then be really depressed. Please believe that you can be anything and do anything you can possibly imagine. You can learn to trust and have meaningful relationships, you don't need a doctor. However, I think you should look at attending some sort of group (they're everywhere) session where you'll meet people with similar circumstances and you'll realize that things are not as bad as they appear to be. Good luck and god bless.

Answer 4

You may be suprised at how much a therapist can help you reveal what is at the root of your problems.
There are many types of different therapists from different perspectives of psychology that could suit your need. Whether you need one from the psycodynamic perspectives that finds underlying childhood problems to cognitive therapists on the way you think.
Therapists are very good people to go to. They are non-objective and do not judge you in any way. They are good at what they do, and what they do is to help you behave normally again.
If money's a problem, try group therapy which is much cheaper.
A statistically significant people that go to a therapist find good results and form a positive bond with the therapist.
All in all, go see one.

Answer 5

Just because you're feeling depressed right now doesn't mean you can blame it on your parents or even the people around you. First you have to look into yourself because if you don't let yourself be happy, you won't be. You seem to have convinced yourself that this is your parents' fault because you didn't receive any love as a child. Yes, that is some part of it, but what's important is that you have to stop hating yourself, your parents, and your life in order for others to love you. Delving into the world of self-hatred just invites others to hate you as well.

If you need to talk to someone, e-mail me: [e-mail]. I can't promise that I won't be mean but I will promise that I won't lie to you.

Answer 6

I made a HAPPY CD for myself as music therapy. My first child died from SIDS when he was 5 months old. I went into a deep depression, and considered suicide, to be with him of course. The only thing to do is to be resilient. Let life bounce off of you. Maybe you should learn to love yourself and fill your own void.

If you e-mail me I'll send you an attachment of my CD. It is very motivational and has many different genres of music. [e-mail]

Answer 7

join the club... my mom was depressed and she became abusive and paranoid. My dad is a soldier in Iraq. So When I ranaway I went to my best friend, who's the sweetest guy alive, but I totally dragged him down... I have trouble knowing when someone loves me... I know my best friend must, and his family, because they have became my new family and they treat me like a daughter. I regret thinking of suicide. He always tells me that God loves me too, but I just do not want to listen sometimes but I feel bad that I never take him seriously.

Answer 8

Sorry sounds like the meds may be the way to go for a while. You sound seriously depressed. Go see a therapist.

Answer 9

come on. no need getting depressed. life is bad sometimes, but not that bad! you can show how cool of a person you really are by being happy and social. cheer up. maybe you can im sometime. it would be nice to cheer you up bit = )

Answer 10

The only way that I can give you love is pray for you. So get out and socialize and do not be affraid.