I have been with my boyfriend now for almost six months and he has been married three times already. I have never been married, we were talking about marriage for us in the future and he said that he really does not want a big wedding because this will be his fourth wedding. I am kind of upset about it because this is my first wedding and I want it to be special. It is not my fault that he has been married three times already. Should I not have my special wedding?
2007-01-08 14:27:18 · 24 answers · asked by spagirl23188 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Special does not equal big, for one. Talk it over with him, make some suggestions, throw ideas around. I'm sure he didn't mean to say that he just wants to go to the justice of peace and sign the papers. How "big" is "too big" for him? What is your budget? What are the things you absolutely MUST have in your wedding - and what are the things he's totally opposed to? What is the middle ground? I think, you're getting on the defensive way too soon, before having even begun to explore the possibilities.
2007-01-08 14:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please take your time before jumping into marriage. Get it clear between the two of you what each of wants in marriage and what roles you'll play. It is really hard to be married and you should be extra careful because he's already shown that he jumps into things. If you decide he is right for you then he shouldn't be intimidated by a big wedding and you should have your special day!!! But just be a hundred percent sure, marriage is not as easy or dreamy as it sounds!
2007-01-08 14:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by hideemosquito 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all-a guy who has been married 3 times before should not even be talking about getting married to someone he has been dating for 6 months-Please take your time-wait AT LEAST 1 year before you start making wedding plans-if for some reason he CANT wait-something is wrong-some possible co dependency issues. You SHOULD have your big day-it is all we dream about from a young age.
2007-01-08 14:35:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should wait. he's been married 3 times for a reason. you've only been together for 6 months. If you rush into it, I really think you will regret it. yes, I think you should have your special wedding, without a doubt. Just make sure you are 100% positive that this is the man of your dreams and that you compliment each other and have lots in common. If you decide to marry him I wish you the best.
2007-01-08 14:34:53 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Someone who has been married three time has serious problems. You should not be in a rush to marry him. Six months is not enough time to really get to know someone. Put the wedding off and give yourself time to maybe find out the truth as to why he can't stay married.
2007-01-08 15:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by K N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now you know why his marriages didn't last... He thinks about himself and doesn't consider that you have never been married before.. I have to say I would be more concern in why he has already been married 3 times before you... and six months ok knowing someone is not long enough to except an engagement with. at least a year before you would except and then another year until the wedding.. from the looks of it you have alot more things to find out about your mate.. You need to find them out before you get married..
2007-01-08 14:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't be offended. but i don't even think your would be marriage with him would last long. therefore he's right that you should not spend too much for the wedding. just a waste of money.
why am i saying this? he's already been married 3 times! it would the fourth to you. doesn't it say things about him? like he can't make a single marriega work? what makes you think that he can make the marriage with you last longer that the 3 combined?
P.S. that's the other thing bothering me. he doesn't even care to give you that grand celebration for your special day.
2007-01-08 14:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself whether you want to be with someone who has failed at marriage 3 times already! If he really loved you he wouldn't mind the big formal wedding. You might want to reconsider marrying him. Every girl wants to be a princess and dreams about their wedding day. Don't let someone spoil what every girl wants. Trust me, you'll regret it later in life.
2007-01-08 14:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by Susan B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What are you thinking? 6 mos is not long enough to consider getting married when marriages seem to be pretty disposable to this guy. You deserve your dream wedding...with someone who has not already lived that same dream X's 3!!
RUN!!
2007-01-08 14:32:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am currently facing this issue and both of us are taking our time to get to know one another. Most of all, both of us are Christians and believe God brought us together; therefore IF HE wants us to be together than it will be. In the meantime commucation is the utmost importance, especially when an issue presents itself.
Always remember to be respectful of each other. The time to discuss issues is NOT when either of you are upset or angry.Take a breather, regain your composure. Yes, this can be easier said then done as I have been there before.
It's learning to listen to each other along with communication that will assist both of you in becoming closer and your marriage will be healthier and stronger in the long run. Thank-You.
2015-03-02 02:08:42 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋