I am Bi and have come to terms with that but after I came out to my best friend (guy) he realized that there was nothing wrong with not being bi or gay. He began to wonder if he was attracted to me as more than a friend because he had always wanted to be more than just friends. One day he kissed me and I enjoyed it very much because I like him very much. He asked me to be his boyfriend and I agreed. I now realize that he is not comfortable with being bi because he does not want anyone else to find out that he is Bi. After a conversation we just had like 30 min. ago he told me that he feels so comfortable when he is with me and he enjoys being intimate with me and FEELS that our relationship is right but he THINKS that its wrong. He is also very afraid how everyone else will react to our relationship. Should I continue with our relationship? What can I do to help him realize that its not wrong to love another man? Should I back away and let him deal by himself like I had 2?
2007-01-08 14:13:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I really want to help him with his issues but I am afraid that I might end up getting hurt. I think he is totally worth the risk but I really advise in helping him deal with his own issues.
2007-01-08 14:20:36 · update #1
He says he feels good being with me but thinks its wrong because were both raised catholics. I think he is still uncomfortable with the idea of having a relationship? He dose not have any problems kissing or doing anything else. Should I just continue to keep our relationship a secret until he is ready to come out?
2007-01-08 14:40:47 · update #2
True friends do not 'back away'.
2007-01-08 14:18:10 · answer #1 · answered by Kedar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are in a wonderful relationship. Do not let prejudice ideas from other people stand in your way of happiness. The concerns your friend has are very understandable, and we've all had them. We live in a very judgemental society that doesn't understand homosexuality and that is typically why they put us down. You have to make your friend realize that being bi is normal and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Also, don't let your religion tell you how to live your life. I am Catholic myself, and while they might think they have the answers to everything, they do not. People are just going to accept the fact that there are different sexual orientations and that there is nothing wrong with that. You and your friend seem so happy and you deserve to be happy. Don't let anyone tell you that what you are doing is wrong. Talk to your friend about what I've said. Good luck.
2007-01-08 15:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discovering a sexuality is like discovering anything else--it is not wrong to experience a relationship--there are no guarantees that it will be fulfilling or rewarding. It is not ever an issue what other people think--too much emphasis is put on what people think--we have progressed past shock and dismay about sexual choices. Don't backaway--be supportive--enjoy your time together and see where it goes ---eventually it might not work but hetero relationships fail too---it's part of life---just handle it with dignity and accept what happens as a normal part of life. I envy people who care enough to express themselves as they see fit. Just be safe and be respectful. Good luck
2007-01-08 14:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was a huge and difficult step for you to come out for yourself. It's selfish of him to expect you to go through that just to be forced into the closet with him, or worse for him to stuff you into his closet.
I understand that this is all very new to him. But if he feels it's right and thinks it's wrong, he isn't ready to be in this kind of a relationship and this is doomed to failure. Until his feelings can agree with his head, it's not going to work out and in working through that, he's going to go through some turmoil that he's going to need to face on his own.
You trying to be with him through that is only going to hinder his progress and hurt you.
I think you should tell him that you're not going back in the darkness for him or anyone else and that until he's ready to love you openly, he's going to have to live without you.
2007-01-08 14:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by socialdeevolution 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont rush him, although you are comfortable with yourself, im sure there was a time that you werent. Please just enjoy each others company. Make some wonderful memories. Let him find his way weather its being , straight, bi or gay. just be there to support him. If you really care for him, just be there
2007-01-08 14:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by gimlost2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of people who live their whole life withotcoming out.
Do you think you should both come out & be flagrant about it?
I doubt he feels that there is anything wrong other than other people's prejudices.
Discrimination against gays is real, why subject yourself to it if it isn't necessary.
2007-01-08 14:19:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
all catholic boys feel guilty after having gay sex. its a fact. its something he will ahve to deal with. and it is ok to stay in the closet . you dont have top run around screaming that you came out and turn into a flamer . just relax. it will all come together
2007-01-08 14:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by jason s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being raised catholic has nothing to do with it !
Jesus was openly gay, enjoyed it and at that time no one cared.
Give your friend time to get used to your relationship. He will adjust.
2007-01-09 00:10:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just bear with him. It took me 5 years of "sinning", repenting, and rebuking before I figured out that religion was full of s-hit. I would not be exclusive and give him room to figure things out. He will probably come back to you some day...
2007-01-08 14:59:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with this, dont listen to that other guy who commented first. he is crude and i hate people like him. ask your boyfriend what he wants to do and how he wants to do it. i would probably try to help him with it but give him space while doing it. just be there when he needs you
2007-01-08 14:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋