been together (living) for a year he still is talking to his married high school sweetheart?

Question

my boyfriend and i have been going out for over 2 years and living together for one. every timei go away he goes and hangs out and takes pictures of his "friend" that he has known for thirty years...hi high school sweetheart she is married with two kids but he still goes over there and asks her to pose for pictures for him and she does. he isnt moving our relationship forward at all what do i do?

Answer 1

You need to sit down and talk to him and tell he how this makes you feel.
Good Luck

Answer 2

Most people I knew who married a high school bf or gf wound up divorced within a few years. Generally, marrying before age 25 is a really bad idea, no matter who you marry. Statistically, the likelihood of divorce drops DRAMATICALLY if the couple waits until age 25 or later, and the main factor there is that the more life experience you have as an independent adult before you marry, the better prepared you are to make wise choices about marriage... meaning your marriage has a better chance of lasting. I met my husband when I was 21 and we married at 28, and it doesn't bother me one bit that we "dated" for 7 years. It doesn't make me any less married to him now, nor would I have been any more married to him had we married sooner. It makes precisely 0 difference in how others see us, trust me. But waiting that long DID give me time to develop complete and total confidence that I was making the right decision... confidence that there is no way in heck I would have had at 21 years old. And it's confidence that there is no possible way you can have as an 18 year old. You've never lived on your own, or had a job, or financially supported yourself on your own income as an independent adult with NO help from anyone what so ever. Your parents have done everything for you thus far, and you've never really earned anything on your own. Therefore, you have no grounds for making a wise decision about marriage yet, because functionally, psychologically, and emotionally, you're still a kid... and you will STILL be a kid for as long as it takes you to finish your education, get a full-time job, support yourself financially as an independent adult with no help from anyone (including your boyfriend), because you don't really learn how to be a grown-up until you make your own way in the world. If you really value marriage, DO NOT rush into it. Wait for it. Think it through, carefully. Put yourself in the right position to make a sound decision. If he really loves you and you're mean to be, then what's the hurry? If he's the one for you, then he'll be there no matter what... you don't need to trap him with a wedding ring to prove it.

Answer 3

He's living with you, and is taking pictures of his married high school sweetheart? OMG. My advice is to end your relationship with him. He wants his cake and eat it too. If he is doing something like this now, after just 2 years together, imagine what he'll be like in two more years!. Why don't you ask him how he would feel if you go take pictures of your married high school sweetheart? You deserve better than this. Don't you think?

Answer 4

Moving in with this guy was a mistake. He has no reason to move the relationship forward. He already has all the benefits with none of the responsibility. He could be taking the photos to make you afraid to leave him alone. Is there anything romantic going on between them? If so you could tell him that it is not acceptable to you, but if he doesn't consider your feelings, I think you should leave him. Find a man that wants to make you happy. Best wishes.

Answer 5

The reason they are not together is probably because she is married and does not intend on giving up her husband for him. It is okay to have a friendship that has lasted this long, but I think on his part, there is more to his feelings than just a friend. Talk to him, tell him that it hurts your feelings and making you feel bad, if he loves you , he will understand and change. If he gives excuse, does not change and does not want to make you feel better about your relationship with him, then stop being his fool and stand in for someone that he could not catch and keep 30 yrs ago.

Answer 6

What kind of pictures? Does her husband know? Is he friends with her husband? Do you ever hang out with the two of them? If the answer to any of these questions is no, or nude pictures, I'd get the hell out of there.

I have friends that are exes - two of them, who I dated five plus years ago. I also have a boyfriend. And I can tell you that there is absolutely nothing going on between me and my exes, nor do either of us wish there was. We like being friends, that's why we aren't together any more. However, I like my boyfriend to meet them, and get to know them, just as I like him to meet and get to know all my friends. Your situation doesn't exactly sound like this.

Answer 7

Let's be really, really clear. He's just your boyfriend. He's not your husband, and he can do whatever he wants. The problem is that you're desperate enough to put up with this and accept being treated like a whore rather than loved, respected, and married.

Obviously your boyfriend has no respect for you. Move out, and move on. You deserve better.

Answer 8

I'd invite her and her family (including her husband) over for dinner. I'd want to see those pictures, too! Does the husband know they're getting together when you're gone? There's probably nothing more to it, they're probably just really good friends, but I sure would be sharing in the friendship when you're in town.

Answer 9

Sounds like you need to either confront him or maybe even talk to her. My personal experience is guys and girls cannot JUST be friends. There is always something there in some way on one side or the other. AND a married woman should not have a really close guy friend.

Answer 10

He still has a "thing" for his high school sweetheart and it sounds like she does too. He is expending his energy on her and not on you, move on, he won't change.