This may be the stupidest question ever. I need advice on being a housewife.?

Question

I am a stay at home mother. I married at the age of 18. I lived with my parents before that and my mom always did all of the laundry and house work. I rarely even had to clean my room. I have been married for almost three years and I just can not get the hang of laundry and keeping my house clean. I much rather play with my two wonderful children.
I want to know if anyone has a strict routine or a way of motivating themselves. I am disgusted with my house but I am not doing anything about it. I can't have people over because I'm embarresed. I would love for my home to be clean and be able to entertain and have people over LOTs. HELP!!!

I am also very unorganized. Nothing has a set place.

My husband can work up to 90hrs a week at times. It's just me with two kids under two. So, no they can't help and I don't expect my hubby to help he works enough.

Answer 1

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Answer 2

Playing with your kids is wonderful but they need a fairly clean home too. Start early in the morning with a set routine of the daily chores that need to be done. Start with your laundry get some clothes washing first thing while the clothes wash make your bed up. then move on to the kitchen. By now it would be time for the kids to get up. Get breakfast and leave the dishes til you get the clothes in the dryer. Leave the floors til last. Give the children small tasks... dusting etc...that they can do and make a game of it. You should be done in plenty of time to play and to get dinner started. Don't try to do it all in one day. Just start a daily routine and pretty soon you will find that it is easy and you'll be doing more and more. BTW people don't expect your house to be spotless when you have small children. Here is another tip let Monday be laundry day
Tuesday be bathroom scrubbing day
Wednesday mopping
and so on whatever days you choose do one of the hardest chores. Soon your house will be the envy of your friends.
Friday is a good shopping day to prepare for the weekends with your hubby.
P.S. His job is taking out the trash.

Answer 3

Wow, you sound like me. I was that age when I married. It is admirable that you would rather spend more time with your kids, and you should. Ask them to help you clean up; do a certain chore on a certain day of the week, i.e. clean the bathroom on Monday, wash or vacuum the floors on Tuesday, etc. You can always throw a load of laundry in and play while they wash.

If there is anything I have learned, it is this: it never takes as long as you think it does. Try timing yourself changing the linens on your bed. It should only take about five minutes-not long at all. Good luck. I admire your attitude.

Answer 4

Organization is key. Your motivation will come from inside you. You want things that you can't have because of the condition of your home, and it weighs heavy on your mind. The freedom of regaining your life and being at peace within yourself is your motivation. It's hard to get started if you have no organization. Begin by picking a place for things, like the children's toys, clothes, etc. Make a drawer or linen closet place for their blankets. Designate a location for all office-type supplies, like pens, pencils, stapler, batteries, rulers, binders, etc. Put all those type of things in one place. If you get yourself organized once, then you'll know where things go, and the house will keep up with itself better. Find a different place for craft-type items, etc. Whatever you have, divide it into categories and keep things of a certain category together. Plastic baggies work great to help sort out items within a category. As you clean your home, begin room by room. Go deep- into closets, into drawers, into boxes. It's tedious at first, and has little to do with the cleanliness of your home, but it will take care of your organization problem. After that's done, (will probably take 1-2 weeks depending on how dedicated you are and fast you work- and it's WORTH it to regain the rest of your time after it's done), then set up a daily routine that works for YOU. For me, I begin the day by making up beds and picking up the surface of the house... the socks that got dropped on the floor, the papers that got strewn around, the pens that need to be put back into the pen drawer, etc. After that, it's pretty much done. I try to clean bathrooms and floors, and dust about once a week, but it often turns into two. I have 4 kids, so 2 weeks makes me crazy, but sometimes I need to relax. The vacuume, the laundry, and the dishes run daily, and about twice a year I go back through my drawers and closets. Part with everything you can live without. Get rid of old papers, broken stuff that can't be repaired, and things you have but don't like. You REALLY CAN have company in your home in less than a month if you put your mind to it! Good luck!

Answer 5

I'm glad to hear you put your children first. That is WONDERFUL.

Perhaps you can invent games and prizes to have your children help you clean and organize. Tell them you need their help (makes them feel important) and go to Home Depot or Container Store and get boxes etc. Then "play" while organizing. For example, let's get the right toy in the box - ask them their opinion etc.

To maintain your house and also do laundry, have them finger paint and tell them you want to be surprised with their art after you "wait" in the laundry room. Or they do tie-dye while you do laundry. Set up a schedule with them so they know what they'll be doing while you do laundry and they look forward to it.

Vacuum while they work on a puzzle. Or have them eat lunch and "grade" you on your vacuum job and tell them you need them to point out what you missed.

Also talk to your husband to set aside 30 min every day (when the hubbie is settled after work and can watch the kids?) to maintain cleanliness in the house (kitchen mostly).

Answer 6

Gosh--love them while they're little!!!

Its great that you are spending time with your kids. Try just a few simple things to modify some of your habits

1- try to set 1 or 2 hours every day to tidy up
2- In that time focus on a different room every day
3- wash dishes and reorganize kitchen right after eating (my downfall)
4- have the kids help you put toys away as your playing. They love to help or at least mine did
5- with two little ones you must have tons of laundry. Get yourself in the habit of throwing in a load every morning, making sure its in the dryer by lunch time. Bring the basket into the TV room with you while you watch a show with the kids and fold it then. When they're a little older they can fold wash clothes for you or help you take their clothes to their room.
6-set a certain time frame each day to run the vacuum and make yourself stick to it. You'll feel better if the carpets look good!!

Don't worry as soon as you get the hang of it all they'll be in school all day and you will find yourself bored ;)

Answer 7

I was in the same boat not too long ago. Invest in storage containers, especially for the kids toys. Don't try and do everything at once, take it a little at a time. Get the kids to help clean up the mess and teach them how to do the chores for themselves, maybe with some kind of reward system. Things will get easier. As far as cleaning, buy tools that will make cleaning easier and quicker. Good luck!

Answer 8

If you can afford it, hire someone to come out and do a one time cleaning. It is easier to maintain once it has been done. Just break the house into days of the week, like kitchen on mondays, bathrooms on fridays, fill in with other rooms the other days. Spend about 30 minutes in that room cleaning, you can do it during nap time. Do a quick 15 minute touching up the whole house before going to bed after the kids are in bed.

Answer 9

Make you a list of things that need to be done in the house. Have a day that you do certain things. You can do the laundry while while you are playing with your children. They can even help you fold. They love these things and you are still interacting with them. You need to learn a routine, not only for yourself, but for your children as well. GOOD LUCK....

Answer 10

Listen, your children come first, they need you most. If you have a messy house who cares. If it's dirty you need to clean it. Dirty is not the same as messy. Try doing a room a day. Or if it's really bad, sections of a room each day. Make sure you try to clean up after yourself as your house slowly starts to get clean, that way it'll stay clean. Is your honey helping you with any chores? maybe you can take turns? If you have young kids you can use their nap time to straighten up, also. But your babies need you the most so i wouldnt make it my first priority.