Mentally Abused by Wife?

Question

My wife can be incredibly insulting one min then loving the next. After 10 yrs I am tired of the drama..what to do?

Answer 1

Too many men live with this and it goes unreported. Nobody regardless of sex has the right to be abusive towards another human being, let alone their live partner. But sad fact is much like when we were kids we hurt the ones who love us the most and that is because we realize that they love us unconditionally. I would suggest that you and your wife attend for some family counseling and/or she attend for some kind of anger control or management course in order to find other outlets for her anger. Sad fact is that you have enabled her to behave this way for putting up with it for so long. If possible have a good heart to heart with her in an open and mature manner. Maybe she has some form of instablity that your family doctor can prescribe meds for. Regardless of what happens or what route you decide to take try confronting her when she is in good spirits and let her know how this insulting behavior makes you feel. Best of luck and hopefully your next 10 years will be more peaceful.

Answer 2

Sounds as if your wife may be going through some hormonal problem or she may have a chemical problem also.I know it's hard to sit down and talk about it but try, if not write a heart felt letter and let her read it.If that doesn't work make a tape of urslef so she can see you talk but she can't yell at you and you still get your feeling out and she knows how you feel.Tell her she needs to see a dr be it a obgyn or a therapist.Don't just let 10yrs go down the drain that's a lot of work with someone you have loved for a long time.Don't give up on her, you may be the only person she may listen too.She may love on you after she yells feeling guilty.

The fact she doesn't know how to handle her anger, she doesn't know how to handle the feelings she has.What kind of family did she grow up with? Did she get her way all the time to set a pattern? Or did she grow up in a family that had a lot of problems such as no father in the house and now she has a hate feeling for all men deep down in side?Or did she have both parents in home and they are divorced and they fought all the time in front of her? That could have a lot to do with it.Make sure u examine all aspects of the problem before you just let your love slip through ur fingers.Don't listen to the people who say throw her to the curb, NO fight for her.You may be the only one that can help her.

Answer 3

To start treating someone the way they do you, if you don't have any children and this continues it's not worth wasting your life over. Shoot if this were the shoe on the other foot you would probably have been divorced a long time ago. Seek counseling together if you really love her. Love is work,pain, and tears, but it is also supposed to be beautiful, funny, warm, and kind! Try a little tenderness should be her favorite song! Here's a healing kiss to the forehead for ya mmmmmawaww!

Answer 4

Perhaps you should seek the advice of a mental health counselor. Your wife might have a disorder causing this back & forth behavior. There could be a ton of reasons as to why she is like this... if I had to guess I'd say that it's something in her mental make-up. It could have been the way she was raised, or... etc. I can understand your delima to some degree & sympathize with you. Try getting her to a mental health counselor & try to support her as best as you can. The counselor may be able to help you deal with her ups & downs as well. I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. I know it's difficult, but if you truly love her, you'll do what you can for her. Sometimes we (as in people in general) are pushed for unknown reasons to see if we really believe in unconditional love.

Answer 5

shameful, but i feel your pain. I have been in the same relatinship for 12 years, married 6 yrs.. and i am in the same boat. I guess my best advise that ive FINALLY learned to accept and am slowly becoming okay with would be to one, admit you have some faults, we all do.. but that does not give ANYONE the right to treat you like crap no one does... look im sure you both are good people but have crossed that road where your good fr eachother...simple as this... if the way she treats you makes you question your worth it may be time to look her in the eyes and let her know that someone else would gladly take what she dosent want... as they say "ONE MANS JUNK, IS ANOTHER MANS TREASURE....." now if only i could be as strong., good luck w/that.

Answer 6

She must be unhappy with her life in some way and uses you as a punching board sort of speak so maybe you need to ask her if when she insults you if that is her true feelings or unresolved problem of her own. Or maybe she is upset with you for something you have or have not done in the past and she just can't get over it?

Answer 7

Insult her a** back (I don't care how childish and immature people may say that is) stop being a damn doormat, let her a** have it (tell her a** off) and then leave (permanently) and forget that whole I'm so sorry and I'll never do it again mess, if you tired like you say you are you will leave and not look back, unless u have kids and even with that treat her like she is a stranger,"Hi may I speak to my children, thank you." Tell her either you are going to take your bipolar a** to someone who specializes in psycho sematic problems, because I don't and get help or we're through.

Answer 8

Oh. It sounds like your'e in the same situation as my mum and stepdad. They say they love each other but they fight constantly and its not good. Perhaps your wife is suffering from depression or something might be upsetting her and she might be scared to talk to u. It could be that she is an insecure person herself and, of course u stick by your loved one through the good and bad times but its not fair that they drag you down when they are having problems and taking out on you. Noone deserves to be abused in anyway, its up to you to make this decision but, just remember, if you talk to her and she doesn't stop abusing you, i think you deserve better. : ) take care

Answer 9

Only you know how far you will go, but if it was me, after having been there before in a past relationship, I would tell my man that he has a choice to make: Go to counseling and work on those unresolved issues that are causing so much anger and bitterness or take a hike.

Answer 10

You need humor in your marriage! Get out to a comedy club once a month and call me in the morning. Just kidding! Your marriage is focusing on the extremes in personalities. It just so happens that humor is always at the center of most personalities. What can it hurt? Give it a try! What bad can happen? So you'll smile all the way to the divorce court.