He was laid off 3 times the last 8 years .... during the times that he was employed, we paid for many other things for his daughter (a clarinet for band, school trip, summer camp 3 years, cell phone so no worries about when she needed to be picked up from school events, car insurance --- things that saved her mother money, many clothes, many things we would not have been able to do for the child --- but things that benefited her mother). 3 days before the child turned 19, my husband was served with papers for contempt and she is now requesting back child support, interest (50% interest) and attorneys fees. No request had ever been made prior to this that she needed us to begin payments ... now we feel like she set this up and we were her "lottery" interest savings acount. This is a woman that we were on good terms with, and who never once in these 8 years asked for the child support. Is there anything we can do?
2007-01-08 13:15:58 · 11 answers · asked by strwaytohvn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
did i mention ... nope ... forgot to mention that the daughter came and lived with us 3 separate times while her mother was having "problems" once for 9 months ..... amazing how we were there when she needed us and now my she is going so far as to request my husband also serve jail time for contempt of the support order. This is making my husband look like a dead-beat dad, which is furthest from the truth .... how can someone who has never even mentioned the support in 8 years be allowed to do this? My husband is a caring loving good man who loves his daughter, and his daughter and my 2 children love him.
2007-01-08 13:28:27 · update #1
Contact an attorney
2007-01-08 13:21:34 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea it sounds like she has her winning lottery ticket in hand! Besides getting a GOOD lawyer I would start getting together any and all reciepts you can that shows what your husband has spent on the daughter. Cancelled checks work too. If you can't find a reciept for the clarinet call the store you got it at, they should have a record. Try to remember any and all things you have done for the girl that has benefited her and/or the mom. Like when she lived with you and for how long. One thing you have in your favor is that the daughter is old enough to speak on behalf of her father. She could also be a potentiel wittness if she heard the mother say not to worry about the child support. This may not get him out of trouble but it should at least lessen the severity. It is good that the daughter is 19. It will still be hard on her but shouldn't be as bad as it would be if she were say 10.
2007-01-08 14:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by GPHS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you keep receipts or records of anything? I'm not sure how you could afford to buy a clarinet for her, school trips, summer camps and cells phones but not pay support! Especially since your husband has been laid off 3 times in 8 years! How much was his support supposed to be? If you did have her for some of the time (full time, not just here and there), you should have something to show for that (school records or something). I would get busy digging all those things up.
2007-01-08 13:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by lucy7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like youre right, she got you real good. Since you had a divorce decree ordering you to pay child support, you should have known enough to contact the courts in event of lay off. You could sue her in court but all you have is a oral agreement and without any kind of proof, this agreement never existed at all. The decree probably ended at 19 so this is why she filed now. There is probably not much you can do now except take her on in court and it will be your word against hers. Just dont bring up hearsay or get into name calling as it wont help. The best you can hope for is to get her confused and maybe get her caught up in a lie, which will attack her integrity and hopefully the judge will notice. Remember its not over til its over. You might also try to work out some deal with her, hopefully for a far lesser amount and keep it out of court. If you have receipts for anything you paid for, now is the time to get them out. Time has come to play hardball and pull out all stops as you have alot to lose here, so get down and dirty if this is the way she wants to play. Good luck
2007-01-08 13:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let this be a lesson to every child-support paying parent, the moment you lose a job, file for a reduction in child support to what is appropriate to your new income, or unemployment. DO IT IMMEDIATELY!!!!!
You may not get a hearing for a while, but the reduction will be retroactive. If you get a job before the hearing, at least it can be adjusted for the time you're unemployed and set to what is appropriate for the new job effective the date you started it.
If you quickly get a new job at comparable earnings, you can withraw the petition, (the lawyers fees for trial can easily exceed the temporary reduction).
Never, never, never trust the cutodial spouse.
Never, never, never wait to file to adjust the support because you lost your job.
You might be on good terms now, but years later, the tide can turn.
If you pay child support, you should have a lawyer now, not wait to find one when you suddenly need one.
2007-01-08 16:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by mt_hopper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the daugher came and lived with you for a period of time, that money will be adjusted (request it) from the arrears owed. as for the summer camp, cell phones, school activities, car insurance, etc; they may also be adjusted, but since its not considered 'necessities', it may not. each state is different (slightly) with these matters.
helping out doesnt pay the bills or keep the electric on.
for attorney fee's, contact your local Legal Aid Office. this will help a great deal. all states have them and are in most counties as well. they go on a sliding scale, so its free to most. look in the phone book, or contact your county court clerks office and ask if they have it. if no luck, call your states Bar Assoc for it.
she is entitled by law to recieve the arrears, for it is she whom footed the bills herself. as for the interest, they made that law because parents (male and female) were not paying support, let alone arrears. all of those prior deadbeat parents out there forced the federal government to step up and make these laws.
so, to answer any questions you may have, here are are some links. just click on your state and find the section you need. they are a pretty good source of info.
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
i would just pay it and make it go away. if he doesnt, it'll effect his credit report, tax refunds (state and federal), and possibly leins on any property.
2007-01-09 01:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO If there was an existing order for support she can do it. If he didn't pay child support it doesn't matter how accomodating she was or you were, bottom line is the Order exisited and no one modified it. You said you paid for other things like school trips, school events, clothes, etc. that benefited the mom??? That was for his daughter....Yes, perhaps that helped the childs mom financially, but, it was for THEIR daughter. And just because she didn't ASK for child support, she didn't have to, it was court ordered.
L.
2007-01-08 15:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by tink3610 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can take her to court and sue her for fraud. You had an oral agreement, and she broke that agreement. Child support is not a paycheck for her, and now that the child is 19, the mother has no right to go after you personally. That is up to her daughter!
2007-01-08 13:22:20 · answer #8 · answered by Foxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women are just straitup Bi--ches, sorry for you and your husband. If you ahve kept the reciepts I would go to court and ask the judge if you can speak and tell him the story just told here. And wow I just don't know what to say. I feel for you , talk to an attorney. Good luck to you and your husband.
2007-01-08 13:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not really, but hope you keep receipts to show that you have helped over the years.no matter what he is obligated to pay. My advice is to never trust a women when it comes to money.. That is funny cause i am a women however get a lawyer.....
2007-01-08 13:25:45 · answer #10 · answered by Sherman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋