Ok, my problem is when I am having intercourse with my wife I can not ejaculate. I can do it when I masturbate, but when I am having intercourse with my wife can not build up enough stimulation to ejaculate inside her. We are newly married and did not have intercourse before we got married and I am very worried because we want to try to have kids in a few years. What can I do? Please serious replies only.
2007-01-08 13:10:28 · 10 answers · asked by Kurt 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Are you on anti-depressants ? If so, that's the problem. For some reason they delay orgasm entirely--you'll find that masturbation is ok, though, for some reason. Go to the doctor and have him/her prescribe viagra/levitra, etc. (I know, you don't need for erection, but they are used to "push you over the cliff" so to speak).
Otherwise, you need to not masturbate for a week or so, you'll do just fine inside your wife. Relax. After a week you'll be ready to explode.
Finally, you may have a good girl/bad girl complex. If so, you need to get over that. Sex is a good thing, God created it for marriage, not only to have children, but to enjoy each other.
Good luck.
2007-01-08 13:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Baby steps, Kurt. Maybe you aren't ready to come inside her. Try oral sex, for one, or have her masturbate you. I think what you have is a mental block. What you need to do is associate HER with sexual satisfaction so, if the only time you can come is when you masturbate then have her masturbate you. Eventually, you may move on to full intercourse. It is frustrating for her, I know, so be sure to give tit for tat. If she "jacks you off" or "goes down on you" then make sure to go down on her (a lot!) and touch her intimately. That way you can at least manage to both have an orgasm. Hope that helps.
2007-01-08 21:17:50 · answer #2 · answered by slvrdlphn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are many things that it could be. If you're nervous, that could be distracting you from the sensations. My best friend can't ejaculate inside his girlfriend even with a condom because he's so afraid of getting her pregnant.
I don't know if you've tried different positions or not, but if you haven't and neither of you is opposed to it, that might be your next best bet. Try having her put her feet on your shoulders, if nothing else. It will create a tighter sensation.
Also, try not to focus so much on finishing, but on what the two of you are experiencing together and the intensity of the moment. If that doesn't work, you might consider sex therapy. (I know most men don't want to believe that they need to see a therapist for sex, but you might really want to consider it.) They teach you techniques for touching, and both giving pleasure to and receiving pleasure from your partner.
Good luck!
2007-01-08 21:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by mkbrocato 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is most definately a mental block if you can ejaculate during masturbation there is no physical reason why you can't by having sex. are you getting enough stimulation? try to just enjoy the act of sex and when you get close just say to yourself relax and enjoy this, don't put too much pressure on yourself. when you are ready to come flash in your mind to masturbating and let go i wish you luck with this~
2007-01-08 21:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by pa625 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Could be, in part, performance anxiety. Now that you're having a problem performing, you're "programming" yourself for failure. It's not so uncommon.
As a temporary solution, you might see a doc and try Viagra as a temporary way to keep it up longer, allowing you the time to finish.
If keeping it up isn't the problem, and it's just a stimulation problem, then maybe more foreplay, bringing you closer to cumming before you penetrate.
2007-01-08 21:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by so far north 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stage fright.
Perfectly normal. Just do something low-key like watch some porn together. Have her pleasure you. See if that will get you off. Maybe some mutual masturbation.
If and when you finally bust your nuts inside, you'll have broken that psychological barrier and you'll have oodles of fun!
2007-01-08 22:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by CyberCop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe if she took your virginity you just dont get off by intercourse
try having her give you oral sex and see if you get off with that
you could be scared to ejaculate inside of her
2007-01-08 21:14:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mr_wall2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a mental block. try pulling out of her and have her masturbate you off right against her and just as you start to orgasm, slide back into her.
2007-01-09 15:35:56 · answer #8 · answered by billnrhonda 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Asking your dr what you can do is the best help you can get. If you don't want to talk to your dr you can go on WEBMD.com which is a lot of help for help issues
2007-01-08 21:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by howellgirl54 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might need to talk to a shrink
Physiological problems can happen
2007-01-08 21:18:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋