just found a lenthy love letter in my bfs briefcase from an old gf,should i worry?

Question

been dating tom for almost 6mons.right before i met him he broke-up with his gf.they have been dating on and off for the last 15 yrs(he left his wife for her).he has kep in touch with her since they broke-up 7 mons ago but has told me they were just friends.well last night i found a 5 page love letter from her in his briefcase.it went something like this "what tom murphy means to me" then she had eash reason numbered #1.you told me i will allways be # 1 to you #2.i love the way you smile when u look at me...and this went on for 5 pages! i could tell by the way she was speaking she wrote this after they brokeup.when i asked my bf about it he just blewed it off and said oh that thing its been in there forever i just forgot to take it out.well maybe so but i sware it was not in there last week,plus it was right infront how could he "over look" a 5 page letter?my question is what is she up to wrighting something like that reminding him of all the things he has done/said to her?

Answer 1

You need to have a serious talk with tom. Let him know you know the letter was not in there last week. Don't let him turn things around and make it look like you have the problem. He is not being honest with you and you have every right to be worried. Tell him you'd like to call her and ask her when she wrote it. See what he says. I know you probably want to believe him, but don't be a fool. Open your eyes and see things as they really are.

Answer 2

Why are you looking through is briefcase not just this once, but last week too?

Maybe you don't have anything to worry about with the letter, but I would be worried if he determines that you don't trust him and that you're snooping. That's not a recipe for a long lasting relationship. A 15 year relationship is hard to measure up to, but if he tells you it's nothing to worry about, then you should realize that he may be done with her, but maybe he's not ready to part with the letter and respect his feelings. I have been married for many years and have a few special letters from my high school sweetheart. I'll probably never see him again, but they're special.

Let some time go by (to do it right now would be cheesy) and write him a special letter. Spell check or proof read though, because your question could have used it.

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry about her so much cause she is not in the relationship with you. What is in your power though is to let your bf know if you are uncomfortable with the fact that for example they are still in touch or you feel that she is threatening your relationship and see what he has to say. For your peace of mind and the sake of your relationship, he should have no problem cutting communication with her for right now.